Blurry Brain

   Not sure why but lately my mind has been very scattered. Life just seems to be passing by, me just watching as it goes.  Even events that should make me smile are just meh. Not sure where this funk has come from but I don't like it. So even though it is early and everyone in the house is still asleep, I am going to get off my butt and go do some Kung Fu, meaningful repetitions not just maintenance.

Push Ups 26376

Sit Ups 24351

Sparring 640

1609KM   1726.47 km

Acts of Kindness 1450 Recorded

Hand Form 530

Weapon Form 550

Mastery recited 18

Warm Ups

   Every once in a while I get to do the kid's warm up and for that I am grateful. I do still feel the same stress as if it is my first time doing a warm up regardless of whether or not it be in front of the kids or adults. I'm just not a big fan of being the center of attention, I tend to get inside my own head almost immediately. What to do what to do......? Do I cardio this one? Do I make it a fun one for the kids? Do I go hard or do I vary my pace? Sometimes I am given a set of objectives for the warm up by the lead instructor of the class, sometimes it is all spur of the moment. And I love every moment of it. 

   Warm ups challenge me to think outside of my box. If I find myself being predictable, I tend to lose the class and I can see their mind wandering. If I go to hard, I notice a few starting to give up and just stand there.  I need to alter as I go, think on my feet (or butt if need be). To keep the students involved, the warm up  needs to be fun and challenging but still Kung Fu. I need to push and guide at the same time. I know the warm up is not the time to teach but at the same time, minor corrections during dynamic repetition are easy to do. It's a great time to push their horse stance, increase their sound focus, get them to breathe deep, and so on. And at the same time, it forces me to do all the above as well. I can't expect them to do something I am unwilling or unable to do. So I push myself and I usually find myself really enjoying it. 

   

Push Ups 26376

Sit Ups 24351

Sparring 640

1609KM   1694.34 km

Acts of Kindness 1450 Recorded

Hand Form 515

Weapon Form 500

Mastery recited 18

Bag or No Bag

   Stiff Swinging Kick to the Spine. Last Tuesday we worked on this. So much fun. So much frustration. So many new things to work on. But for me the kicker (heehee) was bag or no bag. Throwing the kick in the air feels wild and on the verge of losing control. I have a very hard time committing to the kick. 

In the air it's not the first half of the kick, it's after the target recovery that I struggle with. There is so much momentum in the leg that my balance disappears. 

With a bag, my momentum is arrested by the bag making recovery much easier. 

This points out a deficiency with my control of expansion and contraction. Another minor issue I have is repetition. After about five of these in a row on both legs, I have to stop and wait for the room to catch up to my brain. So getting in meaningful and mindful reps is very time consuming. Good thing I am not in a rush right?! So if you see me watching you do these kicks without a bag, thanks for helping me better understand "your" mechanics, maybe I can find a way to adapt them to "my" mechanics.

Push Ups  26361

Sit Ups 24351

Sparring 640

1609KM  1666.30 km

Acts of Kindness 1450 Recorded

Hand Form 505

Weapon Form 490

Mastery recited 18

Sounds

   My five senses. in particular for this blog, sound. The sounds of everyday life can be profound or mundane. Example, my work. I expect to hear certain sounds without fail. The constant buzz of the vending machines, the chatter of customers and staff, the relentless paging of the intercom for staff to pick up calls, the ultrasonic whine of my computer, and so on. They are not comforting sounds at all, but they are a part of my reality because I need a job to pay the bills and the noise is uncaring of my discomfort anyways, so I "mostly" try to ignore them. There are times I need to step away from the din and take a breath, so I do, I go on a quick walk about to survey and assess my surroundings, usually outside in the parking lot, but I am right beside 16A so really I am just trading one set of sounds for another. Grrr.

   I bring this up because of Thursday's IHC meeting. The Kwoon. The walls of the Kwoon. The people in the Kwoon. The Lions, the dragons, the pictures on the walls and on the Alter, the weapons rack, the mats, everything has a sound to me, whether it be imagined or real. And these sounds are the polar opposite to the unwanted sounds of my life outside of the Kwoon. 

   It really struck home for me while we were listening to Master Brinker talk about time. I don't know if it was where I was standing, or my imagination or just a particular moment in time, but a wave of sound seemed to wash over me and I was left dumbstruck. I was so moved by the experience I lost track of all my surrounding except for the sound of his voice. 

   It was surreal. It made me instantly appreciate my absolute pure privilege that I have been given to be around a group of people who have so dramatically altered my live for the better. I was about to share this with the group but my current state probably would have brought me to tears. So I am blogging about it to share my experience with the team.

