The Little Things

    Cranes wings in Lau Gar. Specifically in II. In Wednesdays class we really worked on this. It is now Sunday and I am still playing with both their extension outward/sideways(?) and timing/extension with the kick. The more I extend, the higher my kick, the more compressed. the lower my kick. Funny how the body wants to control it's action when the mind is telling it to do something else. I can feel my center move up when I extend to far to compensate for the balance shift, and I can feel my shoulders hunch when I try to keep to tight/compressed. This is definitely a work in progress, and it really opens my eyes to the little things. Now that I can feel the move I am going to watch myself many time in a mirror to see if my mind and body are in harmony or both singing a different song.

Talk to a Pro

    The double kick. Front thrust kick forward, same leg side kick backwards. I have always envied (in a good way) those who could do this kick smoothly and with intent and power. I was struggling with this on Thursday in the IHC class. I just couldn’t get it right. So I called in an expert. Sifu Vantuil came over, watched and pointed out some incredibly obvious flaws in what I was doing. Such simple fixes, and I am already feeling the results. 

   The main problem is I am bullheaded. Ego centric. Male. I didn’t think I needed to ask for help. That I could fix it on my own. What an idiot. Hopefully this is a lesson learned for me. I don’t know it all. I can’t do it by myself. Time to go out of my comfort zone and seek help. So get ready world, here I come with a bucket load of questions I have been holding on to. I may not ask in front of the class but I will ask. 

Needed That

    Forms. I may have mentioned a few times in previous blogs that I love forms. Well this past Wednesday in class, Sifu Langner re-introduced me to my reason for my love of forms. This time it was my high back stance (or lack there of). I thought I was doing a high back stance, I was not. Again, my eye for detail was not as focused as I thought it was. I was doing what was easy, not what was correct. Since that time I have done repeated high back stances, and I am finding old habits are extremely hard to break. So all I can do is to take this one step at a time. First correct, not protect 😁. Then analyze, then correct again and so on. The high back stance is difficult but not impossible so I will work at it till I can look in a mirror and say “hey man. nice stance”. 

Oblivious to the Obvious

    I debated (and still am) how to approach this blog. It has to do with grading. One word, so many feelings. The most important thing right now is how sore my butt is from me kicking myself in it. Why,  because I should have been there this year, but I wasn't. And that is 100% on me. Mrs. Kohut said it perfectly in one of our meetings, the word was "dabbling". Again, one word with so many meanings. As I reflect back on 2020 then 2021, I must be honest with myself, I failed at my commitment to my path, I dabbled instead. I failed at reaching for the brass ring. I floated, hoping "good enough" was good enough. 

   Obviously it wasn't or this blog would be completely different. 

   Master Brinker makes it so easy for us to "get there". Just follow the path laid out in front of you (I Ho Chaun!!). It is obvious it works, just look at the over 100 black belts who have learned from him. Each name up on the wall is proof he knows what he is talking about. But noooo, Don's ego said otherwise. Stupid ego. 

   Will I continue on the path I am on? Will I adapt to the changes I need to make to "get there"? Will grow in my Martial arts of float along like a plastic straw looking for a turtle's nose to comfort me? 

   I know what I want to happen, I know the way to get there, but I seem to be oblivious to the obvious. 

P.S. I love turtles, and I don't use plastic strays, just wanted to paint a pic.

Busy Busy Busy

    It's that time of the year, everything happens all at once. I realistically don't have a free day till the 2nd week of January. And I love it!! I am going to squeeze every ounce of universe juice out of the next month, savoring it's sweet connection to the world around me. Christmas time with the family, traveling to Mexico Jan 1-8 (hopefully), Kody grading for Black Belt, a weekend trip with my wife, Grey Cup football, my dog Bailey, of course my Kung Fu, all of it sweeter than any candy. Even just sitting at home with the tree lit up and the Christmas lights on, I feel the warmth in my heart and it feels goooood. 

   I have so much in my life to be thankful for that I dare not complain, that would be a dis-justice to those whom my not have as fortunate a life. I have my health (asthma and all), I have an incredible family (best in the world IMO), I have a good paying job (like it or not), I have no reason to complain (even though I do - first world entitlement).

    So what am I complaining about? As I look inside for an answer, I realize, nothing important. Sure I could ask for more, but I don't need more to live a great life. I must live in THIS moment, enjoy it for as long as it will last. In fact, I am going to go do the first of the Christmas challenges by Mr Bauer and at the same time contemplate Sifu Cosgrove's "A Royal Path of Knowledge AND Tea With The Devil" , and I am going to enjoy each kick as though it is my last whilst making each kick as perfect as I can.

   Not sure this blog was what I intended but I just let it flow, almost no filter or correction, random. Sorry bout that. I would give it a 2 on the Sifu Csillag missile scale, bordering on a one.

   

One at a Time

    Forms, I talk about forms a lot. I really enjoy doing forms. Until yesterday. I was practicing some forms yesterday, slowing them down to work on various techniques. And then the wheels fell off of my bus. For some reason I could not get through a single form without felling extremely frustrated. Stances, junk, Intent, non existent, Flow, zip zero nada. The madder I got, the worse I got. The worse I got, the madder I got, arrrggg!! So I stopped.

   I now realize that I was trying to fix everything all at once. My brain and my body were both on different pages. My harmonies were tone deaf. All of my struggles with various aspects of every form had come home to roost. Crash and burn.

   But, like the fiery Phoenix, I will be reborn, or so I am really hoping. Today I will start slowly. Just do the forms from start to finish. Feel the form. Enjoy the form. And fix 1 thing and 1 thing only at a time. And with that, my love of forms should come back stronger than ever.

Pushin Past

    Running. I'm not a fan. In my minds eye it is like getting wet bags of cement to dance. I am heavy footed, my stride is short and stiff, I can feel every fat cell jiggle and giggle, and my breathing is suffocating. 

   But yesterday I had a breakthrough.  I was doing the 300 meter shuttle. Normally at about just over 1/2 way mark, my body decides that that is enough and I start to walk. But not this time. My mind decided to keep running, so I forced my body to listen, and..... the full 300m without walking! I had to laugh (gasp actually), it felt like winning a marathon! And all I had to do was not do something, quit. What a great feeling to not quit AND actually reach your goal. I wanted to do it again right there and now, I didn't cause that would have been silly, but I wanted to. 

   The feeling of pushing past what I perceived as a limit was enlightening. What else can I apply this feeling to? Why everything dear reader!! Now this doesn't mean I am going to go all fitness freak on everything I do but now that I have found a way to get over my "wall", maybe, just maybe, this is a step on a new path that will allow me to break down some more walls that I have imagined in my way. 

  

Size 11 Baby Steps

    Forms. I love forms. I may have written several times over the years about my fondness for forms. A properly done from, to me, is so satisfying. The flow, the power, the way that the 6 harmonies can feel if you allow them to work together. But here is the rub. We talk about the eye for detail, and I have said a few times that my eye for detail may need glasses. I used to joke around about that, trying to hide behind the humor, using it as an excuse. My excuses were a crutch, allowing me to "joke" my way through the things I was doing incorrectly. And this has cost me years of time. I am now being forced (by me) to break my forms down and fix many many fundamentals that I have let slide over the years. And of course as I focus on 1 thing, 2 more scream "what about me?". 

   So baby steps, slow the Forms down, feel my center, correct my footwork, finish my moves, lead with my eyes, correct don't protect. Baby steps, listen to the advice of my instructors, figure out how to apply what I am being told, assume nothing, removing my ego. Baby steps, lots and lots of baby steps, so my Forms can grow into something powerful and complete, allowing the Chi to flow. Baby steps, so I can give the Forms the respect that they are due, honoring the tradition and lineage behind them, believing that Kung Fu is over 2000 years old for a reason, and searching for myself to try and see where I fit into this amazing martial art.

   Forms. I love forms.......

Blip

    Lately my routine has been a bit off. Between staff shortages at work causing to have to go in extra early to do their job and just generally a very busy couple of weeks, my training has been sacrificed to just keep up. But now, I can begin to pick up where I left off. No more home football games 😢, most of my staff is back 😀 (plus I have Kody working for me during his fall break - poor kid never gets a break), yard work for winter mostly done, vehicles winter ready, Halloween decorations down, Christmas going up, I'm ready to get back at it. Plus most of my nagging injuries feel better, except my elbow (doctor time). 

