My Precious Rusty Atrophy

    It's amazing how fast skills can erode or disappear all together. I went to do a few forms last night while outside BBQing, and quickly realized nope, that is not how this form goes, or this one, or this one. I was mashing three forms together, Yikes! Obviously I am not practicing as I should be, I wasn't just rusty, I was lost. Now to tell the truth, I was more just going through the motions so that my time in front of the BBQ wasn't wasted by me just twiddling my thumbs, but still! I know better. I need to do each rep with a purpose, not just because. My bad entirely. 

   So this morning I am reviewing my forms, all of them, and seeing just where I want to focus on so I can fix one technique that will help with ALL the forms. No more silo, like the mighty Tolkien said (modified for Kung Fu of course) " One technique to rule them all, one technique to find them, One technique to bring them all, and in the Six Harmonies bind them " So sorry for any LOTR fans out there but this is just how my brain works.

Tis the Season

    I am privileged. I have a loving family, a decent job (though I gripe about it way to much), a home, transportation, health, mental stability, the list goes on and on. But I still complain. Why? 

   Is it entitlement? Is it my "right" to whine when in all reality I have more of everything than I will ever need or be able to use? Tough to answer but no I don't.

   Sitting at Christmas dinner with my family last night, I thought about this, and I was immensely proud to be part of this group of people. They are happy, caring and loving people. But there is a gigantic gap in this circle, my Dad, I dearly miss my Dad, this is the fifth Christmas since he passed, but I endeavor to acknowledge him and all he accomplished, striving to fill his gigantic shoes with my choices and actions. Everywhere in my Mom's house there is reminders of him. One that hit me hard last night was seeing his Operation Red Nose (https://www.operationnezrouge.com/en/) hat with it's dozens of pins, each one representing a year of him volunteering to ensure people he didn't know got home safe to their loved ones' after a night of celebration. Then there was his volunteering to drive seniors to appointments, his work with the Kinsmen, his 150th blood donation, etc, big BIG shoes! 

   So what do I do to help my fellow human. Yes I donate blood at least three times a year and I will volunteer when I am volun-told but I need to do more.

   Being a Martial Artist stirs this feeling in me to a frenzy. In a good way of course. I am not going to rush out and impose my ideals on those who do not want it, but offer my hand to those who want it, not taking offence when they don't. Being a part of Silent River allows me to do this in an organized way, but I need to step out on my own and do more if I am to start to close the gap left by my Dad's passing. 

   Anyways, that is where my head is at today. Just wanted to share...

From Where Does Inspiration Come?

   Inspiration is funny. It can forever allude you or it can be right in front of you, just waiting for you to notice it. It is a Ninja and an raging Elephant all at the same time, mysterious but obvious, silent but a deafening din, amazing but mundane. So to acknowledge it's omnipresence, I will throw a couple of recent events that have inspired me. 

   Todia M Ward. Working with you on your board break sequence has inspired my back fist. To have to explain what I "feel" made my understanding of what I was doing snap into focus, even though we were working on a hammer fist. Funny coincidence but there it was, right in front of me.

   Sifu M Hayes. Taking down the Lion the other night, you popped right up on top of the bag like it was just a small step over a small stone. WOW! My jaw hit the ground! Suddenly all my excuses of age and non-fitness seemed absolutely ridiculous. I was in bewilderment of my mediocracy, staring me right in the face like a disappointed parent shaking their head at their lazy child. If that didn't inspire me, nothing ever will.

   Todia M Ferris. Your ability to recite all the kid's name like the are your own children, truly masterful. I bow to your ability to be in absolute control over this. 

   Sifu K Rybak. Your ability to throw AHA moments at us, pure awesome sauce. The whole stance thing last week, you must have seen nothing but deers in the headlights from us. Pure "what the??" not just by the students you were teaching at the time but by me as well. Makes so much sense, how could it have been there all along, in plain sight, hiding within 50000. Six harmonies that are one, flow, intent, power, Chi, all right there for the world to see. Mind blown. 

   So this is just last week, and only but a few of the top events that really stand out. It goes to show me that inspiration is everywhere. All you need do is to just look for it and it will reveal itself. 

Saturday Training, Why I Go

    Open training. I almost always go with clear intent as to what I want to accomplish. Case in point, yesterday I wanted to polish up some moves with my Tiger Fork. Now that my shoulders have started feeling "better", I wanted to swing/spin it a little to test my muscle memory. Started out fine, felt good, but then there was just no more room for me to do this. But this, of course, is a good thing. That means open training has lots of students there. So I switch to my stick cause that is much more friendly to practice with when space is limited. But here is the rub.

   As soon as I got my stick out to practice, a white belt came over with their stick and started to ask some questions. So my focus was now on answering the questions posed to me, and then next thing I knew, I had two junior students asking me questions. Well I can see where this is going, and this is just plain awesome. A teaching opportunity has just arisen and I will gladly step into this role and do my best to help them out. 

   So we spend the next 25ish minutes going over Stick 1 with a dabble into Stick 2. We cover stances, intent, projection, recovery, etc. Great, I have hopefully answered the questions, I hope I hope I hope. And even better, if they only take away one thing from this interaction between us, my day is 100% better.

   I love the fact that my fellow Kung Fu enthusiast feel comfortable enough to come to me for council. That interaction outside of structured class is so important for my training. I mean really, how can I give instructions without understanding what I am talking about. And I will also freely admit when the question is beyond my knowledge, which drives me to get the answer to my void of understanding.  It really does test both my skill and confidence, forcing me to understand both my intent and that student's intent, if that is even possible.

  

    So open training, two words with the infinite opportunity for growth in both skill and spirit. This is why I go.

Square in a Circle, Carrot or the Stick?

    Time. Limited, finite (for us mere mortals), fleeting. Always a puzzle and a challenge to fit in everything I want to do in the time I have. Family, work, Kung Fu, sleep, reading blogs, feeding, ticktock ticktock, time marches on. Even in writing this blog, time is not on my side, I overslept (6am!!) so right off the bat I am behind on my mental list of todo's. So I squeeze in time for this blog, forgoing laundry and Mlong Kuen reps, and I know it (blog) will not be ground breaking but hopefully it will have a purpose. 

   I like lists. I write one every day so I can plan my day. It almost never goes perfectly, but it goes on regardlessly. A few things might get pushed, new things might get added, but on I march, doing my best to turn todo into tada!. 

   Adaptation is essential but at times it is painfully frustrating. I need the struggle though because without it, mediocrity seeps into my day. If I have no sense of urgency, I justify my procrastination with self-righteous excuses. Pushing forward and using time instead of fighting it creates opportunities. Some are meh, some are downright earth shaking!

Pause here..... 12 hours later my Sunday is caught up and I am finishing this blog.....

   So here I am trying to get back to my thought train, I think it was opportunities. To be taught, to be teachable. Right, that was where I was going with this mental maelstrom, I think. But now I have lost my original path for this blog, it is now a chasm of futility and that is a shame, cause I really wanted to get it in a blog, drat!

   So I will chalk this up to a loss on the opportunity path, I let the idea die during the day. It might come back to me, I hope it does.

To Much Blah, not Enough Cheese Cloth

    Something I realized this week, I talk way to much during class, in both my own classes and others students classes. And this is taking away from both my class time and others. But as I realized this, I also found it to be a very hard habit to break. But I need to. I am there to learn, not chat. I need to be my own example to myself, "less yak more smack" as the saying goes.

   Self analysis of myself is hard. In my head, comments and ideas and advice burst forth and demand to be heard, somehow thinking that these nuggets must be heard by all immediately to solve all problems in the world. I am really trying to temper these bursts of distractions. Slowing down my thoughts has always been a rather large problem of mine, like trying to stop the flow of a river with a length of cheese cloth in both hands, next to impossible. But I try. 

   So me and my Id will go on a cosmic shopping trip to buy a lot more cheese cloth, and together him and I will stretch it across my mental stream to catch some thought/ideas/advice before they unwantedly burst through to the mouth, spewing forth like verbal vomit, blah. 

   

Too Much Time

    For me, having too much time to do something is detrimental, it quickly turns into nothing. This time off of regular classes has born no fruit, so to speak. With the lack of time constraints, procrastination took over. Sure I've now have had ample time for some injuries to start to heal, but at the same time, the damage my overall training that has happened is disappointing. I relied to much on others to train with me instead of just getting up and doing it on my own. 

   I really wanted to work on my fork form this week, add some pizazz to it. Instead I all added was rust, to the fork and to me. I had the opportunities and the time, but didn't take advantage of either. And now it is back to the rush of the "schedule". I am disappointed in myself, yet again.