   Thank you Silent River Kung Fu for so enriching my life.

 

 

 

Push Ups 26116

Sit Ups 24071

Sparring 640

1609KM  1628.96km

Acts of Kindness 1450 Recorded

Hand Form 505

Weapon Form 490

Mastery recited 18

Just Numbers

 Missed a week, here are the numbers from that week.

 

 

Push Ups 26066

Sit Ups 24061

Sparring 640

1609KM  1593.70km

Acts of Kindness 1425 Recorded

Hand Form 490

Weapon Form 475

Mastery recited 18

Small Piece

    Playing around with my weapon form recently I inadvertently added a small a move in just by chance. Was it accidental or intentional, who knows, it just happened. And wouldn't you know it, it fit like it was supposed to be there all along. When I tried to duplicate it, it now felt forced and disconnected. Is it footwork, is it timing, is it me being in my own head? Several repetitions later, it is starting to feel like it did the first time. I found if I just let the weapon flow like the weapon wants, it works. I also found if I allowed my imagination to "animate" my intentions, winner winner chicken dinner, it becomes a form and not a sequence. 

   I know we are close to the banquet and now is not the time to start changing my form so I will save my "play time" till after. Okay, maybe I'll sneak some fun in here and there 😏.

 

 

 

Push Ups 25768

Sit Ups 23801

Sparring 640

1609KM 1559.93km

Acts of Kindness 1400 Recorded

Hand Form 460

Weapon Form 448

Mastery recited 18

Introspective

   Todai Bauer's kindness project.

   What a great way for me to analyze my vision of those around (IHC team Dragon) me and what they bring to my life. Some people were very easy to quantify, they are just a force that can't be denied, that you can't help but take notice of. Others are more of a behind the scene presence, a gentle hand applying their "force" to you without you really noticing it at the time. Some took deep introspective for me to realize how I feel/think about that person. Either way, every single person on the IHC brings something to my table for me to digest and now I am more aware of that. I really hope you all take advantage of this project as it has made me take more notice of those around me, pulling me out of my own "ego" and  appreciating my team mates just a little bit more than I already did. 

Thank you Todai Bauer, great project.

https://nigelbauer.blogspot.com/2024/09/kindness-project.html

Push Ups 255768

Sit Ups 23801

Sparring 640

1609KM 1529.54km

Acts of Kindness   1400 Recorded

Hand Form 460

Weapon Form 448

Mastery recited 18

Scrambled Time Conundrum

    Sometimes I am absolutely amazed at how little things can blow up into big things, all it took for me is a little disruption in my daily routine. My normal routine was blown up back in mid august at work and I still haven't recovered. I lost my time in the morning to do my "thing" so I have had to find time through out the day to squeeze things in. It sucks. My numbers have plummeted, my focus has disappeared, my drive has stalled. I put myself into a holding pattern waiting for a miracle to come along and magically get everything done for me.....I am such a dreamer.

   So for now I am trying to find a new rhythm to aid in accomplishing my goals. And I am struggling. My days are full, my evenings are mostly full (sporadic) and my mornings have zero room. I am currently prioritizing tasks and adjusting set times I have to try to come up with a kinda "fit" that feels productive for me. Life is funny, so I will laugh with it instead of fighting against it. 

Push Ups 25598

Sit Ups 23631

Sparring 640

1609KM 1504.23km

Acts of Kindness  1375 Recorded

Hand Form 455

Weapon Form 448

Mastery recited 18

It Wasn't Criticism

   Criticism. It's a double edged sword, razor thin. Positive or negative. Welcomed openly or disdained. Helpful or hurtful. It all depends on both the person giving it and the one taking it. Is it from someone you admire/respect or someone you don't care for. Is it constructive or destructive? Does it hurt you ego or enlighten you to change for the better? Lots to ponder there. Another layer of my onion just got peeled away.

   After Thursday's IHC class, I was given some criticism by a fellow Student. But before the comment, I was asked if I was open to it. Of course I was open to it, always! I wasn't offended,  I wasn't hurt or angry, I was actually touched that someone else cared enough to try and make me better at Kung Fu. Great big glowing "AHA" moment for me.

   And now I am analyzing the way I "comment/criticize" other people. I know for a fact my mouth gets way ahead of my brain sometimes (ok - most times). I am quick to comment, flippant, sarcastic, and very rarely a positive influence. Ouch, writing that down hurts. What I think is positive criticism may very well be a slap to the face or an insult to another. I need to slow down the wordage and think before I speak, and not just in Kung Fu but in my daily life as well. That will truly be a challenge. 