   One thing I found out during this busy time was I missed my food. Being busy and on the run caused a lot of fast food to be substituted in place of my now normal food routine. Instead of fresh fruit and veggies it was toast or a granola bar (or nothing at all), instead of a nice sandwich it was a burger, instead of a glass of water it was a coffee. Blah! I can feel the difference inside, heavy and unfulfilled. Luckily I can start getting back to eating healthy again today cause it is grocery day! 

   Now to go and get my personal requirements done for the Year of the Tiger!

Aftermath

    Tough week. As you all probably saw on Thursday, I may have been in class physically but mentally I was somewhere else entirely. Without going into the gory details, I was struggling, big time. I did not want to be there - at all. I was angry, I was dark, I was on the edge of walking away. I was somewhere I NEVER thought I would be. 

   The one thing you should never let me do is stew over something, even if it had very little to do with me. I have a very active mind, and that is not a good thing. I don't just blow things out of proportion, I lay waste with a nuclear onslaught leaving nothing to live. I thought I had this anger under control because no good has ever come from it, only pure destruction. It had never crossed over into my Kung Fu life before. This time I allowed it to creep in and it sent me spiraling to a very scary place. 

   But I managed to beat it this time, with the help of the best people a person could ever know. Master Brinker, Master Rybak and Master Hayes, thank you for pulling me back in. I need Kung Fu, it is my safe place. It keeps me real, it keeps me calm, it is my oasis in a sea of ugly. 

   My apologizes to the team for my abysmal effort on Thursday, I made a promise to not only all of you but to SRKF when I joined the I Ho Chuan, I will do better at living up to it.

   And my apologizes to my family for me being so dramatic that they fear what I may say or do when I get mad. That can't happen anymore. 

This was a very hard blog to write, I do not want to post it but I will anyways.

49 Days

    49 days. In 49 days it is December 4, 2021. In 49 days it is grading day for this years candidates (congrats both of you, by the way, on making the cut!!). Sounds like a lot unless you are grading, then it is terrifyingly close. 

   Last year I quit on myself and opted out of grading, That was a huge mistake for me mentally, it set me back months on my training. This year I didn't quit but instead gave it everything I thought I had to give. While I didn't make the cut, I learned so much about myself. So while I am not grading this year, I am treating as though I am. I want my progression to continue, especially since I now have some very specific things to work on. 

   As I work towards next years grading, I realize how much I still have to do in that time. That is approx 406 days (assuming grading as Dec 3,2022). Again it sounds like a long time from now but trust me, it is not. That time will fly by so I must utilize every iota of it. 

   I want the year of the Tiger (2022) to be monumental for me, so grading starts now, both for this year (personal grading) and next year (actual [hopefully] grading). 

Go Team Ox, then...

Go Team Tiger

What a Day

    Win or lose, pass or fail, whatever the outcome, today was absolutely awesome. There is no better way to find out where you are in your training than to do a fitness test with 2 hours of forms first. There is no way to fake your level of skill, no way to "oops" your way forward. You are either ready or you need to keep working until you are. 

   I am exhausted but I feel fantastic. My body is very unhappy with me but I would expect no less, IT WAS HARD!!!! And I loved every second of it. I've now had a meal, a rest and now I will think about what I learned today, mostly my stances. Fix my stances, I have been told to do this and I shall. It will take a while to undo years of improper training but that is on me alone. So time to get back at it, mastery waits for no one.

Blink and You Will Miss It

    What a wonderful feeling it is to watch your kids grow up. What a sense of pride it is to see them succeed at life. Then there is the feeling of awe you get when you realize that they are better at something than you, and probably have been for a while, you just either didn't notice or didn't give them credit for it. 

   This happened on Saturday. Kody (my now 16 year old boy) and I were practicing forms together and critiquing each other. I went first, and of course there was a list of stuff that he noticed and proceeded to itemize, piece by piece. Perfect I thought, that is why we are doing this, to help focus our mind's eye (mine might need some corrective glasses). He wasn't mean or overly critical, just honest with me. My feeling were not hurt, in fact my pride in his abilities to see my flaws was huge. We worked together to address my errors, and moved on.

   Then it was his turn. And suddenly I had to ask,"When in the donkey spit did he grow up and turn into a man?!". He was no longer my baby boy (but he will always be). He is a fellow martial artist, and he was good, in fact, better than me - by a lot!! I suddenly realized that it was him showing me what to do, not the other way around. It both crushed me and filled my with an enormous amount of pride. 

THIS IS WHY I WANTED HIM TO LEARN KUNG FU!!!!

   It gives me a perfect sense of pride and peace to see his confidence, his abilities, his joy in doing Kung Fu. I know that my contribution into what makes him "Kody" is not to be discounted or dismissed but what he knows in Kung Fu and the Martial Arts can only have come from our Sifus at Silent River Kung Fu. He has been doing this awesome martial art for over 13 years, basically his whole life. The instructors at the Kwoon are as responsible for who he is as much as his teachers at school, his grandparents and siblings, and of course his Mom, with a little me in there too I guess😊. 

   This has happened in the blink of an eye is seems, poof, he we are. He is in grade 11. He is now a licensed driver. And he is training to grade for a black belt. This is more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you to all who have helped him grow into who he is. It takes a village to raise a child, and Kody's village is an empire of awesomeness.

   Thanks for letting be blog about this, it was important for me to get this in writing while it was still fresh in my mind, now it is in print, forever.

Short and Sweet

    I'm having one of those "I have lots to blog about, I have nothing to blog about" moments. Realistically there is always something to blog about though, right? I guess where I am at is I have so much to blog about that I am having a hard time focusing on one thing. So I will look at the ceiling and grab the first thought that looks back.......

   Sleep, or lack of. I have been sleeping very poorly lately. Don't know why, no real big changes in my life, just 4 or 5 hours of sleep if I am lucky, then up and moving. It is wearing me down. Maybe too much mental flotsam floating around in my noggin. I am going to try some of the meditation we have been working on at SRKF,, right before bed, and see what happens. Thing is, I don't have a problem falling asleep, I have a problem staying asleep. Guess I will see where this takes me, more to follow.

  I just erased a whole paragraph, thought it was something I wanted to share, I was wrong. Kind of amazing that what started as a blog about having nothing to really write about has turned into ideas that I am going to implement, guess that goes back to what a very wise man once (and still) says, "when you don't want to train, go train, when you don't want to blog, go write a blog". So I will and I did.

My Foundation

    My Sifus are my architects, they lay out a plan, give instructions, correct where needed, give guidance, they have all the tools I need to be a martial artist. Right from day one they showed me how to build a foundation that should last my entire lifetime and beyond. 

   Now, did I follow their instructions or did I let ego drive my thinking that I can do better than their 2000+ year old map of mastery?

   The big question I am currently asking myself is what is my foundation like. Am I built like a pyramid that is totally solid, able to last more than 5000 years and still be as solid as the day it was constructed? Or am I more like a Dr Seuss Whoville house that sways and leans even in the slightest breeze, ready to topple over for lack of balance and structure? I am scared to answer that because it may mean a complete overhaul of my current level of skills (or lack of). 

   This all started with a question in class and in our meeting about the depth of my bow stance, or lack of depth to be accurate. So I took a hard look at it yesterday, tape measure and all, and low and behold, what I thought was right was actually only comfortable, not solid at all. Complacency and mediocrity had crept into my stance, I don't remember opening the door to let them in but that is why those two jerks are so dangerous, they are silent and sneaky, I must be vigilant, ruthless and constantly aware of their presence. Remember that the end of Mastery is "correct don't protect". And I shall do just that.

   With grading only a heart beat away, I know that this is not the time for a revamp of my foundation but it is now on  my radar as something to explore and work at, because Kung Fu is a lifelong journey, not a single grading day, so I might as well do incremental little steps when I can, not giant leaps that may do more harm than good.

 

 

             

                                                  what I think my foundation feels like

 

                                     what my foundation is actually like

Of Course it's Boot Camp

    Of course this blog is going to be about Boot Camp 2021. Let me break it down (from my perspective of course). 

   Morning meditation. Calm, quiet, guided, peaceful, learning about yourself. Focuses on your breathing, let Master Brinker guide you while enjoying the crisp morning air in the peaceful Hamlet of Keephills. Poke and prod thoughts and ideas deep inside you that you would normally not even acknowledge. 

   Joint locks. Worked your body and mind while moving your way through a series of connected moves of joint locks. Helped me enormously with my centering and footwork, because without both, the locks don't work. Thank you Mr Bauer for being my awesome partner.