   It is odd that the busier my day, the more I get done. Weird right? I guess it all depends on my definition of busy. Take yesterday for example. Both Deb and Kody had to work, so it was just me and the dog. I had a list of chores I gave myself, and I managed to get them done, "good job Don!". But the list was weak, it only took me a couple of hours to do, so the rest of the day I did nothing, nada, zilch. I did manage to watch a couple of really bad movies that I know Deb would have hated, so there is that right? Wrong. Hours and hours of missed opportunities.

   All kidding aside, I am recharged and anxious to get back at it at the Kwoon. I need the structure, I need the PUSH to get my mojo going. Excited to see you all Monday on the mats.

Catching Up on Myself

    I missed my Sunday morning blog this week. I had to deal with some poorly done renovations that I needed to re-renovate and it took much longer than I had hoped. But now I think it is done to my liking, at least it better be. 

   So this directly ties into my training. The renos were done poorly, partly my fault (mostly?), I took the easier cheaper route instead of investing the time and effort (money) to do it right. So it took twice as long as it should have and now I am settling with a "good enough" job. And I am very frustrated because of it. 

   Where is my mastery? Where is my eye for detail? These ideals can't just apply to Kung Fu, right? Is this the way I am approaching my training, with a good enough attitude? How about my job, my personal life, my health? Am I applying mastery to any of this? Arrg!!

   So anyways, I wanted to catch you up to where I am right now. Time to re-read Mastery a few dozen more times and see if I am understanding those four paragraphs or just going thru the motions.

Always Looking Back to See Forward

    This last weeks kids classes were a great kick in the butt for me. It all came down to a couple of words. Review and engagement.

   It started with the Young Dragons doing shoulder rolls into a bow stance with two front thrust kicks, one on each leg. Started out fine but I noticed the students were quickly putting zero effort into the kicks, they were getting bored and "sloppy". So I changed up what they had to do each time, 

   I surprised them with a different kick combo each time. First, two fast front thrust (ft) kicks, switch leads, two more fast ft kicks. Okay but slow, now can you beat me? Remember, I'm old and you are not! Excitement is back, "no way this old guy is faster than me",  so lets build on this. Next, ft kick followed by round house (rh) WITHOUT putting your foot down. Deer in the headlights all around, awesome! You could tell most had never even considered COMBINING a kick. Double awesome. When the said they didn't think they could, I would show them. See, if the old guy can do it, you can too. Some immediately figured it out, I was smiling ear to ear, the way they picked up the challenge and OWNED it! I had one of the best classes ever, it still gives me goose bumps just looking back on it. And I really hope the students liked it as well.

   So my personal takeaway from this? This is many faceted. First, am I challenging myself every class, or am I floating, sloppy and bored? Does this personal "challenging" extend beyond the Kwoon? Second, am I reviewing things I may not have even know I had forgot. Like the Iron Cross, Seven Knife Hands, Poison Hands, Hidden Leg technique, Chokes and Wrist escapes, etc? There is SO much I have learned over the years, where to start? Third, I must make Kung Fu enjoyable and not a chore/hoop (which it isn't!). Cherry pick things from the past that are applicable to the path I am on. I can't review everything all the time but I can combine things to streamline my review. Like hidden leg with iron cross or Awaken the Dragon with stretching. 

   This is why Kung Fu is the best Martial Art ever, it is symbiotic if you let it be. The past, present, and future can work in harmony, it is just up to you/me to figure out how.

Always on My Mind

    24/7, always on my mind, omnipresent. This is what I strive for. I really do try very hard to live the Kung Fu lifestyle. I will freely and honestly admit I do not always live up to these ideals. In fact I fail miserably at some of them. But I try. When I fail, then I try again, and again, and again. I refuse to give up because I see the benefits of living the path set before me. 

   I procrastinate, I eat things I know are horrible for not just me but for world around me, I practice with a lack of purpose, I do not hold myself to the standard I expect of others. But worse yet I am aware I am doing this, and that is what I struggle with the most. I "do as I say and not as I do" way to much. 

   I tend to weight my actions almost in a cartoonish way, cause that is who I am. I have my two shoulder angels. On one side is the devil, his avatar changes based on the situation. He is always there telling me to quit, to give up, to eat Cheesies, to mind my own business and not get involved, to be a bad person. I don't like him but he is there. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he losses. 

   But keeping him at bay are my angels. This guiding light is a mixture of my Dad, my Wife and Master Brinker. When I am truley doing/not doing something, like giving blood, like eating healthy, like practicing with purpose, like not getting mad at someone for cutting me off in traffic,  I see them smiling at me, nodding approval. This inspires me to do "good" more often. And more often than not, I do. But once in a while I falter, but they don't condemn me for this, only guide me to do better. And for this I am grateful because it allows me to be a little better every day.

Oh Failure, Please Teach Me

    Success is built into failure. But you must look for it in every failure and you absolutely must not give up until you find it. Giving up is true failure. Learning from your failure is actually success. This is a lesson I learn over and over, cause I have a lot of failures, a lot. And each failure drives me to un-fail it. 

    Today's example is of course board breaking. I brought 13 boards to break, why 13? Well because 10 is the minimum and I don't like minimums. So everything was going great, boom bang crack smack, I'm on number 9 and Deb challenges me to do a spinning back kick. Oakey Doakey, load it up. And..... swing and a miss. I didn't even look at my target, way wide right, I may have broke wind but I did not break the board, what a let down. But wait! There is no way this is going to stop me now. Time to apply the lesson. Why did I miss? How do I not miss next time and can I repeat that correction over and over? Let's see.

   Center, breathe, stance, focus to unfocus, there is no board, only Kody's face behind the board. Go! Bang, board broken. Good, but repeat, again, again (this time in the air). I knew I know better. But in a way, I am glad I didn’t break the board the first time. It forced me reset and go back to basics. And the basics work. 

   So while not breaking the board sucked, learning from my error and correcting it was incredibly rewarding. And what will be even more satisfying will be if this lesson sticks with me, and that is up to me.

P/up  14582

S/up  14176

Spar  440

1609 km  1907.76km

Aok  549

Hand form  485

Weapon form  425 

Breaking My Mistakes

    Board breaking. Needs to be bang on or it brings the pain. I was reminded of this again this week during one of the classes. I had brought in a board in to show my fellow students, to give them a "feel" for what a regulation board looks and feels like. I was immediately asked if I would break it in front of the class. "sure", I said, why not, I've broken them before, easy peasy lemon squeezy. 

   So I spent a few minutes prepping myself, I'll do a knife hand, my fave. One, two, three, visualize, breathe, relax, I'm ready. But wait! I am asked to do a front thrust kick!! Screeeeech!!! Whoa there big fella, front thrust kick?! Well now I'm committed to do this so bring it on! But I didn't prep like I had for what I thought was going to be my knife hand. Idiot.

   So as you can guess the outcome was less than stellar. The showman in me took over, I wanted fanfare, cheering, a frenzy that I could feed off of. What I really should have wanted was quiet and stillness. So of course my first attempt was a failure. I almost missed the board. Wow, that sucked, but boy did it p@#s me off. I know better than this, I have been taught better than this. So without asking for permission, I line up everything for a proper attempt. I am going to break this board! 

   Sihing Ward looked me in the eye, got ready, I took a breath and reset EVERYTHING. There was no noise, no distraction, only me and the board. Then the board disappeared and all I saw was the space where the board had been, time to strike. Bang, success. 

   So I learned many things, most important was to cut out the showman crap. I'm here to learn Kung Fu, not build a fan base. If I am to represent myself properly, I need to act accordingly. This is a tough pill to swallow because it means I must accept my limitations, and there are many. I cannot act like the superhero that my ego thinks I am, I need to act like a practicing thoughtful Martial Arts student, here to learn not perform.

Why

    Blank. That is my mind this last week or so. A cold/flu/bug?? snuck up on me and laid me out for a couple of days. It sucked, I felt like crap but by Thursday of last week it was gone(ish) and I was mostly back to normal. I did a lot of sleeping and very little Kung Fu but it did give me a chance to review my numbers, but that actually sucked even more. 

   I have been terrible this year for recording my numbers. If I go by actual recorded numbers, it should be late May right now, yikes! What the heck happened? I found I had numerous post-it notes and scraps of paper here and there with numbers on them, but I have a wonderful little book for keeping track of everything so why did I do this to myself? I know better, or do I? 

   I know I have done more than what I have written down, but that doesn't matter, there is no proof, just best guesses. I have hesitated putting these out there because I am ashamed of my actions. I talk a good game but in the end that is all it was, talk.

So here are my recorded numbers, numbers that I took the time to write down not best guesses.

Push up 13861 recorded

Sit up  13635 recorded

Sparring 425 recorded

1609km - this one my watch records, yay! 1813.84km (lots of Dog walks)

Aok 502 recorded

Hand Form 473 recorded

Weapon Form 401 recorded

Lesson learned.