   So thank you for the criticism Sihing Burke, your comment may have just changed my life, for the better of course.

 

 

Push Ups 25568

Sit Ups 23631

Sparring 640

1609KM 1464.81km

Acts of Kindness 1350 Recorded

Hand Form 450

Weapon Form 440

Mastery recited 18

Front Side Thrust Heel

   Front thrust kick, side heel kick. Apparently I am combining them on my left leg when doing a front thrust kick. I am twisting my left ankle to start the rotation that I would use for a side heel. How did I not notice this? The kick felt correct to me. The kick felt good, the kick felt strong, why would I question anything? I now see I have became complacent in my execution of the technique, crap.

   Mediocrity had crept in and I failed to notice.

   It took an outside eye to notice that things had gone wrong (thanks Deb😉) and I am grateful for that critique, it was a poke to my eye for detail. 

  Now, what else have I let fall apart? 

Push Ups 25268

Sit Ups 23331

Sparring 640

1609KM 142639km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1325

Hand Form 434

Weapon Form 415

Mastery recited 18

Why I mow

    I don't have to mow the lawns at the Kwoon. I don't have to sweep and clean the Kwoon. I don't have to mop after class. I do it because I want to give back. I do it because it helps Silent River stay pleasing not just to the eyes but also to the soul. I do it because I am proud to be part of this wonderful school. I do it to bring my family closer together. I do it because it brings me a sense of pride when the school looks clean and tidy. I do it because I can. 

   When Kody and I cut the lawns or when Deb, Kody and I sweep and clean the Kwoon, I feel a sense of peace. This school has brought not just Kung Fu into my life but brought my family closer together. To see my son mowing the lawns of his on volition, I grin ear to ear. I know that he will be okay in life, I can see he "gets it". Watching Deb sweep, getting every little sequence from the lions, I see the Black Belt in her, working towards perfection, "good enough" is not good enough. These two souls have found me and made me whole, so proud of them.

   So why do I mow? I mow because I must. It is a part of my martial arts journey. I can not and will not sit on the sidelines watching, I will not wait for someone else to do it, I will do whats right for me to feel like I am giving back, even if it is just an ice cube in an iceberg. 

 

Push Ups 24865

Sit Ups 22931

Sparring 595 unchanged

1609KM 1392.60km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1300 unchanged

Hand Form 434

Weapon Form 411

Mastery recited 18

Slip of the Intent

    "That was not what I intended". This just keeps racing through my mind. My intent was to spark some interest in our charities to the Young Dragons. One word, that was all it took to derail everything I had already done. Now the entire focus was on that one word. No! Where is my time machine? Right, there is no such thing. Now I must own that terrible moment. I don't want it but it is mine and mine alone. Crap.

   What did I learn from this? Intent is very hard to keep pure if you are not in the moment. My mind was already somewhere else when this happened. I was more concerned with wrapping things up than I was in getting the Young Dragons excited in our charities. Double crap. Now what? Try to repair the damage? Pretend it never happened and move on? I guess I will gauge that next week in class. Triple crap.

   So now to apply this to my Kung Fu because everything I do affects my Kung Fu. It's not like the idea of intent is new to my journey, it may have been brought up here and there. But this was example of losing my intent that was about as subtle as a wrecking ball. So does this mean I gather my intents close to me and over analyze the crap out of everything or I do or extend my being to allow my intents to purify themselves through experiences.? Or somewhere in the middle? 

   I cannot stress just how much this has altered my view of myself. It is as though stepping through that portal of "intentlessness" has opened countless more opportunities to right my journey. How I learn from this will help me understand myself a little bit more me thinks.

   And none of this would have happened if I wasn't given the opportunity to teach. I have learned SO much about myself in the short time I have been involved in helping to instruct fellow students in class. It is the key to my success, without it, my Kung Fu would have not progressed to where it is  today. So thank you for allowing me to be a part of Silent River, it has changed me forever.

 

 

Push Ups 24618

Sit Ups 22681

Sparring 595 unchanged

1609KM 1366.85km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1300 unchanged

Hand Form 430

Weapon Form 401 unchanged

Mastery recited 18

Universal Truths?

   Funny how things connect sometimes. While working with my Physiotherapist Karen, we were chatting about posture, breathing and low and behold, centering. Stop the presses,  I need to hear her view on this. Now she was approaching it from a Pilates point of view but the similarities were remarkable. We talked compression and expansion,  breathing to your core/center, and muscle interaction between quadrants of your body and so on. Sounds pretty familiar to me I think 😀. So I countered her Pilates with our six harmonies. So many concepts were the same but just slightly different that we were both grinning as we compared notes. 