   Drumming. How fun was this?! Buckets load of fun (if you where there you will get this bad pun). Rhythm, timing, adaptation, coordination, focusing and unfocusing at the same time. While I may never be ready for my solo, I loved the feeling when the beat actually seemed to represent a usable rhythm, something passable for drumming, then I would see a squirrel and it would all fall apart. Alas, back to my day job.

   Lunch, with a side of a motivational seminar on leadership. Nice, thanks John and Greg.

   Fight Choreography. Fun to say the least. Some great performances! And as a bonus, my wife got to kick me in the gut nice and hard, sweet!! Realism, showmanship, and of course proper form and techniques. So much to stuff into a short performance in front of your peers no less, ahh pressure, how I love thee.

   Then the fitness test. Sweat, exhaustion, mental fortitude, focus, dig deeeeep, keep going!! Most will shy away from this test, I relish it. To know yourself you must push yourself. You cannot fake or lie your way through this test, it is all on you. Pass or fail, finish or quit, just do your best and learn from this. I will never be a runner, I will never be as fit and nimble as most the young-lings in our school. Their best years are ahead of them, mine are not, but that drives me even harder. 

   To sum it all up, if you missed out on this day, that is unfortunate, hopefully it was for a good reason cause boy did you miss out. I loved this day, I will immediately sign up for the next one as soon as it becomes available. This is an extremely valuable day of Kung Fu, 9 hours of non-stop learning, both about Kung Fu and yourself. Thank you to all the instructors and to Master Brinker for making this day possible.

Trigger

    This is a very stressful time of year for me. It is tire season at work and the next two months are insanely busy for me, it is all I think about right now. To add to that, there is a worldwide tire shortage (thanks Covid), to add to that, my tire inventory control guy just quit (greener pastures apparently), to add to that, the promised expansion of my tire storage facility never happened again this year (thanks shiny new rich guy toy), it is going to be a very difficult fall for me to say the least. I get worked up just thinking about what is coming, my own personal Armageddon. My boss brushes it off like shoulder dandruff, he has no idea of what is coming, he is oblivious, not his problem, it is my problem. So why do I do this, what keeps me there amid all the anger and confusion? Why do I allow this to rule my days and stress me out so badly that it effects almost every aspect of my life? Is it time to pull the plug and leave them to their own self created disaster? I ask myself that everyday now when I go to work. 

   The only reason I can think of as to why I am still there is I hate to quit. I truly want to believe that I can make a difference and see my staff through this maelstrom to the calmer shores of "not tire season". I have good people under me, honest, mostly hard working, almost the perfect staff (except the booger that just quit on me), I want to do right by them. Making them succeed makes me succeed. Their triumphs are mine as well. I know to my employer I am just another employee, replaceable with a Walmart floor mat, that is their problem. But I want to be the best floor mat I can be, so I allow myself to be stepped on, because I know that is what is expected of me. 

   Enough of this topic, my hands are sweating just typing this, my current heart rate is 115bpm just writing this, move on Don, move on.....

   Stress triggers. That was the point of this blog. We talked about that yesterday in our meeting, well this is one of my biggest stress trigger, and it is a monster. This topic is definitely the negative trigger to the positive triggers in my life. But the positives in my life crush this trigger with it's little pinky finger. Squish it like a tiny bug. So I will focus on the positives because the negatives are insignificant to what really matters to me. My wife, my family, my dog, my health and my Kung Fu. Goose bumps, that is what I just got thinking about these positives, they are irreplaceable, money can't buy them and they are woven into my life like a suit of chainmail armour, protecting me from head to soul, tough as diamonds. Take that negative trigger!

Back to Reality

    So much has happened in the past week or so. Major events; Back to school week at the Kwoon, potato bake and my favorite nieces wedding. Minor events, yard work/winter prep, general organizing and cleaning. It has been a very full week off of work and my training has definitely suffered. My routine in the morning was shot to spit, my evening form reps were pretty much just mental, but I did my best to keep Kung Fu in my thoughts as much as possible. 

   Now that life has gotten back to semi-normal, I can finally get back to putting my training back at the top or near top of my priority list. I won't say that I have wasted the last week because there was a ton of positive moments and memories in it, but now my focus needs to be grading. 

   So enough talking about it, time to do it.

Easy to Read

    I am an open book. Laid bare for the world to see, ask me a question and I will give you an honest answer. Life is to short for me to not be an easy read. I try to be as positive as I can be at all times, even when I am getting kicked in the (fill in what you like). I have been a negative person, I have been a narcissist, pessimist, mean spirited, etc. I look back at that previous me and wonder how I ever survived. It was eating me alive, it was a dead end. 

   Then it all changed, I found the martial arts and my wife (Deb), almost at the exact same time (coincidence?? or providence??). The world was suddenly brighter, life made sense finally. At last, I had (and have) a purpose. 

   That is why this last weekend was a kick to the soft squishy underbelly for me, a real eye opener. Fitness and forms for 5-1/2 hours, what could possibly go wrong, right? Well, everything and nothing, all at the same time. Believe it or not, I loved every second of it, even the 2km run. I felt alive, I was part of something greater than me, I testing myself, pushing myself, seeing what I was made of. 

   I may not have been overly happy with the end results but now I have a much better understanding of ME. I surprised myself and disappointed myself, all at the same time. Yes I found myself holding back on certain things, now I can ask myself why, and what it is going to take for me to give it everything I have, not 90% but 100%. Yes I was as nervous as stink when I was doing my forms, but holy smack did I learn from this, sooo much insight, so much to correct and work on. To do the fitness test from start to finish, to do the school forms in front of the SRKF grading board, this is life changing. I am only just now starting to fully comprehend the magnitude of the things I learned. 

   I will continue to blog as I have more insight to this, but for now suffice to say, wow, this is why I am in Kung Fu. Where else can I learn so much about me by failing so spectacularly? Where else do so many people want you to succeed, where else is failure actually success?

   This may not have come across the way I wanted but I am still processing "stuff". more to follow.

Please Sifu, May I Have Another?

    What a glorious day it was. Five and a half hours of getting to know myself. Pass or fail was secondary, self awareness and personal growth was everything, to me. I learned so much about my Kung Fu yesterday, it was a poke with a stick to the eye for detail for me. Keep my eyes up, expand and contract my moves, flow but finish, breath, relax and explode, it goes on and on. Awesome. So much to learn from just one day, I can't wait for the next opportunity to take this knowledge and apply it to what was taught to me. And that will come sooner than I think, cause that starts today, aches and pains be damned! 

   Now don't get me wrong about the pass or fail part, I gave it my all. I pushed and pulled till my body gave out, then pushed and pulled a little more. But I didn't try to "work" the test. I know that pass or fail,  this is but a step on my journey. Black belt or cue belt, I will be here tomorrow, learning from the best people I have ever met. This is a lifelong experience, growth not goal orientated. That doesn't mean I don't want a black belt, but I want to earn my black belt for the right reasons, I want to BE a black belt, not get a black belt. If that takes the rest of my life, so be it, I'm in this for the long haul. And yesterday sure felt like a door being opened to show me the right way to proceed on that path. Now to go through that door and follow that path and grow from what it brings.

   Thank you to all the Sifus who took the time out of their lives to allow me to participate in yesterdays grading. I greatly appreciated all the efforts you put into the guiding of your student towards mastery. I am a better person for just knowing you, Thank you all.

Now to go do some Kung Fu

 

 

  

I See the Need

    I see the need for consistent action now more that ever. The past few days I decided to give my body a tiny break from my regular routine. No push ups or sit ups in the morning, just stretching. While my shoulders and back feel rested and ready, my mind doesn't. I have disrupted a morning routine that has served me well for a few years now and it made me feel like something was missing from my day. I actually tried to "sneak" a few push ups and sit ups in after work one day, I had to stop myself and remind my mind that there was a reason for the rest. 

   Now it is Sunday, I have had 2 solid days of rest, I am eager to resume my consistent action that has worked well for me. I can see how easy it would be to fall into this gumption trap, I'll call it the "tomorrow" trap. "Gee Mom, I'm tired, can I do it tomorrow, I promise I'll get it done". But remember, tomorrow never comes, it is always today, so if I fall into that trap, I'm doomed to fail at everything. 

   Time to ramp it up for this Saturday, upward curve, reach for the peak, leave nothing on the table, have I missed any cliches? Seriously though, I'm excited for our first test this weekend, it is a benchmark for me that I truly need and want. "Where am I and What am I doing?", this Saturday should be a good test of that question. 

   Thank you to all who are giving me this chance to test myself, your time and attention is greatly appreciated, I will do my best. See you Saturday.