Pain and Ego

    For about one month now, my left shoulder has been just plain old wrong. I can't lift my arm above my shoulder height without sharp pains, push ups are very difficult, even putting on my seat belt is a chore. It is not healing, I know I need professional help but unfortunately in jumps Stupidman (cue lighting bolt and thunder). "I don't need help!" he shouts, "I am invincible!!".  What a maroon. Sometimes my Ego is kinda a twit, okay, most times he is a twit.

   So this last Wednesday I finally went to a physiotherapist, Karen at Risen Health. Last time I saw her it was for my hip that I was treating the same way, ignoring it and living with constant pain. Within a few weeks of her treatments the pain was gone like it was never there, only the memory of it remains. Amazing. So why have I waited so long to see her for this latest ailment? One word, Ego.

   It takes a lot for me to ask for help, that is how I am wired, old school, suck it up princess cause there are billions who have it way worse than you, suffer in silence, all the old cliques. 

   After less than an hour with her, I am diagnosed and have a plan on how to heal my pesky bicep tendon. Ta Da!!! Ask for help, receive help, start to move on. So simple yet so hard for me to do. 

   While I may be a little set in my ways, at least I am now acknowledging the problem. I do not know everything, I do not need to suffer alone, stop waiting for a mole hill to turn into a mountain - if I need hep - ask!

   I know I am aging, we all are. I know my physical well being is changing as quickly now as when I hit puberty as a teenager oh soooo many many years ago. I know I injure quicker and take longer to heal. I also know without a doubt that this will not deter me from loving and practicing my Kung Fu, I just need to be more cognisant of my actions and how they will affect both my short term and long term health. 

   So see y'all on the mats, I'll be the one in the corner with the walker - hmmm - next years IHC weapon maybe?

Funny What You See

    The more I look, the more I see the ideals and tenements of Kung Fu everywhere. Is it just me overthinking (nah, not me), because I am seeing it all over the place. Example time.

   This last weekend (Sept 23rd) Deb and I where in Banff to celebrate Deb winning a huge award from ATB. We stayed at the Banff springs hotel, amazing place. While there, I met some truly remarkable people, saw some breathtaking sights, and experienced the presence of Kung Fu repeatedly. 

   One these people that I had the pleasure of meeting was the key note speaker, David. In his speech he talked about "seeing" people and the good they do, "seeing" the effort, positivity, energy, growth, and their continuing effort to be better than they where the day before. This really struck a cord with me. It wasn't a new idea to me, we talk about in our classes frequently, but the way he presented the thought process on it was. And it made me think about how I could apply this to my Kung Fu. 

   After he was done his speech, I went over and sat with him for a bit to explore this ideal with him. The next half an hour was a great conversation. We explored many concepts on self motivation and positive encouragement. Just those three words, "I see you", that was what the conversation came down to. How to encourage someone by acknowledging them, their effort, their successes, their failures, just by letting them know that we see them and we are there for them.. It was a powerful conversation. My blog just cannot do it justice, but the thought wheel is moving and I need to see where it is going.

   Now I need to figure out how to weave this into my interactions with other students, including myself.

My Bad

    I am not giving myself enough time to reflect and blog. This blog is a prime example. My blogs have been stones skipping across a pond. No depth. Only I can change that. Yes I have lots of excuses, but that is my bad and my bad alone. I am trying to live in the moment but I am not living the moment. I will try to blog later today after I have finished beating myself up over this.

Right or Left, the Choice is Now Mine

   Am I a lefty or righty?  Apparently the line between the two has become very thin. I found this out this week when we were doing a portion of Da Mu Hsing. We were working on the  knife hand near the beginning of DMH two and the trajectory needed to engage it properly. Most (myself primarily) were misdirecting our release on this move causing our following punch to swing slightly in an arc sideways before release. 

Enter the ball. 

   It was put to us like this. Throw a ball. You can't throw a ball with a straight locked arm/wrist/shoulder and expect it to have any reasonable trajectory, it will be a dud, splat.. Now release the shoulder, the elbow, the wrist, allow the natural movements and rotations of your arm to guide the ball to your intended target. Now we are talking. Zip, right on target (ish). Now for the rub, use the other arm, you know, your NON-THROWING arm. So rightys must try being a lefty and vise versa. 

   At first I thought, uh oh, this is going to be a train wreck. But to my absolute surprise, it wasn't that bad. The first couple throws weren't pretty, but that was more mental than anything else, I expected to fail, so I did, that was on me. I adjusted my thinking to trust my instructors teachings and low and behold, suddenly after 50+ years of being a strict Lefthandarian (?), I was now feeling an awaking in my right that I hadn't noticed till exactly that moment. Wow, I love Kung Fu!

   Without me even realizing it, a balance was exerting itself within my body, left or right were becoming less separated by my arbitrary mental division. Allowing my body to move without prejudice gave me a new doorway to go through, one I didn't even know I wasn't seeing. Mind officially blown. 💣

   So now I am trying different things with my right side that I would normally do with my left, and you know what, it feels much less wrong than I thought it would. Now I am not saying I am abandoning my leftyness, I love my leftyness, but now using scissors just became so much easier.

The Blog Knows

    I was struggling this morning about what to blog about. I realized that it is because my training was almost no existent this week. All excuses aside, that is all on me. To have no thoughts to ponder about the previous weeks training proves the power of the Blog. 

   I could talk about back to school week (awesome by the way), or the potato bake (epic), but that doesn't feel right to me. My blogging allows/forces me to review my previous week and the ups and downs its brought. The blogging highlights (for me) progression and deficiency, and this week if I try to do this, it feels forced. So I won't force a self reflection and I will admit that this week was out of the ordinary for me. 

   And that is the power of the blog, because I wouldn't have realized this unless I was blogging. So "cheers" to you blog, I bow to your usefulness.

That Time of Year? Or That Time of Me

    Busy, busy, busy. Lots on the go, not enough hours in the day, etc.... That seems to be the motto right now for most, me included. And yet, I managed to take a step back, briefly, over the last while and savor what made me so busy. The idea of "where am I and what am I doing" being forefront in my mind helps me accomplish that. 

   Example 1; I'm at the Kwoon helping with Reno week, lots to do, little time to do it, but look at my teammates work, Look at them laugh with each other, look at them make connections that will last a lifetime. Magnificent!

   Example 2; I am cutting various lawns (3), I am sweaty, I am tired and sneezy, but look at those lawns. I love the look, smell and feel of a nicely cut lawn. Fulfilling!!

   Example 3; We are at the football game. The crowd is losing it, we win!! The energy of the stadium is unreal, THIS is why I have season tickets. No TV can even come close to this. Surreal!!!

   I could go on and on, but I won't except to say that Kung Fu has taught me the value of each of these life experiences, to live in the moment, to just enjoy. So I do.

The Furnace is on!?

    It's that time of year, fall is nippin at our heels. As I write this blog, it is 4c in my back yard and the furnace is on, really Mother Nature, must you so soon? That means several very important events in my Kung Fu are just around the corner. One a little farther away is the board break week, I love that week, awesomeness is everywhere. But right over the horizon is "back to school week". 

    With "B2SW (back to school week) upon me, I take that week off work so I can be fully involved in the happenings at our school. Every time I walk through that front door, every time I set foot on the mats, converse with classmates and instructors, clean, build, create, all of it, I feel it weave it's way into who I am as a martial artist. It feels (to me) as important as any requirement, as any test, can or ever will be. So I treat it as such. I drink it in, I savor, I enjoy, I work hard, I am proud to be part of Silent River Kung Fu. It has given me so much, the least I can do is give a little back.

    This is a time of year that is a looking glass for me, about half our year is done and that means about half is still to come. So I ask myself, what have I done, what have I learned, am I better than yesterday? Where do I want to go, what do I need to work on (EVERYTHING!!). While it has been a great learning year in most aspects, I realize that I have only explored the base of the mountain in front of me. The path I choose to proceed on will have challenges, of that I have no doubt, but I get goosebumps just thinking about the glorious wonder that awaits me on this journey.

Out of Whack With a Side of Stack

    For the first time in a few years, I missed my Sunday morning blog. We were of camping(wedding) and time tends to slip a little when you are not paying attention. When I finally realized why I felt "off", we were in the thick of packing and such. That made me realize I had missed out on something incredibly important to me, blogging.

   It is a release for me to blog. It helps to clear me mentally and physically. My weekly review of events highlights the highs and lows I experienced during the week. It brings me smiles and contemplation, and by missing it this last Sunday, my week faded into a fog, all of that learning possibly gone, forever. It cemented the importance of blogging to me. 

   Thankfully I am only off by one day, so I can still review the last week with some clarity, but if I had waited till after class tonight, yikes. 

