Always on My Mind

    24/7, always on my mind, omnipresent. This is what I strive for. I really do try very hard to live the Kung Fu lifestyle. I will freely and honestly admit I do not always live up to these ideals. In fact I fail miserably at some of them. But I try. When I fail, then I try again, and again, and again. I refuse to give up because I see the benefits of living the path set before me. 

   I procrastinate, I eat things I know are horrible for not just me but for world around me, I practice with a lack of purpose, I do not hold myself to the standard I expect of others. But worse yet I am aware I am doing this, and that is what I struggle with the most. I "do as I say and not as I do" way to much. 

   I tend to weight my actions almost in a cartoonish way, cause that is who I am. I have my two shoulder angels. On one side is the devil, his avatar changes based on the situation. He is always there telling me to quit, to give up, to eat Cheesies, to mind my own business and not get involved, to be a bad person. I don't like him but he is there. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he losses. 

   But keeping him at bay are my angels. This guiding light is a mixture of my Dad, my Wife and Master Brinker. When I am truley doing/not doing something, like giving blood, like eating healthy, like practicing with purpose, like not getting mad at someone for cutting me off in traffic,  I see them smiling at me, nodding approval. This inspires me to do "good" more often. And more often than not, I do. But once in a while I falter, but they don't condemn me for this, only guide me to do better. And for this I am grateful because it allows me to be a little better every day.