Rain, Breathing and Football

    I have taken this past week to really reflect on some of the anxieties in my life. Things that would cross my mind, in no particular order, my health, the weather, my mother, my job, society, both the lack and excess of kindness in the world. So much of this I can not control. So much of this weighs heavy on me. 

   But then it rained yesterday. Ahhhh let the healing begin. Then I went to a football game. Today I will see my mother, today I will look after my health ( both physical and mental ) better today than yesterday. I will control what I can and accept what I can't. And love my family twice as hard as yesterday. Time to take a breath and enjoy where I am and what I am doing.

   This of course includes my training and Kung Fu. 

   I am not a religious man but my Dad used to have this quote hanging in his office and I find it applies more every day to my life in general.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

 Reinhold Niebuhr

Crunch Time

    With July 2021 now in the rear view mirror, the reality of Grading Day(s) cannot be ignored. It is almost here, so close my bones can fell it. It is exciting, it is terrifying, it is reality squared to the nth degree. Just short of my wedding day and the birth of my boy, I have never had this much nervous and excited energy in me. But I must remember that both my wedding day and the birth of my boy changed me forever, for the good. Never has my life been so sweet, never has the sun shone brighter, the air smelled fresher, the world looked more beautiful, than at the end of those days. I can close my eyes and take myself there, the Maligne Canyon outlook for our vows, beautiful, majestic, perfect, the Misericordia hospital for the birth, my wife, my family, and my soon to be son, awesome. Sure there were bumps on the road both days, but that was just fate adding some seasoning to the day. 

   I learned so much on both those days. I learned that you can not control everything, sometimes all you can do is prepare to the best of your ability and let the chips fall where they may.  Grading day is very similar ( I think ), I have prepared, practiced, listened to those who have experienced the day and to those who have planned the day. I am ready to give it everything I have and have no regrets regardless of the outcome. Yes I want to succeed, yes I want to pass, yes I will be in class Monday evening regardless of the outcome. This is a life long journey, and I want to live every second, enjoy every triumph, and learn from every failure. Thank you for being with me on this journey ( people reading this ), lets see where the road leads.

 

                                                                    Two Perfect Moments

 

 

 

 

 

Looking In

    Busy, but not. Exhausted but energized. Excited but hesitant. Worthy or pretending? So many feelings and thoughts are going through my mind, body and spirit as grading day(s) approaches. We have been talking a lot about being prepared mentally,physically and spiritually by September in our Saturday morning candidates meetings. Am I? Am I not? Someone much smarter and well spoken than me once wrote....

.“To be, or not to be? That is the question"

By William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

   Simple question right?    Not!    Looking inward, I ask myself, "what does it mean to me "to be or not to be" a Black Belt"? So simple a question, with a 2000+ year old answer that is always evolving but still manages to stay the same. 

   Morality, mental, physical and spiritual morality. That is the word that comes to me first. And who is to judge my morality. It obviously starts with me. If I cannot believe in my own morality, I do not deserve to be a black belt. I like to believe I am a moral person, some may argue I am not. To each his own I guess. The path I try to follow for me to feel "moral" is a winding labyrinth of light and darkness, but I try to face the darkness head on so I can bask in the light without regret. I have failures, they hurt, they can be discouraging, but I try to learn from each one. Sometimes there is no lesson to be learned, and that in itself is the lesson. But the successes, oh how sweet they are. Their light crushes the failures into dust. 

   That is how I am approaching my black belt grading. Any failures are just lessons to be learned, any successes are to savored and enjoyed.

 

 

 

   

Proven it

 

    Requirements. Tracking your progress. Accountability to not only the team but yourself. 

   Thursdays IHC meeting I stated that I was tracking but not tallying my numbers. After a rethink on this, I am putting my totals out there for all to see, including myself. So here they are as of right here right now ( July 18,2021 7:32am )....

1 - No quitting  👍

2 - 50000 push ups   20,869/50000  average 134/day ( Based on year of the Ox at 354 days long )

3 - 50000 sit ups       21413/50000 average 137/day

4 - Master 2 forms

    - Lau Gar  350/1000 lots of partial form, working on a particular technique

    - Axe form  300/1000  still trying to find an ending that I feel right about

5 - 1000 rounds of sparring   390/1000  mostly shadow up till now

6 - 1609km   1029km/1609km   6.6km/day 

7 - 1000 AOK   695/1000

8 - Mend a relationship  Those people in my life are there by design, those I have chosen to cut ties with I have done so purposely. I have always tried to be kind to everyone equally, second and third chances given out freely, but if you are a cancer in my life, I will remove you from my life. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I would rather be surrounded by those I love than those I don't.

9 - public journal  my 3rd year in the IHC and  I have never missed a week

10 - maintain an online presence   active in Kwoon talk 👍

11 - 3 public appearances  coming soon to an event near you - I hope 😀

12 - Lion dance   actually did about 1/2 hour yesterday with my family

13 - Tiger Challenge  👍😁

 

   There, it's out there, now to get to work on what needs improvement and reflect on where I am as of now. 

 

 

Am I Your Daddy?

    This picture is a classic. Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers of all time. He knew how to impose his will on someone. 

   Fast, strong, confident, and that was just his mind. Read his quotes, he was a true champion. 

  

   In last weeks classes, Master Brinker was talking about how we where imposing our will on each other and how he liked it, a lot. It made me step back and reflect on my will. Now maybe it wasn't directed at me specifically but EVERYTHING that is said in class is important and must be reflected on. So I will reflect.

   What was my will during both the wrist escapes and choke defenses. I obviously wasn't trying to actually hurt my partners, but I easily could have. One wrong move, one slip and someone could have got hurt. That is the thin line that worries me the most. Too aggressive and I may hurt my partner, not aggressive enough and the rep doesn't count. So maybe I should look at it from the perspective of assertive not aggressive. I have never considered myself an aggressive person so I usually lean towards the side of caution, but as my Kung Fu progresses I find I can actually be more assertive without being dangerous. More "who's your Daddy?' than "where's my Mommy?". 

   We also discussed the importance of footwork, this is usually make or break in an application. To far away, no leverage, to close, get jammed up. Thankfully I had two great partners is class, and that made a big difference. I found I was concentrating on my upper body a little too much and forgetting about my footwork, forcing me to adjust as I progressed through the move. My partners worked with me and that made all the difference. 

Reality with a side of Irony

    One of my personal requirements this year is to get less screen time, more real time. This is proving to be very had to do. First off my work consists of almost 100% screen time, unavoidable, so I do not to include that in my daily digital count. Now that classes are live again, that means less Zoom (yeah!), plus classes are infinitely better in person. Saturday meetings are via Zoom but that's okay because our laptop is right by a big window so the outdoors is a gigantic backdrop, distracting but in a good way. Now comes the real problem, My phone and the TV. I can feel the drop in my IQ as soon as either becomes my focus. They are like a drug, addictive, very hard to kick. Yes we all need some down time to recharge but I was finding myself using this as an excuse to watch more TV and play on my phone more. Then there is the  weather lately, 39C in my back yard, this has made being outside prohibitive and down right dangerous, but now that we are back to more normal temperatures, I NEED to get outside and refocus on, well, everything. 

   The birds are singing, the rain just kissed the ground gently, the sun is coming up, I'm going outside to do some gentle quiet Tai Chi.

P.S. To talk about this I must use a screen, yes I get the irony, but such is our world.

Chow for now...........................

  

Food Fight!!!

    Creature of habit, that's me. Get up, have a coffee, do a work out, have a bite, go to work (job or household), come home, lunch, back to work, come home (again), relax, supper, bed, repeat. Sounds monotonous right, wrong. It is the life I have chosen, it is comfortable, it suits me, But that doesn't mean I am not open to a little change now and then. actually, this is a fairly big change, I speak of food. 

   Food is everywhere. Let me rephrase that, bad food is everywhere, good food not so much. I can go out right now and eat myself to oblivion on crap, burgers, pizza, ice cream, chips, you name it, it is a 5 minute drive from my door to my belly. Even worse, I can now pay someone to bring it right to my mouth, just open my wallet and they will deliver it right to my colon (almost 😀), anything I want, no questions, no judgement, just pay them to slowly kill you. And don't forget the tip! And then we wonder why obesity is running rampant.

   Good food. What is good food? Do we speak strictly of taste? Or where it falls on the classical 80's food pyramid, or what a pro athlete eats, or what your Nana used to make for Sunday dinner?? Or worse yet, because it is expensive it must be good right? If you want to hurt your brain and bowels, ask the internet, I gained 2 pounds binge eating while reading about the benefits of only eating watermelon on a full moon. Sorry, I'm going off topic and starting to rant, probably the cheesecake I had last night taking hold of my brain stem. Back to my topic.