   So my week, so much happened, so much I could talk about, but the standout of the week is the stacking we are doing in the Black Belt class. It is pointing every finger I have at my stances. Good, bad or ugly, there is no hiding while doing this, it is either perfect or it is a total failure. All the muscle in the world can't hide when I have screwed this up. Awesome!! Exhausting and exhilarating, that is the only way I can describe this. Without giving to much away, I will end by saying how much I am enjoying doing this. 

   There, I feel better, I have blogged, I have reviewed my week, I have enjoyed the highs (I "enjoy" the lows later), and I am ready for a new week to start. 

Positive Results

   My last post was a "just do it" post. And I have, and I am starting to reap the benefits. My plumbing issue is basically resolved, I still have odds and ends clean up and beautifying happening but the completion of this task is in sight, unless my wife adds to it 😁. 

   Then there is the Kung Fu aspect. This last week I have stopped over thinking and started "over" doing. By over doing I mean I am acting quicker and analyzing on the go instead of stopping to analyze to the point of inaction and missing valuable real life repetitions. Thursday's IHC class was a great example because of this. Sifu Hayes had us doing a sticky hands move with an outside crescent kick. Usually I would fall into inaction as I thought about how to do this, but this time I kept going until my body told me two things. I see where this is going (I think) and I have a ton of work to do till I get this right. Okay it was three things, it (my body) was exhausted. 

   As I found old habits creeping in (inaction), I would kick start my mojo and do more reps. By doing this it allowed me to find all sorts of cracks in need of repair. My left and right sides were doing two entirely different moves, my flexibility was horrible, my point of impact of my crescent kick was different with each kick, and so on. Disheartening but necessary. If I don't see what I am doing wrong I can't fix it. By doing more Kung Fu, I saw these ego traps like a neon sign screaming "fix me!".  I know these wont be quick fixes, but they will take even longer if I don't get up and do something about it.

   So I am going to do some Kung Fu now instead of taking (writing) about it.

Jack of None

    Jack of all trades, master of none. I seem live this idiom far to often. My life seems to bounce from one deficiency of skill or knowledge  to another, some minor some not so minor. My latest is plumbing, I know almost nothing about the details of proper procedures and techniques but circumstances have forced me to learn. I am extremely grateful that there is YouTube, I can't imagine attempting what I am about to do without it. Not that what I am doing is rocket science (😏) but as Master Brinker would say, "black belts need to be control freaks". And I refuse to do a bad or mediocre job on this. So research, thought and planning must go into this, now if I only had more hours in the day. 

   It is obvious to me that this of course applies to my Kung Fu. But I have found the more I analyze and research, the more I procrastinate actually taking action. So off I go to take action.

Time Domain Multiplexing

   I must admit, this concept is brilliant, to me, but it might not be for all. 

   First some context. Second degree class July 15th. Master Brinker discussing rotation, release, flow and timing (together but independent) and the six harmonies plus flow between techniques. It was an in depth discussion, so there is no way I can summarize it with any justice as to it's content. But I did take away the golden nugget of Time Domain Multiplexing (if you say this in a spooky spacey voice, it reads better, so try it). At first I was dumbfounded, then I was intrigued, now I am starting to catch what he was laying down. Kinda. I will do my best first attempt at putting it into Don Thought (again with the spooky spacey voice if you please). 

 

   Start with the six harmonies

1-hands and feet, 2-elbows and knees, 3-shoulders and hips (3 external)

4-spirit to intent, 5-intent to chi, 6-chi to power (3 internal)

   These are all independent of each other but intertwined (independently together and intermittent). They each can act on their own, do their own thing, BUT they also support each other. If you start to remove one or two or five of them, the others are affected both directly and indirectly. There is a balance that must be maintained for cohesion and flow (there is that word I keep hearing about -flow). 

   Now the multiplexing 

  So let pretend I'm in a right leading bow stance, I step forward and punch with my left hand. All six harmonies MUST align at the final release of my energy at the end of my fist for this to have any effectiveness. My skeleton must align, my fists must rotate together and the last moment, my eyes must be up, and so on, all of it builds as I move through my slide step forward and comes to a singular point of focus at the end of my fist, releasing it’s energy and starting the process all over again for the next move. If one or more of those harmonies is out of tune, things start to fall apart.

   Using my little diagram below has helped me visualize this greatly, On the left is my 6 harmonies, doing their own thing independently, then I start my technique, that’s the arrow head, funnelling (combining?not the words I want to use for now but oh well) the harmonies together, then BOOM, they combine and my technique is complete, that’s the arrow. Now the harmonies release (reset?) and await the next technique. 

   I don’t like how I have said this but it is what I have for now. I may revise this as I understand more, I will see,

                       6 harmonies     focusing of technique        release     6 harmonies

Words

    I am noticing lately how hard it is to convey thoughts using just words. Concepts that are clear as a bell in my head turn into verbal pablum when I try to express them. Prime example was after yesterday's level II brown belt class. In talking with the brown belts afterwards, I tried to express what I saw during class. What a load of babble I ended up spouting. It was actually a little upsetting to me. To top it off, during open training, I tried to explain what had been written on the white board at the back of the training hall. Wow, it felt like my brain had left the building and put drunk squirrels in charge of my mouth. Thankfully Sihing Ward was right there and he saved my absolute lack of coherency with one word (that word was "timing"). Gives me a new appreciation for the Herculean effort the instructors put in every class to try and teach us Kung Fu. My hats off to you, bravo.

   So what to do about this. I have no really useful idea. Am I over thinking, under thinking, not thinking? Am I being to deep, to shallow, to "sassy"? It definitely causes a level of anxiety in me that is an impediment to communicating clearly with my fellow Kung Fuers. I find myself hesitating now to engage in conversations in fear that I will say the exact opposite of what I mean. 

🤔🤔🤔

   After reflecting on this for a minute, I am going to treat it like any other training. Start slow, develop a base level of skill, then practice practice practice. So if you see me talking to myself in class, I'm not losing it (okay, maybe a little), I am practicing my communication skills. Today I will practice defining a Horse stance verbally, clearly and concise. No short cuts, no skipping minuet details, I will treat it the same as if I was doing it physically, just with words not motions.

Lull Nullified

    It will sound odd but this week I did my regular Kung Fu but I didn't get a chance to do my irregular Kung Fu. Let me explain. It was a very chaotic week, short staffed at work (summer holiday time), busy with summer projects at home, a shower faucet giving me grief, a demo, a family get together (golf game/BBQ), football, and so on, just plain old busy. So busy in fact that the only Kung Fu I got in was in class, and that is out of the norm for me. I usually get time during the day to put in 10 min here or there, but life got in the way repeatedly last week, and the next 2 or 3 don't look any better. I suppose I could get up earlier, but I sleep so little as it is that I feel that I would start a detrimental path that would directly affect my heath, I am lucky to sleep 5 hours a night as it is.

   I love being busy, just not all the time. I am currently finding myself in a constant state of a "what's the next disaster/dilemma/major event" mentality, and it is throwing off my rhythm. So to reset myself today, I am going outside right now to do some Tai Chi, and I am not stopping till I am done. (after proof reading and posting this of course).

   See you all in class👍

Campfire Demo

   1 practice. 1 great team. 1 great demo.  I’ll remember this one for a long time. The crowd was awesome, lots of engagement, the weather was perfect.

    I’ll admit I was EXTREMELY nervous about being the Dragon Head tonight. But thanks to my team, I personally think we did awesome. Every time I started to freak out, I would just look at my teammates and that would ground me. Such great people, makes my life so much easier. 

   Just wanted to put out a quick blog, and not just cause we were told too. This will help keep it fresh in my mind.

One for the Ages

    Canada Day Demo, July 1 2023, 11:30ish am, Stony Plain Pavilion hill - no wait - Pioneer Museum field. It's sunny, no wait, it's raining, no wait, it's both. Was that lightening? Wow, listen to that rolling thunder, awesome. There is excitement, there is a little fear, I think to myself "we best get this show on the road ASAP!". A little jog from site A (the hill) to site B (the field), now we are all together. The crowd is good, lots of kiddos (excellent). No time to warm up (the little jog over helped), we are on in 4 minutes, no 2 minutes. No time for a run through, Dragon goes here, weapons go here and Lion goes here aaaaaand, begin. 

   Lion part one looks great! Dragon has unlimited room and Todai Bauer uses it (NOW I Am Warm!!), weapons demo kicked some royal butt (in my opinion), Lion part two looks even greater!! If you haven't seen the video here is the link.

https://youtu.be/VYQ7c-1dAQw

   Adaptation and improvisation was in full force this day. And this IHC team crushed it! From the location to weather (lightening is normally pretty cool but NOT during a demo!), to the crunched time frame to weather (ya I mentioned it twice), it was epic. There were new potholes to contend with (bonus points - no one sprained anything), some slight timing issues, then my weapon started to undo during my 20 seconds of fame (yikes!), Adapt adapt adapt. But I wouldn't change it for the world. The excitement mixed with anxiety mixed with the pressure mixed with thrill of performing, you can't buy this stuff, you have to truley live it to appreciate it . And it makes you feel so alive that you wonder how you ever lived without it. 