   One exercise she has me doing has to do with engaging the vertebra one at a time starting at the base of the scull and slowly rolling/engaging all the way down to my pelvis. Shoulder, arms, diaphragm, hips, all engaging separately but together (sound familiar?). Took a bit to get this Pilates move down (very beginner understanding by me so far) but once I vaguely got the basics it felt really good. There are so many steps to make this work, so many separate parts that need to work together to make this effective. Cool! 

   This was just like learning a new form. Learn the steps, apply intent to the steps, allow the steps to write their own vocabulary, enjoy. As I write this I realize I am behind on my reps (Whoops - sorry Karen ).

    So as it tends to happen, the connections between Kung Fu and the vast universe appear everywhere if I just allow these gems to show themselves to me. Western medicine and eastern healing are intertwined whether they like it or not. Foundations of healing thousands of years old are slowly revealing themselves, silently sometimes, to the resistance of the "established" doctrine of western healing. Anyways....

    So to sum it up, Kung Fu is everywhere, and I love it when it unexpectedly peeks around a corner at me and smiles saying "got ya".

 

Push Ups  24378

Sit Ups  22321

Sparring  595

1609KM  1330.55km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1300

Hand Form  421

Weapon Form  401

Mastery recited 18

The Pros Know a Better Way

   Update on my shoulders. After the better part of five years, my shoulders have finally been diagnosed to the point of treatment. It was, and is, a fairly frustrating process but here I finally am. Now I can make a purposeful plan to move forward with some kind of treatment, FINALLY!

   I saw three professionals last week. One physiotherapist (Monday-Karen), one massage therapist (Wednesday-Alesha) and one acupuncturist (Thursday-Nigel). By Thursday afternoon, I had motion and minimum pain like I haven't felt (not felt?) in decades. Now being Sunday morning that has diminished a bit, but I now know what is possible with just one series of treatments. I am excited to repeat this next week and I am hoping for similar results. A lot of this requires me to do my "exercises", but that is such a small investment in myself it is a no-brainer.

And this gets me excited for Kung Fu. 

   Expansion. I love the idea/reason/necessity for expansion but I shy away from it because of the pain it can cause me. Extending myself to fully expand is something I haven't done in quite a while (years!!). And that prevents me from doing so much of what I need to do to fully engage my six harmonies that at times it frustrates me to no end. I really notice it in my forms. And I have been using it as a crutch, an excuse. But hopefully I can now minimize this impediment and move forward, fully experiencing the joy of expansion (I'm smiling right now). 

   It will be slow and cautious at first, expanding slowly to my "maximum", I don't want to overdo it right out of the gate, but once I have tested my "boundaries", I will dip my toe outside of them and see how wondrous that can feel.

   Is this a new chapter in my Kung Fu journey? Why yes, yes it is. Sweeeeeet.

 

Push Ups  23778

Sit Ups   217211

Sparring   550 (unchanged)

1609KM   1296.74km

Acts of Kindness Recorded  1250 ( zero recorded - my bad - lazy)

Hand Form   410

Weapon Form    375 (unchanged)

Mastery recited 18

Maintain Inspiration

   It was a good week. Lots of engagement, lots of sweat and activity. Just cruzin along. After last weeks' lack of a blog, I came to some realizations. Sometimes inspiration is just plain old elusive and regular maintenance is okay in the meantime. 

   I was very frustrated last week. I felt I had absolutely nothing to blog about. Usually I have the gift of gab (digital), but last week I was bogged down with overthinking about what to blog about. I had nothing that stood out and felt "special". Why why why?! I am training regularly, I go to as many classes as I am physically able to, I pay attention, I participate, I engage. So why was there no inspiration to be found? 

   Am I over Kung Fuing, exhausting myself physically and mentally? Na, that's silly. Am I thinking to much and not enjoying where I am and what I am doing? Getting closer. Is it a combination of both? Maybe. Again, I could chase this and overthink it to death but I won't. I'll just do some Kung Fu and let the universe direct me and guide me.

   So to wrap this up. I cannot force inspiration, it must happen all by itself. But I must give it opportunity to present itself and this comes through purposeful and intentional training and engagement. If there is no inspiration I know it is me and not Kung Fu that is the culprit.

 

.Deb and Bailey enjoying a little quiet time on the shore of Lake Edith at my cousin Mike's cabin in Jasper. Beautiful.

