Aftermath

    Tough week. As you all probably saw on Thursday, I may have been in class physically but mentally I was somewhere else entirely. Without going into the gory details, I was struggling, big time. I did not want to be there - at all. I was angry, I was dark, I was on the edge of walking away. I was somewhere I NEVER thought I would be. 

   The one thing you should never let me do is stew over something, even if it had very little to do with me. I have a very active mind, and that is not a good thing. I don't just blow things out of proportion, I lay waste with a nuclear onslaught leaving nothing to live. I thought I had this anger under control because no good has ever come from it, only pure destruction. It had never crossed over into my Kung Fu life before. This time I allowed it to creep in and it sent me spiraling to a very scary place. 

   But I managed to beat it this time, with the help of the best people a person could ever know. Master Brinker, Master Rybak and Master Hayes, thank you for pulling me back in. I need Kung Fu, it is my safe place. It keeps me real, it keeps me calm, it is my oasis in a sea of ugly. 

   My apologizes to the team for my abysmal effort on Thursday, I made a promise to not only all of you but to SRKF when I joined the I Ho Chuan, I will do better at living up to it.

   And my apologizes to my family for me being so dramatic that they fear what I may say or do when I get mad. That can't happen anymore. 

This was a very hard blog to write, I do not want to post it but I will anyways.