   And then there was the last lightening strike just after we finished, Flash Bang, 1 - 2, right there! I actually felt the static electricity, OMG!! If that didn't get your heart pumping, nothing will! "Wow" is all I can say. Nothing like a little life affirming terror to end your demo, cool beans. 

   Now to try and top this one, without the lightening if you please.😁

Missed Comments - Time Zones

    I want to apologize to those who have commented on my blogs and never got any type of response from me. I never realized there where even comments there until today, I never thought to look. My bad for not using this platform properly, I will adjust my settings (hopefully correctly) so I see the comments. I'm not really a computer guy so this will be an adjustment for me as well as I usually stay away from our laptop unless I absolutely need to be on it. And because of this I have missed some real gems, So consider this a blanket response, thank you for your comments. Again, my bad for under using this platform.

   17 to 20 seconds. Demo for Canada Day. Find my favorite part of my weapon form and make it fit in this time frame. Sounds easy enough. But for some reason, every time I do the form, it morphs a little here or there. I have some moves I really like BUT, they are separate from each other and other moves connect them. By condensing the time, I am forcing some move together that don't belong with each other. It is proving to be challenging, and fun. Luckily I have all this week off work so I can work work work on this until I have a final product that not only fits the time constraints but looks wicked and mean.

Acceptance

    I am having a hard time accepting that I am getting old. My body and my mind battle constantly over this. My mind says "just do it!", then my body answers back "take that old man!". One week my knee is sore, next week my back, this week it is my wrist and shoulder, constant and persistent, never ending, aggravating. How I miss youth and the ability to bounce back like it never happened. We all get older, nothing can stop it, so I need to stop complaining about what hurts and focus on what doesn't, like right now, my earlobes feel great.

   I just read a book by Ray Bradbury called Dandelion Wine. It was a great read, I highly recommend it for those who like to contemplate life and death. It helped me with my thoughts on these subjects, with acceptance as to who I am and what I am doing to myself as I age. Legacy, family, savoring life, all richly painted in this book. 

   So I will listen to those who wish to give me their sage advice, my Doctor, my Wife, my Mother, my Instructors, their wisdom is golden. This is not to say I am retiring to the front porch and a squeaky rocking chair, no chance there, no way no how. It just means a kind of armistice between my two opposing personalities till I can "just do it" without the "take that old man", a warm happy place where pain is kept at bay. 

   Well thanks for hearing me out, be good.

P.s  I miss all the discussions about smoothies. I didn't pay a whole bunch of attention to it while it was there but now that it has disappeared, I miss it, Reason I say this, I could used a few suggestions for inflammation and blood pressure. Your knowledge means so much more to me than the online gibberish that just wants to sell me their "stuff".

Separate but Connected

    Tai Chi. Mlong Kuen, Two Kung Fu forms I am learning. Lots of similarities, lots of differences. I hadn't realized that one was trying to impose itself on the other. Thanks to a little question here, a little self reflection there, and some expert advice, AHA, now I can see and feel the separation I need to make both achieve their intended purpose (I still have years/decades of practice to do though!!). 

   At the beginning of Mlong Kuen, we do a double arm "uppercut" with an "stretched" stance. In Tai Chi part 3 near the end, we do a hop/turn double arm temple punch. Similar but very different. In Wednesday's Tai Chi class, this move felt too aggressive to me, to "shouldery", for some reason. Thanks to an insight by Sihing Burke, a bulb came to life in my noggin. She mentioned the whole Mlong Kuen move thing. And then I saw it. I was doing the Mlong Kuen stance with the Tai Chi double arm temple punch. And I was aggressively snapping my wrists, over-reaching my center, trying to compensate/correct for the incorrect stance. While the combination of the two felt powerful, I knew it was out of place in my Tai Chi. By correcting this grievous error I was making, the move fell back into place, making the next moves reconnect with the intent and flow that thousands of years of design was meant to be there. Then Sifu Dennis confirmed this, cementing it in my mind. 

   And now I am looking at other forms, to see if this is isolated (not!) or a reoccurring theme. I am hoping for the best but planning for an awful lot of work, cause I suspect I know the answer already. 

P.S. hopefully I spelled Mlong Kuen correctly, I forgot that messages disappeared after seven days since the last time I had asked. My bad.

So Many First Times

    Farmers Day parade June 3 2023. It was so cool to be a part of this. I witnessed so many firsts for my fellow Kung Fu'ers and experienced a few myself as well. First, Todia Mike Kohut, your creativity never ceases to leave me in awe, you rock sir. Todai Kat Thelwall, your first lion dance, really? You did amazing. You are now a veteran, welcome. Young Todia Wolschlager on the gong, way to go young man! Young Todai Hoffman, future Buddha maybe?? Ran with the Lion like you meant it, sweet moves! So many first for so many, great day. 

   My first revelation (?) was with my weapon. Not a walking in a parade with a crowd of people weapon. I was constantly shoulder checking, thinking about the pointy end and where it was pointing. A couple of time I accidentally stabbed the pavement with it, whoops. I wanted to swing it around and show it off a little but there were way too many ways that could have gone very wrong. Next year, something small, dull but fun, suggestions? 

   Another first was the demo after. I accidentally(?😏) buried the tip of my Tiger Fork in the ground on my very first move, neat, squishy. But this totally messed up my next move cause I was still grinning from stabbing the ground. As well I had made the choice to go barefoot for my demo because the ground was too tempting not to run my toes through it. I had the foresight to do a broken glass check before hand but left the twigs where they lay. Oops. Halfway into my form, my toes picked up a twig making it look like my toes were having a smoke 😅. Again I lost focus, grinning like a fool but soaking in every moment, lovin it. Would I go back and change this goofy series of events, absolutely not!!

  So to sum it up, great day, great opportunity, great experience.

The Old Grey Stallion

    Yesterday was such a fantastic opportunity. I saw smiles everywhere. I also saw some frowns but that is part of learning, right?  I got to watch so many fellow students strut their stuff. Hats off to you all, awesome job. 

   Now me. My day has two very distinct halves. The morning was the smile part. Starts with a awesome Lion dance (great Job you two!). Then I had the honor of being a judge. OMG! I had no idea how stressful this was going to be, but what a learning experience! Not only did I have the best seat in the house, front row center(ish), but I saw so many "eye for detail" moments. Heel down, intent, confidence, stances, all right there in front of me. I had so many aha moments I was dizzy! This was a smorgasbord of learning opportunities. That three hours(ish) have given be years of material to work on. It also gave me the chance afterwards to talk with a couple of students and offer them a little positive nudge on how well they did. I am very great-full for the chance of a lifetime to be allowed to take part in the judging. 

  Then it was my turn. All excuses aside, I wish I had a time machine, but I don't. Everything I thought I had learned from the morning was but a fog in a distant part of my mind. No focus, no eye for detail, no control. All the confidence/competence I thought I had turned to mush, ego took over and out came the ugly. I was burning with annoyance at myself. I could say I gave it my best, but that would be a flat out lie.

   Then the pop. Three steps into the obstacle course, my right calf let loose. Snap crackle pop, something let go and I was done. I guess I wanted to join the cane club instead of finishing my day. I missed the obstacle course and the pool noodle sword fight, and this burned like a nuclear explosion in me. I was ready to scream! I would say that I am over it this morning but I am not. I am hoping for just a pulled muscle, if I am lucky. 

   So now I am looking at my ego. The good, the bad and the ugly of it. Why did this day go the way it did? I need to look inward and find some answers. Not excuses but answers. I can come up with an excuse for every error I made, but that is not what Kung Fu and Mastery are about. 

   So this morning I contemplate, I look at me, am I an old Stallion that should be put out to pasture or is there still a little Mustang left in me, ready to kick and run and savor life. Time to find out.

Moments

 Life is full of moments, blink and they are gone, so enjoy them, remember them, cherish them.

                                                        Kody and Dana grad 2023

                                                          Deb and Daughter, Grand Daughter

                                  Grandma's (Deb) new planting table, signed by her family

   This weekend has been stuffed full priceless memories. It makes me understand why it is so important to live in the moment. To savor, to enjoy, to make the best of any situation. To stop living on the sidelines and get into the game. 

   Next weekend is the Tiger Challenge, I will apply the momentum of this weekend to that day. Sparring, forms, pool noodle, obstacle course, all of it. I will be a sponge, I will live every moment, taking it all in. So if you see me standing there grinning like a bit of a fool, just know I am enjoying myself to the fullest.