My Cousin Mike and his new Tahoe, delivered to him in Jasper yesterday by Deb, Kody and I, all smiles from him, another step for him to recovering losing so much in the Jasper wildfire. He lost his house, absolutely burnt to the ground, nothing at all left. Everything he had that was his mother's, gone. Everything from the first 60+ years of his life is no more - ashes. My heart aches for him but like I said to him yesterday, now it's his turn. He has given so much to so many in his life, now it is coming back to him ten fold. He is loved by many and whether he likes it or not, we will give back to him till he is tired of our faces. Love you my brother from another mother.

P.S. The wildfire not only took his house but was within a 100' of taking his cabin as well. So a HUGE thank you to every single person who fought this monstrous demon of a fire, Heros, every single one of you, true heros, thank you.

Push Ups  23058

Sit Ups   21001

Sparring   550

1609KM km   1258.79km

Acts of Kindness Recorded  1250

Hand Form   400

Weapon Form    375

Mastery recited 18

Zero

   For the first time in a long time, I have no topic. I am feeling mentally blocked. I actually feel mentally exhausted to tell the truth. So I am using this as my mulligan (golf thing). Once the cork pops or the mental dam breaks, I will write a blog, promise.

P/UP  22458

S/UP  20391

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609KM 1222.5 km

AOK  1212 recorded

HAND FORM 380 (unchanged)

WEAPON FORM 360 (unchanged)

MASTERY 18

Whirlwind

    So much has happened in the past week and a half. 

   Lets start with last Friday and Sunday, double header of a band I have wanted to see for the past 43 years, Metallica. Kody and I shared what I hope will be a lasting father/son moment(s). Sure I wasn't a fan of all the smoking/vaping/toking but it was a small price to pay for the spectacle that is Metallica. What a show(s). I will remember it fondly for many years to come.

   Then there was Back to School Week. A mammoth shout out to Mr Mike Kohut, you put in a phenomenal amount of time and effort. Thank you! From the bulk head to the mop closet to the men's change room to the new toilets, well done sir! Even with a sore back you did an amazing job and showed leadership like no one else. And for everyone else who put in the time and effort to help out, Bravo!! I am not going to list everyone and what they did, they know, so thank you.

P.S. A shout out to the Smith-Jansen girls, students like you two are the future of this school, you two Rock!!

   Now for my training, non-existent this week. From having to be at work before 6am all week (short staffed) to being at the Kwoon to working on my pergola, my days were very full. Funny how sometimes taking holidays turns into being twice as busy as being at work. I am looking forward to being back at work so I can slowdown a little (haha). I laugh cause it is the beginning of tire season, the next two and a half months are pretty much chaos for me. 

P.S.S Speacking of my pergola....

99.9% done!! Just some fine tuning and a few more odds and ends to go. Thank you Kody and Deb for your help pushing me hard to get t this point.

So looking forward to getting back to some normalcy such as it is.

 

P/UP  21978 (unchanged)

S/UP  19951 (unchanged)

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609KM 1183.84 km

AOK  1100 recorded

HAND FORM 380 (unchanged)

WEAPON FORM 360

MASTERY 18 funny how this hasn't changed in a while, gotta change that x 2 +1

Maintenance

   I am super frustrated. I know I have not looked after my body properly in the past, poor diet and lack of exercise. I know I am getting old and stuff is starting to break down, arthritis. I know I talk (complain) about it a lot. I know I need to accept my limitations as I age. And so on and so on..... But it is super frustrating for me. I thought I was Superman.

   Not being able to participate in even the simplest of drills like hip throws is absolutely maddening. Standing on the sidelines and watching EVERYONE else do the drills breaks my heart. I wanna learn and participate, I wanna do what I need to to further my path as a black belt, but I know what will happen if I do. Even one ill paced move or fall and I am done for the night if not the week or longer. I WANT TO SCREAM!! 

   I have been to the doctors, I know my left shoulder is most likely permanent (arthritis) without some sort of surgery. I have my MRI for my left shoulder this week, my fingers are crossed, maybe they will find some kinda Voodoo or magical spell to reverse the effects of aging and abuse, my hopes are high but delusional. 

   My right shoulder is another story. Ironically I injured it days before getting my left shoulder assessed. And it is a very different kinda pain. It's like a stubbed pinky toe, toothache and paper cut under your finger nail had a baby, an angry baby. I find out the results of that assessment Sept 9. It's like the worst Xmas present ever is just waiting for me to open it. Crap x 2.

   So I modify, I poke the limits of the threshold of where the pain is, and it frustrates me to no end. I am hesitant to do things like train hard, I am scared my body will react negatively. But I will not give up, no way no how, after all isn't pain just weakness leaving the body? 