   I have changed one aspect of my daily routine. Instead of toast with honey for breakfast, I am now eating a mixture of fruit and vegetables, it consists of (usually); a banana, an apple, some strawberries, some grapes, cucumber slices, diced carrots, yellow or orange bell pepper slices, celery, and some blueberries. Sounds like a lot, but really it isn't, it's a bowl full at best. And I absolutely love the flavors in the morning. And the energy it gives me, oh baby where have you been all my life?! I'm not even going to mention what it does to my digestive track, oh wait, I just did, sorry. 

   I guess all the rhetoric I have been fed (pun intended) throughout my live may have some merit after all, you know, "eat your vegetables, those are empty calories, you eat too much sugar, limit your portion size, etc", it has been drilled into my brain since I was a kid and I always thought I knew better. Boy was I wrong.  Now at 51 years old, I know my body can no longer sustain eating just because, I must eat with a cause, to live as long as possible and as healthy as possible. This is going to be one off the hardest challenges I have ever given myself, I hope I am up for it.

Black coffee

    We are currently in Banff enjoying a long overdue anniversary celebration. Sitting here this morning my mind wanders to various things, the things we have enjoyed here, the trip home, the bill, is everything packed, etc. And black coffee. What??

   Making a coffee for myself this morning, my mind wandered to kung fu and how it has become intertwined with everything I do.  As this thought skipped through my mind, I added a little “creamer” to my coffee and watched it slowly combine with the blackness of the coffee to create something entirely different. This is what Kung Fu has done to me, I thought. Both my coffee and my life are yummier, tastier, what I want, totally intertwined and inseparable. They are one now and forever. Two separate entities that were good on their own but together, light years better. This of course also applies to my wonderful wife, Deb. 

Blogging on my phone is harder than I thought it would be, no glasses and fat thumbs, this took 2x as long. 😁

And by creamer I mean of course Baileys

Worth the Mess

   So I finally got around to putting a bird feeder and a couple of bird houses in the back yard again. Now there are birds everywhere. I love it. My dog hates it. There are so many birds that sometimes it drowns out the road noise from the summer "look how loud I can be!!" clowns. 

   This year has been transformational in our yard for trying to attract nature back. New vegetable gardens, bee friendly plants, new sidewalk, lots of throwing out what isn't needed and fixing old stuff to make it new again. And it is long overdue. But it has been a process, expensive, messy, very time consuming, never ending, and very hard but rewarding work. Wait, am I talking about the yard or Kung Fu? Yes to both. Even with my current injuries, all I want to do is yard work and practice Kung Fu. The nicer my yard gets, the more I want to go outside and do a form. The more I go outside to do a form, the more I see in my yard that needs work. The cycle seems never ending, and I love it. I had to tear down quite a lot in the yard to start to get to what I want, and I have been doing a bit of that as well with my "bad habits" Kung Fu. Both have been messy at times but well worth the effort. Yard work and Kung Fu are never done, they both need constant attention or all the work was for nothing. Time to go pull some weeds and work my upper body with maybe a hands only form ( ankle is down for the count ).

   June 14th is only 1 day away, totally excited to be back!!

Piling Up

    This past week hasn't been very Kung Fuy for me physically. Injuries and the fatigue it causes have been piling up. First it was sore shoulders, then I tweaked my back (couldn't even get up off the floor - doing sit-ups), now I seemed to have injured my Achilles tendon in some mysterious way. Physically I am exhausted, I go to bed in pain and wake up multiple times during the night with a gasp of pain, it is disheartening. When did I go and get this old? I want to train, really I do, but I think to continue with my current regiment would be a little unwise. I will modify my training until I can resume a more physical routine, maybe work the brain a little harder ( Zen time ), do some really low impact Kung Fu ( Tai Chi sounds great! ), but I will keep training in some way. Monday I will be making various appointments to get this old body in for a tune up. So to those younger students and classmates out there, enjoy your super powers while you can, cause father time reclaims them far to soon. 

Train smart.

Of Course, the Tiger Challenge

    What else would this post be about other than the Tiger Challenge ( May 29, 2021 ). Sure it might be a mandatory requirement that we all agreed to when we signed up for the I Ho Chuan, but I would sign up regardless of it being a requirement or not. I absolutely love the Tiger Challenge. As nerve racking as it can be being put to the test , the sense of accomplishment and the pure thrill of "the moment" when your turn comes up and you strut your stuff cannot be understated, it is something you must feel for yourself.

   My first Tiger Challenge I was petrified, but I did it anyways. That was in 2014. Now I wouldn't miss it for the world. It tests you both mentally and physically. You cannot help but to grow from the experience. I find it takes me personally up not just 1 notch, but 10. I can feel my intensity ramp up to new heights as my turn comes. I can feel every move and instantly know whether I got it right or not. My body screams, my mind blurs, my heart races ( apparently my heart rate was at 180 for the musical form - wow ), but I savory every single moment. The sense of accomplishment when you know you tried your best and made it to the end, euphoric. 

   A big thanks goes out to all the judges, to all my fellow competitors, to all those who attended, and to Master Brinker for making this all possible. To be in Stony Plain Alberta Canada in 2021 practicing a 2000+ year old Martial Art from China is mind blowing. 

P.S. Mrs Ferris, that video rocked, you keep taking it up a notch for the rest of us, thank you.

  

Intensify the Intensity

    Level 10. That is where I need to be. Not coasting. Not holding back. If I am not exhausted after a class or a work out, I need to question why. With grading coming upon us very quickly, I need to push beyond comfort, no excuses. Finish my stances, kick and punch and block like my life depended upon it. My first big test on this is the Tiger Challenge this Saturday. Explode or implode, the choice is mine. Let's see what the day brings.

Potato is a Shape

    29 years old. Why do I bring that up? That was my magic age, my peak of fitness. But at what cost? Back story time.....

   Yesterday in our 2nd degree brown belt meeting we were discussing our fitness level. I knew the exact point in my life when I was at my "peak" of fitness. I was 29 years old. I went to Gold's Gym every morning for 2 hours before work and then for 2 hours after work, everyday. I had no life but the gym. I did cardio like I was running from a fire, I did Muay Thai kick boxing 3 days a week, I dabbled with free weights, so on and so on. I was 167lbs, 4% body fat, lean and mean. I ate food like it had no consequence. I was a vibrating ball of unusable energy, unable to focus that said energy. I was always on the go. I was not who I wanted to be, but I was fit. It wasn't good.

   Fast forward to now. I am 221lbs, 51 year old, body fat is like 346%, and I am shaped much more like a potato than Adonis. I look in my mental rear view mirror and I sigh, " I remember when I was (fit)(thin)(etc)...", but here is the thing, my "29" wasn't sustainable. I was always starving, I was always sore and injured, I had no use for any of my fitness. I was angry, directionless, everything annoyed me. My fitness obsession was burning me out. I was headed for both permanent physical and emotional damage. It was unsustainable! It had to stop. 

   Enter Deb. My partner into who I am now, my everything. My wife. My life.

   So here I am, on the road to grading in about 4ish months. Do I wish I was my "29" fitness, well of course I do. But that is totally unrealistic. All I can do at this point in my life is give my all, hold nothing back, but most importantly, make it sustainable! Eat properly, maintain a regular workout routine, look after my overall health, love my family and friends, and of course, savor my Kung Fu. 

   Grading is daunting, but so is life. Am I worried about grading, no. It is a gauge not a judgement. It is a tool not a hoop. I am actually really excited for it, I want to strut my stuff, full on peacock feathers! Not because of ego, but because of life. Grading is a pit stop on my journey, I will continue on regardless of the outcome. Bring it on, I'm not getting any younger you know.

Ahh the Classics

  "I hear what you are saying, but what do you have to tell?". H.G. Wells, The Invisible Man. 1897

   I am currently enjoying this classic novel by H.G Wells. I bring this up because near the end of chapter 18, this is said in the book. Of course there is a lot of context that should go with this sentence but I won't drag this on to long. This really struck me as a key to unlocking my Kung Fu. How you ask, bear with me as I muddle this out. 

   A summary of this sentence would be as follows... a story is being related to an old acquaintance by a fellow colleague, both fairly educated, neither one particularly cares for the other, one is trying to "pull the wool" over the others eyes by only giving a vague summary of the events that led them to meet. When pressed, the truth is grudgingly given. And it is an ugly truth. 

