Easy to Read

    I am an open book. Laid bare for the world to see, ask me a question and I will give you an honest answer. Life is to short for me to not be an easy read. I try to be as positive as I can be at all times, even when I am getting kicked in the (fill in what you like). I have been a negative person, I have been a narcissist, pessimist, mean spirited, etc. I look back at that previous me and wonder how I ever survived. It was eating me alive, it was a dead end. 

   Then it all changed, I found the martial arts and my wife (Deb), almost at the exact same time (coincidence?? or providence??). The world was suddenly brighter, life made sense finally. At last, I had (and have) a purpose. 

   That is why this last weekend was a kick to the soft squishy underbelly for me, a real eye opener. Fitness and forms for 5-1/2 hours, what could possibly go wrong, right? Well, everything and nothing, all at the same time. Believe it or not, I loved every second of it, even the 2km run. I felt alive, I was part of something greater than me, I testing myself, pushing myself, seeing what I was made of. 

   I may not have been overly happy with the end results but now I have a much better understanding of ME. I surprised myself and disappointed myself, all at the same time. Yes I found myself holding back on certain things, now I can ask myself why, and what it is going to take for me to give it everything I have, not 90% but 100%. Yes I was as nervous as stink when I was doing my forms, but holy smack did I learn from this, sooo much insight, so much to correct and work on. To do the fitness test from start to finish, to do the school forms in front of the SRKF grading board, this is life changing. I am only just now starting to fully comprehend the magnitude of the things I learned. 

   I will continue to blog as I have more insight to this, but for now suffice to say, wow, this is why I am in Kung Fu. Where else can I learn so much about me by failing so spectacularly? Where else do so many people want you to succeed, where else is failure actually success?

   This may not have come across the way I wanted but I am still processing "stuff". more to follow.