   Thanks for letting me vent. Sometimes the bubble of disappointment that surrounds me is just too much and I need a way to feel that there is still hope, still a way to see the happiness outside my bubble.

 

 With my new schedule at work my numbers have suffered but I am finding ways to adapt, 👍

P/UP  21978

S/UP  19951

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609KM 1116.73 km

AOK  1010recorded

HAND FORM 380

WEAPON FORM 345

MASTERY 18 funny how this hasn't changed in a while, gotta change that x 2

#330 Topic is Topics

   This is my 330th blog. Looking back on some of my blogs (not all - who has that kind of time?) I see rehashes of similar topic. At first I found this a little disappointing. Why am I repeating the same stuff, where are my new thoughts? Tough to answer. 

   I do train. I do attend every class I can, whether they are my classes or not. I try to be mindful of what I do. I commit as much time as I have available without jeopardizing the other priorities in my life. At times it is a juggling act, at times it is perfectly easy, balance is the word I try to apply to this.

   Kung Fu makes me happy, it brings me peace. It is a purposeful separation from the rest of the day that allows me to focus on me. My family and my dog also bring me immense amounts of peace, but it is a shared peace. Kung Fu is mine. While I do share a portion of my happiness resulting from the privilege of learning Kung Fu, I keep a little place inside me that is just mine (happy place?). Greedy and self-serving, I don't think so, I feel it is a necessity to regenerate and renew myself.  

   Anyways, I started this blog with absolutely no direction (little trick I use to overcome the "block") and just let the thought train choose it's own path Choo choo, next stop, numbers....

 

 

 

P/UP  19858

S/UP  19784

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609KM 1078.11km

AOK 980 recorded

HAND FORM 375

WEAPON FORM  325

MASTERY 18 funny how this hasn't changed in a while, gotta change that

Missed but not Wasted

    Missed opportunity. I missed open training yesterday. I know it is not a mandatory class but that is irrelevant. It is an opportunity to train. I got busy working in the back yard building the pergola (started at 7:30ish) and next thing I knew it was 9:45. I looked around at the work I was doing and decided the amount of time it would take to put everything away (tools - lots of theft in our area), clean up and head to open training versus just continuing to work with the limited time that Summer gives me to work outside, well the choice was obvious. I ended putting in almost eight hours in the yard yesterday, I got a huge amount done. It was time well spent. 

   So while I did miss the opportunity of open training, I fully used the opportunity of sweating it out in my south facing extremely hot (it was 32+ from 11 till 5) back yard. So I feel the scales are balanced. It's not like I sat inside on my butt watching Netflix eating Cheezies 😏, I utilized the day fully, and I am happy with the work I got done.

 

    I do have another blog in the works about Thursday's IHC class, just need to find the time to iron out my thoughts.

 

 

P/UP  19358

S/UP  18951

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609  1043.51KM km

AOK 935 recorded

HAND FORM 350

WEAPON FORM  315

MASTERY 18

Even Keel But Lots of Waves

    No highs, no lows, just a fairly good week. Allowing my body to correct itself by not over doing my training. Slowing down my reps and really paying attention to my hips. Looking for rotation, power emanation, transfer of motion. My best way of describing it is I am looking for a wave. Similar to a wave in water when stone is thrown in a calm pond. an epic-center or starting point. The way I walk, the way I throw a punch or block, the transition between stances, the finishing of a move, the rotation. Digging deep into my hips, looking for clues to release some more harmonious motions. Trying to feel a starting and ending point and how they work together but separately. How one hip's movement initiates reactions in the other hip. Push pull, expansion contraction, movement without exaggeration, build up and release. 

   Anyways, that is my mind's current train, choo choo all aboard.......

 

 

 

P/UP  18738

S/UP  18331

SPAR 530 min

1609 1004.83 KM km

AOK  recorded 920

HAND FORM 335

WEAPON FORM  295

MASTERY 18

Working With Wood

   I love working with wood. I have written several blogs about this before and I probably will write a few again. It brings me a certain level of inner peace in an otherwise chaotic world. Building something with my own hands is rewarding on so many levels. Now I am NOT a carpenter or engineer or whatever by any means, I have zero formal training other that a brief couple of weeks in shop class in high school (36 years ago - yikes). All I have is my imagination and time. Both are limited so I value them both when they present themselves. I also am fortunate enough to have the priceless resource of advice and help from those who have training in this art/skill.