A Plethora of Kung Fu

    Where to even start. There seems to have been more Kung Fu moments this week than in recent times. Every class had it's moments, to recap them all this would be a loooong blog, so I'll choose a few of the most memorable ones. 

   Tai Chi, linear vectors with maintaining cohesion. I noticed I was starting to sway side to side when transitioning between moves. With a little tap in the right direction from Sihing Brinker, sway gone, vectors corrected, feels much better. It was my foot placement, to wide, simple fix. 

   Grappling in the level one classes.  While working with one of the level ones, I realized he was extremely uncomfortable with the contact that goes along with some of the moves. Quick fix was to get him to mirror me off to the side with no contact. Bingo! Worked for him and for me. Felt good to find a solution like that and help both him and me learn.

   IHC class, you were there, you know how much fun that was. Those team push ups, OMG!! Parachute, never done that before, seen the kids do it many times but never got to experience the team work required to make it work, cooool!! Then the "demo", sliding one form into the next like that, brilliant!! I have chills just reviewing it in my mind.

   Then there is open training. If you were there, you know how great it was. I even went outside my comfort zone and did some sparring. I got schooled! I loved it!! What more can I say. 

   So to recap, what a week, Kung Fu was everywhere all the time. It was a constant companion journeying with me and helped to put an extra shine on the entire week. Thank you.

My Way, Probably Not

    Stressors. Life is full of them. Work, relationships, money, time, training, social media, so many hooks dug into you pulling you in directions you don't want to go. So hard to ignore, pulling you from the path you want to be on. Sometimes fighting back to claim the real you is the biggest hook of all. 

   We have a motto in our Kung Fu, where am I and what am I doing? It is a great grounding technique if used properly. But how to use it? Well, I am right at this moment I am writing a blog, using this technique to help me focus on the direction I want my day to go. I know there will be multiple hooks pulling me in directions I may not want to go but... I am going to add a little "Don" to this and that is, does it serve me?

   Yes my life and time are not just my own. A father, a husband, a son, an employee, a martial artist, a citizen, these all carry a certain level of responsibility with them. With each of these comes a level of commitment I am not willing to ignore. But at what point do I get to say "what about me!?". This is my conflict right at this moment. What I want to do and what I am willing or allowed to do seem oceans apart. 

   I just wanted to share this, not meant to negative, just using it s a sounding board for myself and how my mind can sometimes be the biggest hurdle in my progression and pursuit of Mastery.

Fun, Why Yes it is.

    I asked someone a simple question about their Kung Fu, "are you enjoying yourself?". The more I think about this, the more I look at my Kung Fu journey. If I ask myself the same question, I get the same answer, "of course I am silly, or we wouldn't be doing this". I wouldn't be putting myself out there if I wasn't. Yes, some of the "stressors" can  be limiting, or are they? Let's pick on the Tiger Challenge for now. 

    Performing in front of a crowd can still be crippling for me. I can feel my heart race, my blood pressure soar, my vision tunnel, my hands sweat, all the good stuff. So why in the heck do I do it?! Because of the purpose before the event and the reward afterwards. I am not talking about a medal or praise or non-praise, I am talking about my sense of accomplishment. I did it, I made it, I gave it my best, here I am like it or not. It is euphoric. It is a natural high that makes everything a bit shinier, it brings my training into focus. 

   Before Kung Fu, I would never have allowed myself to ever be in a situation like the Tiger Challenge. Never would I have gone in front of a crowd solo, ever, EVER! Now I don't hesitate (okay maybe a tiny little bit). The sure terror of being at the center of attention is gone. I now realize that this is also a part of my training. Not just self-confidence but self-awareness. Being able to remain calm(ish) when the situation demands it. Being able to focus on the task in front of me. This did not exist before my Kung Fu journey started. Hide, be quiet, go unnoticed. That was my way. Not no more (bad grammar - deal with it!). Bring on the Tiger Challenge, it feeds me, it enables me to grow as not just a Martial Artist but as a person (same thing!!).   

   So am I having fun, absolutely! And I will continue to do so for a very long time. Kung Fu is woven into who I am now, it is a Gordian knot that I will forever work to unravel, exploring new paths and concepts till my time is done. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Your Training is My Training

    First off, April 22 2023 Earth day clean up at Rotary park. What a turn out! Thank you to all who took the time to show up and do their part for our great Mother Earth. Best turn out in years proving that many hands make light work. Again, you have my thanks.

   So back to my topic of this week's blog. Thursday's optional class for the IHC. 

   It was a decent turn out, so much so that I had no room to practice my weapon form expansively. Therefor I migrated to the back of the training hall to give others more room and that is where I found the gold. Two of my fellow Kung Fu'ers were back there practicing, we engaged in conversation and a great mutual practice began. Some Lao Gar and Da Mu Hsing ensued and low and behold, thoughts turned into questions then into actions then into Kung Fu. Next thing I knew, I was covered in sweat and it was time to go home. Awesomeness.

    I think that for myself, this was exactly what I needed. Practice with a purpose. Instead of aimlessly practicing this or that, we focused on some key fundamentals, things I don't go out of my way to purposely work on very much. And by doing this, it opened some avenues of thought for me. Stances, rotation, centering, eyes and the ever watching presence of the "eye for detail". All great things to work on, all necessary to keep fresh all the time. By working on these with them, their training became my training, how great is that! 

   It is so easy to see sometimes how being engaged is a piece of cake. As Master Brinker would say," it's just Kung Fu". How true.

Pass it on

    I have talked about open training before, many times. Today will be no different. Yesterday's open training was another gem. While I got almost no "Me" training in, I did get to spend a large chunk of the time interacting with the many children there. It was truly heart warming to see their interest in what they are actually doing. One student in particular (Rice?), occupied a good portion of my time. It amazed me some of the questions he had, from what the uniform and belts and stripes represent to certain moves in stick 2. It was all over the map, I hope hope hope he got out of it what I did. I could see his mind was taking everything in, he was a sponge. 

   This interaction between him and I really made me feel connected to the Kwoon. Here is a student just beginning his journey, passing on knowledge to another student who is also just beginning his journey. By interacting with him, I was learning as well as him, learning through teaching. This was a golden moment, purely golden. Humbling.

   So while I didn't getting in the training I had planned, the training I got was immeasurably more valuable. Open training, priceless.

New Pains, Old Pains

 Maybe it’s the new medication that I am on, maybe I am over working my joints, maybe I am just getting old😁. I have a little saying I use, “my roving ball of pain”. It seems to venture around my body, one day it’s my knees, next day my shoulders, some days all of the above. I adapt, I change my routine, I try to work with it and not against it. Right now as I write this blog it is sleeping, content to let me be for a while. Sweet, I am enjoying the moment, no obvious pain. 

One thing I am really working on is transitions. To be able to flow from one move to the next while still executing the current technique. Hung 1 into Hung 2, the more I do it the more I find new ways to fail. One time I am hopping from 1 to 2, the next time I’m not but I have no center, this transition is a fun one to work on, good stuff. Time for a one on one to get some professional advice  

It's Been a While

   For the first time in quite a while, I don't know what to blog about. I have been training, I am still engaged. But it is just a muddle of thoughts and ideas up in my noggin. I'm working on flow, I'm getting my reps in, I'm tweaking my weapon form, I am doing Kung Fu every day, it's just that just nothing really jumps out and says "blog about me". Is it mediocrity? Is it lack of intent? Is it too much on my plate and I am not focusing on specifics? Dunno. 

   So instead of throwing together a disingenuous blog about nothing in particular, I will just continue to do the Fu every day, I'm sure my next AhA is just around the corner.

Beta Then Some

    Thursay Mar 23,2023, Beta version for our weapon form was due for the IHC. What an amazing night that was! Such a diversity of weapons, so much creativity, wow. This is year five for me in the IHC and I am more excited that ever about the year ahead. Once we get a demo put together, Kaboom!! I am so stoked. 

   Now that I have a beta version of my form, time to tweak. I noticed many many things in my beta that I need to fix, NOW! Somehow while doing my demo, I forgot I had feet. My arms were moving, my Tiger Fork was swinging and stabbing, but my legs/hips/feet stayed home that night. And boy did I feel it. At one point I thought my weapon was going to rip my arm off. It took a mighty heave-ho to get it moving again, that is supposed to be my hips job, jerks. Ouch. Felt that Friday, that's for sure. 

   Now that I have a "plan" I need to figure out what went wrong and what went right. Oh ya, and figure out what happened to the rest of my limbs and joints. I need all six harmonies to do this right, not two and a quarter. Needless to say, I am excited. A new weapon is a mystery wrapped in an puzzle hidden in plain site.

Balance

    I can see what I want to do, I can think about how to do it, I can visualize it in my mind, I see it is possible to do by watching other people achieve my objective, so why can't I convince myself to do it? That is a tough one to swallow. Is it my spirit, my intent, my dedication to mastery, my ego, am I just dabbling instead of taking positive consistent action? 