   Now to me. I try to think, live, breathe, enjoy Kung Fu to it's fullest. I like to think of Kung Fu as an ongoing saga in the story of Me. But what am I truley saying about me and my life with Kung Fu? Am I adding to the ocean of Kung Fu's legacy, or am I merely a spectator watching and cheering from the shore? Am I expressing my Kung Fu as a martial artist or as a pretender trying to fool others into thinking I am someone I am not. 

   I think that because this question bothers me so much I must look deeper into my commitment to the art, or lack of, and take some steps to engage at a higher lever. This applies both physically and mentally. 

   So right now I say to people and myself that I do Kung Fu, so now my actions must tell people, and especially myself, that this is true.  

   I hope this got my "feeling" across, I am going to go outside now and walk the walk. Let's see where this takes me, ugly truth or not, engage Mr Bjorkquist, engage.

What Did I Commit To? Me!

    Yesterdays 2nd degree brown belt meeting was, as always, great. It is always informative, supportive, and inspirational. The thing about yesterdays meeting was that there was a commitment made. In less then 2 weeks, we are doing a meeting/test on one of our requirements, kicks. I know that this is a preliminary test to show where we are at with our kicks and it will be immensely helpful towards our mastery of our kicks but none the less, I still want to do my best as though it was grading day. Speed, Power and Form. Bring my A game. Give it my all. Leave nothing on the table.

   I'm both excited and a bit freaked out. I must approach this golden opportunity with NO ego. I must be a sponge, absorb every comment, suggestion. Basics Don! Basics. No show boating, no assuming I know, listen to what is said, achieve perfection with correction.

   It's amazing how an opportunity like this narrows your focus. To me, it is like a giant magnifying glass has been put in front of my eye for detail. To say I am going to be working on my kick basics for the next two weeks would be an understatement. I am thrilled to get this chance, now I must not squander it.

Path of Pain

    This is short blog. I have a roving ball of pain/soreness in my body. One day it is in my left instep, next day, lower back, next day, right ankle, next day, left bicep, today, it seems to have taken residence in my gumption. It is annoying, it is limiting my training, I want it gone. I'm not sure if it caused by diet, sleep patterns, exercise level, age or a combination of all the above. 

Liam Neeson ( and a little tweak by me )

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills AND MENTORS, skills AND MENTORS I have acquired over a very long career. Skills AND MENTORS that make me a nightmare for PAINS like you. If you let my BODY go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

 You understand that pain? If you go away away, we are good, stay and we will have a problem.

   All joking aside, I can live with the annoyance of pain but I would prefer not to. I think I'll start with my joint pain, my plan is to find the best NATURAL way of dealing with inflammation. I hear pineapple does wonders, any other advice for a guy over 50? Then my weight and sleeping patters, I've heard these can go hand in hand, not enough sleep makes weight loss very difficult. I want to keep it simple so that I might actually stay with this and improve my overall health. 

   So now I'm off to do some light training, I really want to play with the Stiff Swinging Kick to Spine from this weeks live stream, looks fun.

Word Crimes and Random Connections

   Weird Al Yankovic. A genius to me. A master if you will. You see, I love humor, and I dislike disrespect. Weird Al is a marvel to me not only because of his sense of humor and ability to parody life but he shows the utmost respect for the artist/song he is parodying because if an artist says "no, he can't use their song", he won't. He has quite a few songs that I absolutely consider classics ( another one rides the bus, yoda, fat, etc ), but one that I just get a total kick out of is "Word Crimes". You see, something I also value is the ability to use the English language properly. I bring this up because of yesterdays 2nd degree brown belt meeting. We discussed "verbology", you know, the ability to properly ask a question, proper terminology, the way you phrase your thoughts into words. This is incredible tough for so many people because we just don't talk to each other anymore. We text, blog, podcast, email, short and sweet, to the point ( usually ), no fact check. no responsibility, with spell check, the ability to erase and revgbd...redo. I dislike this A LOT!. 

   Real live conversation isn't like that, it has awkward silences, it takes turns, loses itself completely from the point, especially for someone like me who's thoughts and ideas tend to come out in a verbal tidal wave ( verbal diarrhea I sometimes call it ), no chance to screen or smooth out the lumps, hurry hurry hurry before you lose their attention. And everybody gets sooo offended sooo quickly nowadays. One wrong word and BAM, you a racist, your a narcissist, your blacklisted, no chance to explain, damage done, everyone with a phone or access to the internet and no ability to think for themselves hates you. Sorry, I'm going down a dark road here, time to get back to my point. 

   I like to listen and think, explore a conversation, contemplate. I don't have the greatest ability to orate my thoughts back to someone once they are worthy to share, but I try too. I get to excited, nervous, trip over my own tongue. Sometimes what I think and what I say are nowhere near the same thing and I don't realize this till later.

   Thoughts are so hard to put into words and we need to change that. I never used to understand why my Dad loved to just sit around a fire, no music, no distractions, just family, friends and fire. I get it now, conversation. It is becoming a lost art and needs to be practiced and used more before we lose it all together, before it changes into something impersonal like a text or blog or email. 

   Just like our Kung Fu. You can watch all the movies you want, write all the blogs you can think of, talk endlessly about ideas, but if we don't get up and actually practice the art, it will become history, a fable, and that is terrifying to me. 

 Chautauqua anyone? 

Then maybe a Lion Dance. Then Forms seminar, board break challenge, Tiger Challenge?

 

 

Thanks to You

    So many people in my life have done kind or extraordinarily meaningful things for me with no thought of personal gain, and I think it is well past time to thank those with whom I may have neglected to acknowledge for their commitment to me and to the greater good of mankind. This list is actually quite long, and I'm not surprised. There is really so much good and compassion out there, you just need to look past the small amount of negative and overly loud narcissists out there to find the "kind" in mankind. I'm not going to list EVERYONE because that would get a little tedious for you to read through, so instead I am going to make it an extra personal goal over the next little while to go out of my way to acknowledge as many of those people as I can. There are some I want to acknowledge here  ( this is hundreds of people actually, but I'll group them in a great big collective thank you hug ), because the current lock down prevents me from doing this face to face, so here we go.....

Fellow students at SRKF, each and every one of you, yes you, I'm pointing at you! Your commitment to the art we practice, to the school you train in ( either at home, in the Kwoon or wherever you are ), your willingness to learn and the energy you bring to the cosmos, I feel energized by your very presence, I am lucky just to know you, thank you.

Sifus both past and present at SRKF and in Kung Fu in general. The path you show me as a student is not just a path to mastery but a path with a purpose. You make me better just by being who you are. Every Sifu at the school, as an individual, brings something different to the table but all with the same goal, to make the world we live in a better place for not just themselves, but for everyone, regardless of the baggage that most people have. I could list dozens of Sifus who have changed my life but the risk is I might miss someone, and I can't do that, that would be an injustice to them. So this is for EVERY Sifu, thank you.

Master Brinker, I am going to keep this short as I could write a novel about how you have guided me and my family to where we are now, but anyone who knows you already knows what I would write because the path you lay out is so easy to follow, the leadership you provide, your passion for the art of Kung Fu.... I could go on and on, but as I said I would keep this short so, thank you.

My family, Deb and Kody, I know I can do this in person but I wanted to publicly acknowledge you both as well. Without you on my journey, there is no joy, no stopping to smell the roses, no reason to push forward. You two are my companions on this journey through this crazy world. I may push a little to hard sometimes to do "things", but that is only because we are so good together and our time is so finite, I want to enjoy every moment before I can't anymore. You two rock, not just thank you but love you.

This part of my kung fu is so important to me. Acknowledging those around me makes me train harder, think more, and appreciate what I can do as an individual to make the world a little better place for all. I'm gonna go train now, feeling revitalized by writing this.

Numbers Time

    Recently Ms Ward posted that she was going to post her numbers regularly, made me realize I haven't tallied or posted mine in a while. So without further ado...

Requirements  ( 354 days in this year, we are on day 52 ) ( green good , orange warning to me , red bad , blue out of my control )

No Quitting  done, still here going "strong"

Push Ups  7360/50000   on track

Sit Ups  8255/50000   on track

Two Forms 1000 reps

    -weapon ( double axes )  100/1000  ( outside space will bring wayyy more reps )

    -lau gar  75/1000  ( outside space will bring wayyy more reps )

Sparring 1000 Rounds   140/1000   on track

1609 Km   370/1609  ( spring/summer will definitely help this number )

1000 AOK   228/1000   on track

Mend a Relationship  being nicer to everyone, or at least trying to be

Journal 1x Week  done

Maintain an Online Presence  done

3 Public Performances  not yet but hoping to soon ( thanks to Covid )

Learn to Lion Dance  again, not yet but hoping to soon ( you again Covid!)