   My latest project is a Pergola for our backyard. I of course have grandiose plans in my head, I have even doodled some of them down, but of course my lack of formal training and skills changes these plans as I progress with construction. Ironically my first major hurdle was my base for the posts, just like my Kung Fu training. Bad base equals unsteady pergola and bad base equals unstable Kung FU. Strong base makes everyone happy. Maybe this is why I like working with wood so much. Like Kung Fu, wood is forgiving yet strong, ancient yet timeless, raw but beautiful, infinitely adaptable yet precise. Wood can be worked into majestic pieces of art or it might just remain purposeful and useful. The possibilities are endless, only limited by my commitment to the final results. Just like my Kung Fu. Ironic? No. Effort equals results. Whether the results are good or bad depends on my quality of effort. 

   So my pergola (Kung Fu) takes shape, bit by bit, think by rethink, build and adapt to unforeseen obstacles. Steadily it takes shape (way to slow for my Wifypoo -pergola that is), and I am happy. Progress, pride in my work, ability to adapt, and slowly my imagined pergola takes shape.

 

P/UP 17732

S/UP 17325

SPAR 485 min

1609 972.01 KM km

AOK   894 recorded

HAND FORM 330

WEAPON FORM  295

MASTERY 18

"Hot" Topic

    Not a lot to report this week. Yes I did Kung Fu. But growth wise, minimal. Distraction pulled me in many directions at random times, such is life. But I shouldn't complain. I work indoors, so I have AC. My truck has good AC, my home has portable AC, so the heat is not a major problem for me. But those who work outside or don't have access to AC, I bow to you and your fortitude. It must be like working in a furnace, I can not imagine what it is like. Roofers, asphalters, road crews, construction, trades, all of you, I have no right to complain about the heat. To me it is an inconvenience, to you it is life and death. 

   Small class sizes. I know this time of year class attendance is usually pretty small. It's summer, it's short, it's understandable that everyone wants to take full advantage of this time of the year. What this leads to is a neat "issue?". A few classes there where more instructors than students. This was taken full advantage of by the instructors by getting to have in person One on Ones! It was nice to have one student's undivided attention in a class setting for a good twenty-ish minutes. A lot of ground got covered, a lot of "aha" moments (I hope). So while it may have only benefited a few of the students, I hope they got a boat load out of this rare opportunity.

P/UP 17327

S/UP 16905

SPAR 485 min

1609 941.15 KM km

AOK   850 recorded

HAND FORM 325

WEAPON FORM  290

MASTERY 18

Answered Myself

   Funny how sometimes something that didn't make sense or work the way you expected it to was just waiting for you to verbalize the question so you could answer it yourself. Case in point, why was my transition from a open-x to a horse stance not working. Well duh, my open-x wasn't an open-x so the transition reflected that and my horse stance sucked. 

   I had this epiphany (again it seems) in Tuesday's class. Whilst doing Long I+II, I struggled with this very transition. I raised my hand to ask why but as the words were leaving my mouth my brain said "cause your open-x sucked dippy" Well, this opened the mediocrity box. If that stance sucked, what else sucked? Frustrating and enlightening at the very same time. By my "landing foot" for my open-x being very pigeon toed (turned in? only 60 degrees instead of 90?), my horse stance was off balance and very unstable, therefor my next move felt twisted and weak which cascaded several moves until I was able to correct my trajectories.

   I have been here before. I have no one or nothing to blame but myself and the way I train. If I train poorly, it will be reflected in my forms. I was and it did. I hope to not blog about this again but that means I need to have a talk with the Marshal of my six harmonies, my Intent, and come to an understanding as to where it/I am headed.

 

 

 

P/UP 16727

S/UP 16305

SPAR 465 min

1609 KM 913.15km

AOK   840 recorded

HAND FORM 320

WEAPON FORM  280

MASTERY 18

Blender

   This last week was a doozy. From absolute disbelief at my job to an injury that was unlike no other I have ever had to some great bonding time with my family to just being thankful to make it to the next week without anything else piling on top of the chaos. 

   I will skip the work talk, it doesn't have a PG rating so it does not belong in this blog, I will write another private one to vent and work my way through that particular dung heap.

   Family time. We bought some used wood last week and after removing all the old nails and hazards, we (Deb, Kody and I) have it sanded, stained and ready for building. We are building a pergola in the backyard after twenty years of procrastination. I am so excited to get this done as it has been on  my "to do" list since we has this house built in 2003. But an opportunity came along (cheap good wood) that we couldn't pass up, so we didn't. This project will test all my skills and I look forward to every second of it.