   I am asking some tough questions of myself lately. I feel like I am standing on the first step of a divergence in my martial arts training and lifestyle. To often I am given golden nuggets of advice that I don't take to heart. I just acknowledge them and move on. Excuse after excuse pull me away from what I know will benefit me emencly. And this is nothing new in my life, I have a history of doing this. And now I have a significant genetic/lifestyle health issue that has forced it's way into the equation. 

   The "superman" ideal that I have lived by for the past fifty-two years has not served me as well as I thought it had. Ego and complacency have not served me well either. I need to take control now because later is sooner than I thought. And that scares the crap out of me.

   This is my boat to steer, I am in charge of my own problems. I will and have started making the changes that I need to. I have consulted my physician, I have started to amass more and more information as to the changes I need to make, now to stop dragging my feet and wake up.

   As I finish this abbreviated blog, I am going to take the dog for a walk and enjoy the beautiful morning that Mother Nature has blessed me with. Savor, enjoy, balance, repeat. 

https://guidelines.hypertension.ca/prevention-treatment/health-behaviour-management/

 

 

Perfection in the Imperfection

    Hand form, weapon form, daily training, regular classes. Every so often in the midst of one of these appears an moment of ahhh. Maybe it is something I am struggling with, maybe something I thought I knew but turns out we were just familiar with each other. 

   Yesterday (Sat) I was working on my Beta form for my Tiger Fork and I experienced one of those moments. It was an unintended move, it just happen because I was letting the weapon "lead" my motions. Single handed articulation to two handed helicopter to single handed articulation to an unintended double wrist roll. Felt natural, easy, like it was meant to be there, nice. 

   But when I tried to recreate it, it felt forced. The moment was gone. But now I know that that move is in there, hiding in plain site, waiting for me to find it again to allow me to own it. Exciting. 

   This leads me to wondering what other moves are in there waiting to be discovered. Today I will explore some more, seeing what road my Fork leads me down. Move over Dora, I'm Don the Explorer.

Finish Then Flow

    We were working on flowing through our form this week, and I will admit, I struggled. It seemed the more I flowed the less I finished my moves. It is such a fine line for me to deliver a technique properly while not making my form look "chunky". In my minds eye I can see what I want to do, and there are examples all around me of fellow students doing it, it is just getting my body to listen. 

   I think the best tool/concept I received this week was the foot work lesson from Sifu Hayes in the IHC class on Thursday. Just that small adjustment of the lead foot allows flow in ways that are now painfully obvious to me. I am now applying it throughout my forms and the edges of flow and power seem to be finally working together instead of staring at each other from across the room (more of a harmony than a solo).

 

 

   Open training, what can I say other that wow! Another great turn out, lets keep that going! I really feel like there was some great connections made between so many students. I myself had the opportunity to  interact with several people, and it was incredibly fulfilling to me. The "walls" that some people have seem like they are finally starting to fall, people going out of their comfort zone and asking questions, it was a privilege to be involved.

Examine and Explain and Then Feast

      Why/how does this move do what it does? 

   That has been my objective this past while, to ask that question of myself while practicing my forms, simple right? Not!!

   The ideas and questions being floated about by fellow students (you know who you are) have opened up trains of thought that I didn't even know existed. Their eye for detail is obviously much more attuned to their Kung Fu than mine is. What I just normally feel as "right", they ask questions about in ways I usually don't even consider, like foot placement, opening of the hips, transitions of power and flow, etc. Amazing! And the answers being given are opening up entirely new concepts and avenues of understanding, not that I DO understand them, yet. 

   Trying to apply these concepts has been both frustrating and incredibly rewarding. I have had more than a few AHA moments this past while, and every time I have one, it makes me hungry for the next one. I just wish there was more time in the day to explore more, but there isn't, so I must utilize my time more efficiently to feast on more of these golden nuggets of knowledge. 

   All this goes back to something Sihing Cosgrove said to my wife just after she got her Black Belt a while ago, "welcome to the new white belt". This couldn't have been more true. There is still so much to learn, it is infinite. And just when I think I understand one of these concepts, bam, something new comes up that compliments this knowledge with not just a cherry on top but a whole smorgasbord full of individual trays with every type of self exploration that you could imaging, all waiting to be savored and mixed together to make a new you. 

   So I must constantly feast on the well of knowledge available to me, there is no end to it. I have my plate out, I am ready, "please sir, my I have some more?".

 

 

I think I was hungry when I wrote this blog, lots of food references.😏

  

Tough To Share

I am sitting here this morning trying to decide what I want to blog about. I actually have several things on my mind and a bunch of things I am working on, but I really don't feel like blogging about any of it. Sometimes, like now, I just don't feel like sharing. This isn't meant to sound dark or foreboding, I just don't want to put out something negative when it really isn't, it's just "in progress". I am trying my hardest to turn a dark or negative "whatever" into something that isn't. This is just my squishy monkey brain over thinking things that have either been said to me personally or unjustified criticisms that I have witnessed others receive. It is also about my actions over the past while, I have noticed a disturbing trend in my thoughts towards others, and that has to stop. 

Maybe I am being too sensitive or critical, maybe not, that is what I am going to have to figure out on my own. Everyone is allowed to have an opinion, I just want mine to be a positive one, not dictated by others who are trying to impose themselves on me. 

So I am going to go lose myself in some Tai Chi and physical activity, enjoy being in the moment, as this usually seems to guide me through my thoughts.

Sorry for the miserable blog, just wanted to share about not sharing.

  

Classes With Benefits

    I've always enjoyed helping out in the other classes. With the knowledge shared, the connections with other students made, the practice of my abilities, all pure bonuses to my training. Then there is seeing when a fellow student has an "aha" moment, whether they are remembering something someone else has told them or it was something I have said or done, it is an awesome sight and feeling. While I may not be able get to all the classes, the ones I do attend are always special. One of them this week gave ME an aha moment.

   Eyes, it was all about the eyes and being in the moment. The level II class was doing forms and I was at the back of the Kwoon observing, and then it happened. A student was doing their form, looking good, and then they made eye contact with me, and the next few moves they made fell of the rail. 

   No ones fault, I was just there, in their line of sight, I wasn't moving or doing anything distracting, but that momentary eye contact pulled them out of the moment. I felt bad but suddenly I got something that was said to me a while ago (maybe two years ago?) about me making eye contact when doing my forms. I never really understood the significance of that until that exact moment. Boom! I saw what the Sifu meant. now My aha moment, years after a nugget of knowledge was passed onto me, suddenly opened up inside me. Cool. Now to nurture that nugget of pure gold and integrate it into my Kung Fu and my forms. 

   And this all happened during someone else's class, just by being there to help out. I love getting that type of indirect knowledge, it just sneaks up on you and yells "surprise!!". Made me smack my forehead (internally) and say "duh Don", awesome. 

   Thank you to the instructors for making this possible, obviously one class a week is nowhere near enough time for me to learn Kung Fu because there is so much to learn, whether it is directly or indirectly. I'll try to be the best sponge I can be, soaking up all the awesome "universe juice"  I can get. 

Compadre

       Starting to find my way, that is how I would describe the feeling of this week. Tough to describe it in words so I won't, but it feels good.

   I would have to say that one of the highlights of the week was open training yesterday. OMG! This was fantastic. I lost count after twenty-five people. The energy, the sweat, weapons everywhere, sparring, grappling, young and not so young. I haven't seen this on a Saturday in years. Sure I didn't get much opportunity to swing my big weapon around, small price to pay to see that level of engagement from so many people. I truley do hope this is a sign of things to come, lets keep this momentum going my fellow Kung Fu'ers. 

   On the topic of my new weapon, the Tiger Fork. She is a bit of a ornery beast. The videos I have been watching have talked a lot about gravity and how to use it to my advantage. After swinging this beauty around a bit, I can see why. It does not change direction easily or willingly. My shoulders remind me of this every time I try to muscle it to my will. Letting it "fall' or "swing" into a move is interesting. I must merge my control with the weapon and gravity and momentum, a strange set of compadres for me, that is for sure. Working together will be fun. Two of these four (gravity, momentum), are old friends, two are strangers to this new quartet (weapon and me). Again, working together will be fun.

Adjustments

   One week in, and it is starting to come into focus. My routine that is. Mornings are pretty much the same, with a tweak here and there as my Kung Fu progresses. Evenings though, I am still finding my "place". 