Tiger Challenge  soon I hope

Zero absences  done

Excel in curriculum  not for me to judge but reviewing as necessary

SRKF Projects  none yet ( darn you Covid!! )

Mastery  almost there

Personal Demo  coming together nicely

Board Break  starting on that toot sweet

Five Applications  ideas swirling, need mats to practice

Grading day  excited and terrified for this

Grading Assignments

3 Personal Ref   1 so far 2 more to go

Reading Zen  done reading, working on questions

Written  done except Zen

Criminal background  whoops-forgot about this- will do this week coming up

First Aid Certification  done

 

Personal Requirements

 

These will really start to present themselves over the next few months. I have my benchmarks and I am setting my objectives, unfortunately my shoulder is preventing my progress, but I will work on other things that are not shoulder related. Since these are all fitness related goals, spring/summer will help significantly. 

One of my person requirements was to cut down on my screen time (tv,surfing,etc), this is tougher than I thought it would be as everyone is blogging significantly more this year than in previous years. That is a good thing. I really don't mind reading everyone's blog, I may not comment as much as I used to but I still really need that engagement from y'all, so go team Ox!!

 

On with the Show

    Beta version. My basement versus the Kwoon. In my mind versus in front of a crowd. Ego versus ability. Me versus Me. It was quite the battle for me on this last Thursday ( March 25, 2021 ) in class. I thought I had a fun little ditty ready to go for my beta version of my weapon form. I had even taken half the day off work to iron out a few kinks and add a few more moves. Felt pretty good about where I was at with the form in my basement. Did a little warm up in class, moves were still feeling good, mind was clear, body was willing, ego was in check, I was 5 by 5. And then it happened. My turn to show my stuff. My ego raced out there and took control, hard, fast, wide, move boy move!! My mind jumped in and screamed "that's not how we practiced this, slow down you fool!!". My body said "whoa old fella, you are gonna break a hip!". Then I faltered, I forgot everything I had come up with. Icebergs appeared in my flow, huge obstacles blocking my way, first a missed move, then a mental stumble as I tried to recover, my landmarks in the basement were gone, no way to recover. Fail! Or was it.

   In Saturdays meeting, we talked about Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. One of the "lessons/ideals/philosophies?" in the book is about the ego climber. That was me on Thursday. I approached the demo in totally the wrong way. The demo was a hurtle to me, not a chance to grow from the experience. I didn't stop and smell the roses, I raced towards the finish line to get the job done. I missed everything that the demo was supposed to bring out in me. I missed everything Zen was teaching me. It took a couple of days for this to sink in, and when it did, boom. I think I get it now. Now to apply it.

   So I will work on my demo some more, I will enjoy my progress AND my stumbles. This isn't a race, it is a journey. Now that it is a little nicer outside, I can get out and practice in the great outdoors, spreading my wings, stretching my form, finishing my techniques, breathing!!

Tic Tok

    Last night at supper, the family and I were discussing Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I was actually quiet surprised how much of the context of the book I was able to discuss from memory because it has been a year since I last read the book. It also made me realize that I haven't finished the assigned questions for black belt grading. I am about 3/4 of the way done the assignment but put it on the back burner so Deb and Kody could read my copy of the book. It is now 6 months since I stopped my work on the questions and I still haven't finished, bad Don. I will rectify that immediately. 

   This brings me to where I am at. Time. Putting things off till later. Procrastination. I know I only have a finite amount of "laters: left. And procrastination is killing them off one by one. All on me. Just thinking about time stresses me out. A good portion of my wasted time is spent waiting on others. This no longer serves me. I use that as an excuse to procrastinate, and it eats away at what little time I have left. I need to start using my time so that it serves me first, or I will never get done what I want to get done in life. So no more waiting, I have things to do and NO time to waste.

Edge of an Old Guy Rant

   It's funny how as I age I start to sound like the stereotypical old guy, you know, "get off my lawn you young punks", or "I remember when", or "kids today", etc... makes me laugh at myself sometimes. In my minds eye, I'm still 25 or 30 or 40 or 45, in reality, not so much. This reality really shows it's wrinkly old many chinned face during the fitness class. Don't get me wrong, I love the class, I need the class, but my body just doesn't seem to want to listen to the reasons why. Before the class starts, I am pumped, raring to go. During the class, there is sweat everywhere, moans and groans fill the air ( among other things ), but I am smiling ear to ear. After the class, well that is when age says to me "what was that you old fart, I think it's nap time?!". 

   This year I am really pushing myself physically. I am grabbing whatever fitness opportunity presents itself. It is hard some days to flick the go switch, but as Master Brinker says, "the best thing to do if you don't want to train is to train". I am taking that to heart this year, and I am starting to get why he says that. Like right here, right now, writing this blog, my body is saying "babble on Don, the longer the blog is, the longer you can sit and enjoy your coffee". In the words of the immortal Mr T, "shut up fool", that is my other inner voices' way of telling me to get off my butt and do some training. So off to train I go. 

P.S. I am not a fan of the time change, I keep looking at the clock thinking, yikes, it is almost 8am, get moving before it's lunch time!!

Where am I

   Been a while since I have thrown out my numbers for the world to see, my bad. Here is a brief summary of my day 24 of the Ox year so far.

Push ups     4216/50000

Sit ups        4746/50000

1609KM    174.9KM/1609KM

1000 AOK 109/1000

Hand form 12/1000

Weapon form 1/2 way to a demo worthy form (2 tomahawk style axes, still looking for the "perfect" axes)

So as I can see now that it is typed out in front of me, doing okay in some numbers and sucky in others. 

   One of my main goals this year is fitness. Yes this is a very general word, it can mean something different to every single person. To me, it means, well..... hmmm, that just stopped my train of thought dead in it's tracks. I thought I had what it means to me figured out, guess I was wrong. So hang on while I talk myself through this. 

   Do I want to live as long and healthy as possible ( I am over 50 remember ), yes. Do I want to be able to partake in any activity that presents itself, yes. Do I want to feel good about my self image and how others see me, yes ( sounds vain but I'm being honest ). Do I want to be a contributor to society or a burden, contributor of course ( more thought on this later maybe ). Do I want to "feel" that I am at my best physically and mentally, yes. So many points to ponder, so many rabbit holes to jump down, all with the same answer, "yes, I want to be the best me that I can". Fitness is one of the key steps to make this happen. 

   This year of the Ox, my family and fellow Kung Fu'ers have really stepped up their game and that is making it sooo much easier for me to do FITNESS. From Saturday morning fitness classes with Sifu Thomson, to the hip opening challenge by Mrs Ferris, Tai Chi with Sifu Dennis, regular evening classes, the I Ho Chaun and the my wife putting out weekly challenges, the list goes on and on. All of it pure gold. 

   If left up to my own devices, I might force myself to do maybe do 1/2 of what I am doing now. But because of the actions of all those around me, if I fail, it's not just me I am affecting. I need that pressure I guess, it seems to drive me a little harder, it is necessary in my training. This is a good thing, it helps me see who I am in this for, mental fitness time. Please don't take this last paragraph the wrong way, it was an light bulb moment that I need to spend some time with.

   I don't think I really answered my question on fitness, so I am going to go train for a while and peel back some more layers of that onion. 

Step it up

    I have had a hard time choosing a path for this blog. The reason?  Other people's blogs. This past month or so, the quality and quantity of the blogging of others has grown big time. It has made me re-evaluate what I am writing about and who I am writing for. Like Master Brinker says, an onion, kung fu is like an onion, peel back the layers and your kung fu will start to reveal itself. I feel I have been stopping at the outer layer, not diving in to the juicy smelly center like I should. The blogs of my fellow Ox mates has nicely redirected my thoughts about the "blog", about my hesitation(?) to dive in. Now I need to find a way to delve deeper into both myself and my kung fu, as well as express it in blog form ( oh look, another form to learn - insert cheer here ).

   All joking aside, I am very grateful for this. The blogs that have been put out there are allowing me to see kung fu through the eyes of others, not just my two eyes but many sets of eyes, many different perspectives. For every gem of a blog, another layer of onion falls aside, so keep it up Oxers, you are guiding me in ways that you never realized. You people rock!

