The year of the Rat 2020/21, forever to stand apart from the others for the challenges and adaptation it allowed us to have the pleasure of experiencing, be it good or bad . It was a good year for some, a devastating years for others. I honestly think the world is forever changed, I really hope for the better. I count myself and my family as being extremely fortunate to have persevered this maelstrom of change, at times horribly depressing and yet forging us into something stronger that before. Yes I miss traveling, dining in at a good restaurant, going to SRKF to work on our Kung Fu and see all our fellow classmates and instructors, visiting friends and family, FOOTBALL, many many things both important and trivial. But I am also extremely thankful that the reality of the last year has only left an ugly scar on me and my family and not a permanent devastating crater like it has for so many others.
I write the last paragraph to get me in the mood to analyze my numbers and progress last year. I didn't want to look at the last year from a positive or a negative standpoint, but as a overall reflection of the last year in general and why certain things either fell short of expectations or even possibly exceeded expectations. So after tallying my numbers, re-reading some blogs, and some sky staring ( this is how I like to lose myself in thought ), my mind has settled on two trains of awareness.
Number one, this one is the direct cause of number two. It is HEART/INTENSITY. Lack of it almost caused number two, quitting on myself. Let me explain....
Grading this year, I "quit" my grading this year before it even started. I used the excuse in March that I was waiting for the pandemic to pass, coasting, half efforts, waiting for a miracle, even though Master Brinker had said back in February of that year that I was grading. I didn't take that seriously. I thought I had all the time in the world. WRONG!! That is all on me. I was furious with myself in September when I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't ready both physically and mentally for what was to come. It hurt me deeply to give up like that, it was far to easy to give up, it made me question why I was even doing what I was doing. Looking inward like that was new for me, and I am really glad it happened. Wait, am I saying I am glad I quit? Yes. Why? It made me realize that I was going towards my Black Belt with absolutely no purpose, no intensity. I wasn't pushing myself towards mastery, I was coasting and drowning in mediocrity. That is not what a black belt is.
So I have looked at my numbers on the year and I can see by my weekly recorded efforts exactly where I was at that time both mentally and spiritually, Thankfully I didn't stop recording my numbers, everything is recorded daily, no exceptions, even days that are a zero are recorded, this was a great reflection on where I was at every point during the year. JournalJournalJournal! This is so important! Anyways....
In reflection on the year of the Rat, I will miss you and the lessons that you taught me, you are a wise teacher and a steadfast friend, but good riddance. Hello Year of the Ox. Bring it on!!
P.S. I will give a numbers total in next weeks blog when the year is actually over...
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