   December and January evening schedules were; Monday 6:30-7:30 help out with the level one class then my class (level two) from 7:30-8:30, plus an hour(ish) of Dragon dance practice. Tuesday was reset and practice what we did on Monday( about an hours worth at home). Wednesday; 5:30-6:30 Tai Chi, 6:30-7:30 help out with the level one class, then my class (level two) from 7:30-8:30, then an hour(ish) of Dragon dance practice (four hours on Wed), Thursday IHC from 7:30-8:30, Saturday one to two hours at the Kwoon getting ready for the banquet, Sundays back to the Kwoon for an hour of five techniques practice. It was a blur of activity, I felt like I was constantly wound up with very little down time, and the down time I did have was basically mental shutdown to gather myself (some might call it meditation, I think that insults true meditation). 

   I am not complaining!! I am reminiscing. It was an amazing stretch of time. The things I learned , the friendships I made, the excitement of what was to come, how will I ever top that?! I can't. I will always fondly remember this time, it was spectacular.

   Master Brinker talks about how we should maintain a level of consistency/sustainability throughout our Kung Fu career. So with a little adjustment here and a tweak there, this should start to take shape very quickly for me. As I had said at the beginning, my mornings haven't changed very much over the years, an addition here, a subtraction there, but overall pretty consistent. It is my after work and weekends I need to figure out.

   Yes my evenings are now different, but my goals haven't changed (much), to learn Kung Fu. The physical activity I am not getting in class, I must do outside of class. My intent and intensity are mine to manage on my own, so I will. 

   I am excited for this next stage of my learning, as Sihing Cosgrove said "welcome to the new white belt". Sweet, bring it on!

The Day After and After

    Wow. What a day. Where to even start? I guess the best for me personally would just be a timeline of the day so I can look back years down the road and remember the finer details.

   Up at 3:36am, I'm wide awake, I know it is almost 5 hours till we need to meet at the Kwoon to load up, so I go down for a coffee and enjoy the quiet time to reflect on what is to come and what has already past. It was nice, it calmed me considerably, and it gave me a chance to review and edit my speech without interruption.

   6:15am, start waking family, time to start getting ready for the day. Now that the house is awake I can start packing the stuff needed for the day without trying to be quiet. 

   8:15am, I am the first one at the Kwoon, the day has officially begun. everyone starts to arrive, game on. Dragons get loaded, lions, drum, kid's demo stuff, all the stuff we need. Off to the hall. It is a whirlwind of activity. Tables, stage, silent auction, chairs, place settings, bunny rabbit napkin origami, getting kitchen ready, so much going on, it is a beehive of activity, awesome, what a team, it almost brings me to tears watching how well everyone gets along and just jumps to it, everyone doing their bit. Team Tiger, you rock.

   12:00am, first practice. a bit of chaos ensues, not everyone was ready for practice. Not everyone was there yet. I had forgot to bring my practice knife (grrrr on me), a little more crazy than it needed to be, oh well, we needed our first bump of the day, here it was. A few deep breaths, we ease into our practice, finally getting to try out out spacing and limitations for real. The stage feels HUGE, the Dragon dance area seems to have shrunk. Adjust, retry, adjust, retry, starting to come together. Second run through, much better, we are figuring thinks out. 

   Just after 1pm. Now time for a bit of food and resetting of the mind. Off to Tutti Fruity for some chow with my family, then home to put the final touches on my old bones (quick relax, shower, go). 

   Back at the hall by 3:45ish, next practice. We are looking better, things are starting to make sense. Now people are starting to arrive (4:45ish). I do a double check, knife - check, uniform - check, speech - check, family - check, all is good. I take a walk around, see if I am needed anywhere, nope, everything is running smoothly. Let the games begin. 

   5:30ish, food time, thank you Mayor William Choy for the tasties from Bing's #1. But I can't eat, my belly is doing flips and dives, the dragons/lion dance is about to begin, show time. Yes I made a few errors, but my team pulled my butt out of the fire, adapting on the fly. The edge of the stage in the way?, no problem, they adapt, the walls to close, they adapt, I go six times on our side to side instead of five, they adapt (Malinda, your look of surprise is burned in my memory!). Team D, I am humbled, thank you.

   Red Packets are getting collected, that means my time to do my speech is just moments away, YIKES! Time is now a blur. I am at the point of hyperventilating, my mouth is dry, my palms are sweaty, I could swear my blood pressure was going to make my head pop off. It's speech time. Double Yikes!! Up I go, this stage is huge, the mike feels like it weighs 70lbs, the audience has just doubled in size and they are looking at ME!! Stop looking at ME!! (Que internal screaming). Deep breath, and away I go. The page is shaking, the words look microscopic, dizzy, dancing side to side (do I have to pee? Nope). Word by word I gain momentum, it starts to come back to me, but the mike is to far away, bang, now it is to close. calm down, look at your family to center yourself, great, Deb's crying, now I'm almost crying. What the??. I'm on the last page, how did that happen? Annnnnd done. Wow, euphoria to the extreme. I have to say that was one wild ride I will never forget. And I am so glad I did it, I crushed that fear of public speaking! Okay okay, it slapped me around and had laughed in my face, but I didn't quit, I didn't back down, take that public speaking, I'm not afraid of you anymore!!😆

   From here on the night is mostly a blur, awards, kid's demo, etc, I'm kinda out of it, my mind is overloaded, I need to reset. Up very soon is our IHC demo. Oh my. Got my knife, got my partner, found the stage, ready, I think. Music starts, I'm up second, now I'm up, uh oh, I just messed up the third section of my form, pull up pull up, I manage to carry on without crashing but I am P-ss-d at myself, grr, "just wait till you get home young man".  Now off the stage, pause, back on for the five application. Thanks to Toudia Bauer, I make it through with only minor glitches, he is a great partner. These helped me get back to the here and now. It was like the hall just snapped back into existence. 

   Now the demo is over and I breathe, and breathe and breathe. I start to feel the world around me again, I made it. I didn't die, I didn't crash and burn, like a tidal wave, the emotions start to overwhelm me. But I hold it together, it's not over yet. 

   Now back to the stage to actually get my Black Belt. Chills. Chills run up and down my spine. Is this real? Am I actually walking up these steps? Breathe Don, Breathe. Never in my life have I felt like this. It is surreal. A quick huddle, we take our spots, kneel and take it all in. It's my turn, no words can recreate what I was feeling at that moment so I won't ever try. Now I take my belt, it feels electric, magical, soft as silk but hard as steel. I tie it on, waves pass through me, even trying to put this in a blog, I feel like I am in a dream. I have my belt, it is around my waist, it is mine. Time to thank all those who came before me, I can still see every face, I can still feel every hug, every handshake. Perfection.

    I just wanted to put into words, best as I can, just some of the emotions that I was feeling that night. This just scratches the surface of the night, as I process my thoughts, I may write more.

Thanks for reading this.

Happy Water Rabbit New Year!!

    Lots to do today so I just wanted to wish everyone a happy new year. As I begin a new year, I look at my requirements with a renewed hunger, as I usually do at the beginning of the year. As Sifu Brinker would say, everything we need to succeed is in those requirements, and this being my fifth year in the IHC, I solidly believe that. One of my biggest problems is momentum, starts super high, then falters a little then back up then down and so on. 

   This year I am really going to push myself for much more consistency. I think the easiest was to do this is take a page from the book of Ferris/Bauer, post my numbers!! Last year I didn't even do this once (I am hanging my head in shame right now). I was hiding under that clear rock, embarrassed by my numbers, and that is on me. Such an easy fix but no so easy to do, putting myself out there like that, but I hope the team will help keep me accountable. 

   So off to do some push up, sit ups, shadow sparring, Lao Gar, take the dog for a hike, and read Mastery, so in other words, some Kung Fu (hard work).

Looking forward to meeting this years team, Go Team Rabbit!!

I am working on a little project, the 24 pictures on the Kwoon's wall. I will start with a quick attachment here, please feel free to add, correct, make comment, whatever, these are up there for a reason, let's find out why.

Pictures on the training hall wall in order on the wall

Jhoon Goo Rhee 1932-2018 

Tadashi Yamashita 1941- 

Angi Ueza 1935- 

Dave Kovar ?? 

Ron Balicki 1963- Married to Diana Lee Inosanto 

Morihei Ueshiba 1883-1969 

Ip Man 1893-1972 

Seishiro “ Henry “ Okazaki 1890-1951 

Benny Urquidez 1952 

Chotoku kyan 1870-1945 

Diana Lee Inosanto 1966 Married to Ron Balicki 

Soke Dave Mcneill ?? 

Ron Van Clief 1943 

Gichin Funakoshi 1868-1957 

Masatoshi Nakayama 1913-1987 

Daniel Area “ Dan “ Inosanto 1936 

Mitsuyo Maeda 1878-1941 

Joe Lewis 1944-2012 

Thich Nhat Hanh 1926 -2021 

Jigoro Kano 1860-1938 Founder of Judo?

Mutobu Choki 1870-1944 

Chojun Miyagi 1888-1953 

Keiko Fukuda 1913-2013 

Gogen Yamaguchi 1909-1989 Student of Chojun Miyag