Different but still Great

    Virtual Chinese New Year via Zoom, Feb 20,2021. I personally think it worked out great! This was definitely making lemonade out of lemons, but it was delicious none the less. Hats off to Master Brinker and his crew for making this possible. Fantastic!

   Congrats to Silent River's 4 new Black Belts, great job guys, well deserved. I am looking forward to what the future brings you guys. It is a pleasure to train with you young men, cheers!

   Congrats to the Black Belts who received a promotion last might, spot on perfect. Never have I known a finer group of people who deserved this more.

   Is this the new norm? Will we be doing this the same over the next year, or two? I sure hope not, but if it is, so be it. I squandered away last year waiting for the pandemic to magically go away, obviously it didn't. That is not going to happen again this year, or any other, life is fleeting, I've wasted to much time waiting for things to happen. No more waiting, I must find a way to move forward, embracing whatever our crazy world brings. 

   Time to do and not talk, going to so some training, see ya soon.

Donald Robert Bjorkquist - Me

   The Nafudakake stick. A simple slat of wood. A name and a date(s) burned into it. Fragile, singular, unassuming. But what they represent when looked at together, oh my, unmistakably powerful, the unity, the mastery, the lineage, the togetherness, the blood sweat and tears that is the Black Belts of Silent River Kung Fu and the Kung Fu that they represent. Earth shaking! 

   I have spent some time looking at these badges of honor, wishing I could have met every single one of these remarkable individuals. I have read through the names, some I have had the privilege of being taught by, some I have never known and may never know, some have sadly passed on and I will only know through others. Oh to hear their stories, their journey, to learn from each and every one of them, what a dream that would be. 

   This bring me to Me. I don't usually go to in depth into who I actually am, but if I can't know all of these Black Belts personally, maybe they can at least know me a little. 

   I was born May 1st 1970,  Donald (my mom's brother and her dad's name) Robert (my dad's name) Bjorkquist (Swedish - actually means Birch tree/bark) in Edmonton Alberta. Robert (Bob) and Victoria (Vicki) Bjorkquist (nee Smith), my two wonderful parents, also older sister Kimberly (Kim) raised me with love and care. We lived in Edmonton for the first bit of my life, then at the age of 2ish, we moved to St. Albert where I would spend the next 17 years of my life. I did well in school, loved high school actually, had many a friend both dear and fleeting. It was a very pleasant place and time to grow up. I lived in the same house for most of my young life, some might find that boring, I found that very comforting. My mom still lives in the same house, 47 years and counting! My dad sadly passed away March 12, 2019. Much of what I learned about love and relationships I learned from my mother and father, they where best friends and deeply in love right till the end. I miss my dad every day.

   In the late 80's and for most of the 90's, I tried to find my way in life, forge my own path, or at least look like I was. Honestly, I had no real direction, I floated through those days never really with any purpose or plan, lost. I attended some post secondary schooling, both in accounting and automotive parts and both at NAIT, but decided to work full time instead of getting a degree/ticket. That was a huge mistake I still regret to this day. Mostly I was in the parts industry, but I did do a 2 1/2 year stint working for Alberta Family and Social Services as an accounting clerk. I just couldn't take the hypocrisy, waste and constant disbelief of my superiors decisions in the government, and computer advances pretty much wiped out my department in the mid 90's anyways, so I moved on and ended up back in the parts industry where I am to this day. I have been at my current job for over 20 years, it is good place to work, good bosses, mostly loyal staff, and a new challenge everyday. 

   Enter the 2000's. May long weekend 2001, I went on a date with my soon to be wife Deb. This was a life changing moment for me as I knew I had finally found the "one" on the very first date. With her by my side, the world changed. I moved out to Stony Plain shortly after we started dating, away from what I thought was the life I wanted, to my new life, the one I truly needed. Since then I have become a Husband and a Father and now a Grandfather, all of these things incredibly important things to me. We have lived in the same house in Spruce Grove for over 18 years this march (2003). My son Kody (15)  is a vibrant caring young man, I am very proud of his accomplishments in life and watching him succeed is paramount to me. Family is everything.

   Now enter Master Jeff Brinker and Silent River Kung Fu. Whoa, hang on there, we need a little back story here. While trying to find my way in the late 90's and early 2000's, I dabbled in the martial arts, Muay Thai kick boxing and Chinese Boxing. Both have there merits, neither one was for me. I wasn't looking to hurt or dominate, I was looking for a path to follow, one of enlightenment not aggression and violence. I new I wanted Kung Fu. So when Kody was old enough, I sought out Silent River and I sat down with the man who would shape my son into more than I could ever hope for. Within seconds of our meeting I knew this was the place. One month before Kody's 3rd birthday, we enrolled him in tiny tigers and he has been at Silent River ever since, almost 13 years and counting. Deb and I enrolled 7 years ago this coming march (2014) once Kody was old enough to be in classes on the same night as us. And the rest is, as they say, history. Kung fu is now an integral part of my life, both physically and spiritually. Every day, I learn and grow because of my affiliation with the remarkable people that are Silent River Kung Fu. 

   So this is a little about Me, just a skipping of a rock across the surface but the rest is just filler. I hope this gets you to know Me a little more. If you want more, come on over, my door is always open, the conversation is random and fun and the friendship is genuine. 

Thanks

Don

Rat Summary

    This is a quick little summary of the Year of the Rat.

No Quitting   While I did quit on grading this year, I did not quit on myself

Push ups   39544/50000

Sit ups      40542/50000

Sparring   1000/1000

1609Km   1609/1609

1000 AOK   1000/1000

Hand Form   750/1000

Weapon Form  700/1000

Mend a relationship  I was kind to many, some reciprocated, others not so much, so I tried..

Journal once a week  yes

3 public appearances  no

Lion dance  1 dance with Sifu Lindstom  yes

Tiger Challenge   yes

Miss No Meetings  Was at all meetings

Excel in Curriculum  not my place to judge myself

School Projects   Yes

Memorize Mastery  almost there!

   So overall not a terrible year but I see much more clearly where my weaknesses lay and I am actively going to go after them this year.

Year of the Rat Summary

    The year of the Rat 2020/21, forever to stand apart from the others for the challenges and adaptation it allowed us to have the pleasure of experiencing, be it good or bad . It was a good year for some, a devastating years for others. I honestly think the world is forever changed, I really hope for the better. I count myself and my family as being extremely fortunate to have persevered this maelstrom of change, at times horribly depressing and yet forging us into something stronger that before. Yes I miss traveling, dining in at a good restaurant, going to SRKF to work on our Kung Fu and see all our fellow classmates and instructors, visiting friends and family, FOOTBALL, many many things both important and trivial. But I am also extremely thankful that the reality of the last year has only left an ugly scar on me and my family and not a permanent devastating crater like it has for so many others. 

   I write the last paragraph to get me in the mood to analyze my numbers and progress last year. I didn't want to look at the last year from a positive or a negative standpoint, but as a overall reflection of the last year in general and why certain things either fell short of expectations or even possibly exceeded expectations. So after tallying my numbers, re-reading some blogs, and some sky staring ( this is how I like to lose myself in thought ), my mind has settled on two trains of awareness. 

   Number one, this one is the direct cause of number two. It is HEART/INTENSITY. Lack of it almost caused number two, quitting on myself. Let me explain....

   Grading this year, I "quit" my grading this year before it even started. I used the excuse in March that I was waiting for the pandemic to pass, coasting, half efforts, waiting for a miracle, even though Master Brinker had said back in February of that year that I was grading. I didn't take that seriously. I thought I had all the time in the world. WRONG!! That is all on me. I was furious with myself in September when I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't ready both physically and mentally for what was to come. It hurt me deeply to give up like that, it was far to easy to give up, it made me question why I was even doing what I was doing. Looking inward like that was new for me, and I am really glad it happened. Wait, am I saying I am glad I quit? Yes. Why? It made me realize that I was going towards my Black Belt with absolutely no purpose, no intensity. I wasn't pushing myself towards mastery, I was coasting and drowning in mediocrity. That is not what a black belt is.

   So I have looked at my numbers on the year and I can see by my weekly recorded efforts exactly where I was at that time both mentally and spiritually, Thankfully I didn't stop recording my numbers, everything is recorded daily, no exceptions, even days that are a zero are recorded, this was a great reflection on where I was at every point during the year. JournalJournalJournal! This is so important! Anyways....

   In reflection on the year of the Rat, I will miss you and the lessons that you taught me, you are a wise teacher and a steadfast friend, but good riddance. Hello Year of the Ox. Bring it on!!

 

P.S. I will give a numbers total in next weeks blog when the year is actually over...