The Old Grey Stallion

    Yesterday was such a fantastic opportunity. I saw smiles everywhere. I also saw some frowns but that is part of learning, right?  I got to watch so many fellow students strut their stuff. Hats off to you all, awesome job. 

   Now me. My day has two very distinct halves. The morning was the smile part. Starts with a awesome Lion dance (great Job you two!). Then I had the honor of being a judge. OMG! I had no idea how stressful this was going to be, but what a learning experience! Not only did I have the best seat in the house, front row center(ish), but I saw so many "eye for detail" moments. Heel down, intent, confidence, stances, all right there in front of me. I had so many aha moments I was dizzy! This was a smorgasbord of learning opportunities. That three hours(ish) have given be years of material to work on. It also gave me the chance afterwards to talk with a couple of students and offer them a little positive nudge on how well they did. I am very great-full for the chance of a lifetime to be allowed to take part in the judging. 

  Then it was my turn. All excuses aside, I wish I had a time machine, but I don't. Everything I thought I had learned from the morning was but a fog in a distant part of my mind. No focus, no eye for detail, no control. All the confidence/competence I thought I had turned to mush, ego took over and out came the ugly. I was burning with annoyance at myself. I could say I gave it my best, but that would be a flat out lie.

   Then the pop. Three steps into the obstacle course, my right calf let loose. Snap crackle pop, something let go and I was done. I guess I wanted to join the cane club instead of finishing my day. I missed the obstacle course and the pool noodle sword fight, and this burned like a nuclear explosion in me. I was ready to scream! I would say that I am over it this morning but I am not. I am hoping for just a pulled muscle, if I am lucky. 

   So now I am looking at my ego. The good, the bad and the ugly of it. Why did this day go the way it did? I need to look inward and find some answers. Not excuses but answers. I can come up with an excuse for every error I made, but that is not what Kung Fu and Mastery are about. 

   So this morning I contemplate, I look at me, am I an old Stallion that should be put out to pasture or is there still a little Mustang left in me, ready to kick and run and savor life. Time to find out.