Sunday, October 22, 2023

Breaking My Mistakes

    Board breaking. Needs to be bang on or it brings the pain. I was reminded of this again this week during one of the classes. I had brought in a board in to show my fellow students, to give them a "feel" for what a regulation board looks and feels like. I was immediately asked if I would break it in front of the class. "sure", I said, why not, I've broken them before, easy peasy lemon squeezy. 

   So I spent a few minutes prepping myself, I'll do a knife hand, my fave. One, two, three, visualize, breathe, relax, I'm ready. But wait! I am asked to do a front thrust kick!! Screeeeech!!! Whoa there big fella, front thrust kick?! Well now I'm committed to do this so bring it on! But I didn't prep like I had for what I thought was going to be my knife hand. Idiot.

   So as you can guess the outcome was less than stellar. The showman in me took over, I wanted fanfare, cheering, a frenzy that I could feed off of. What I really should have wanted was quiet and stillness. So of course my first attempt was a failure. I almost missed the board. Wow, that sucked, but boy did it p@#s me off. I know better than this, I have been taught better than this. So without asking for permission, I line up everything for a proper attempt. I am going to break this board! 

   Sihing Ward looked me in the eye, got ready, I took a breath and reset EVERYTHING. There was no noise, no distraction, only me and the board. Then the board disappeared and all I saw was the space where the board had been, time to strike. Bang, success. 

   So I learned many things, most important was to cut out the showman crap. I'm here to learn Kung Fu, not build a fan base. If I am to represent myself properly, I need to act accordingly. This is a tough pill to swallow because it means I must accept my limitations, and there are many. I cannot act like the superhero that my ego thinks I am, I need to act like a practicing thoughtful Martial Arts student, here to learn not perform.

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