   And last but not least, my newest injury. You have all heard me whine about my left shoulder and the pains it brings me. Well get ready, I have now hurt the other shoulder even worse so now I will be whining about both! Seriously though, wow, something so simple as showing a "long" punch to someone and POP! I could tell instantly that something was not right at all. Sucks getting old. So my training again has taken another detour. Anything to do with my shoulders has been interesting. As of today, I feel 50/50 in my shoulders. So I modify. My forms look comical but I am focusing on foot placement, limiting my arms but still keeping them engaged. Still trying to keep my six harmonies in mind whilst I modify to accommodate my current limitations. 

   And finally a big shout out to Kody for covering for me this last week. It was a huge relief knowing he was there to pick up my slack. I owe you kiddo, big time.

 

 

P/UP 16337

S/UP 15935

SPAR 450 min (unchanged)

1609 KM  882.09km

AOK  800 recorded

HAND FORM 300

WEAPON FORM 275

MASTERY 17

Psst...Pass it on.

    Ten years. March 1, 2014. That is my actual time frame actively learning the 2000+ year old Martial  Art of Kung Fu, and I haven't even scratched the surface of the vastness that is Kung Fu. Sure I have loved the Martial Arts my whole life, but from the sidelines mostly as an observer. A dabble here, a try and see there, never committing until I started at Silent River Kung Fu. And that brings many feelings to the forefront of my mind. Here is something that currently occupies my mind.

   First and foremost is teaching. What am I passing on to those around me? Are my words and actions truley what I want others to see and learn from me? In particular, the kids classes. When asked to lead a class of any sort I go into full on panic mode! I try to fine tooth comb every move and every concept. I know this is impossible and the class will and must change to suit the moment but still I plan. I draw up diagrams, I write summaries of my objectives, I discuss my plans with those around me, but I feel it is never enough, how the other instructors do this so easily baffles me to this day. I know time and experience will help me with this immensely, but I am not a patient kinda guy. I want perfection  NOW!! 😄

   Come crunch time in class I feel the presence of Mastery looking over my shoulder critiquing me. Am I teaching a school objective or a Don objective? Do these coincide in any way with each other or have I ran the class into a abyss that only I understand? Am I falling into the "do as I say not as I do" category, man I hope not!! I really hope the young students are getting out of this what I am getting from them trying to follow my "lesson". 

    What I mean by all this is, as I teach I learn. Their reactions to what I am telling them to do shows me what I actually understand about what I am teaching. Every victory they make I make, every error they make is mine to own, mine to learn from, mine to correct, utterly humbling. 

   So what is my legacy I ask myself? When I am gone, does my incredibly limited knowledge of Kung Fu die with me? As I age (we all do!) this starts to take the forefront in my thoughts. Not only do I ask "where am I, what am I doing", but I have added "what will I leave behind?". This causes an urgency in what I do. Average is the death blow to legacy, as the Tragically Hip once said "Besides, no one's interested in something you didn't do". https://youtu.be/4mXuHL_uxhU?si=lx6fArTvh74TdA1l

   Just yesterday while babysitting my granddaughters I covertly asked some questions of the oldest of the two. To my delight, I saw Maisy's face twist with thought. We where talking about kicking and punching and I told her I learned Kung Fu to learn how to kick and punch so I would never have to actually kick and punch. The look on her face was priceless. Maybe she thought I was off my rocker or maybe, just maybe, I gave her a nudge into her first step of learning the ancient art of Kung Fu. That right there could be a tiny or huge piece of my legacy.

   So I pass on what I have learned and  I learn about what I am passing on as I pass on what I have learned. I strive to do justice to the lessons I have learned so Kung Fu has a chance to live on to the next generation and so on. I try every day to live the life that a Kung Fu lifestyle demands, which is both easy and hard at the exact same time. 

   And if you are reading this blog please do the same. The true spirit of Kung Fu can only live on if it is passed on.

 

 

 

 

P/UP 16047

S/UP 15795

SPAR 450 min (unchanged)

1609 KM  839.65km

AOK  780 recorded

HAND FORM 250

WEAPON FORM 240

MASTERY 16

Unfocused and Overwhelmed

     This past week has been dismal for me. No focus at kung fu, no focus on my training, lack of energy, not feeling 100% - more like 40% or less, and then there is the icing on the cake, the north American wide cyber attack on our in house computer system (CDK) at my work. It has been a crap crap crap week. I honestly can't think of one step of progress I have made this week. Mentally and physically I am spent. 

   The biggest drain on me right now is the cyber attack. It is going to be a living HELL on me once they get it up and running again and this is consuming my every thought. Once this nightmare is resolved by our service provider, I will be putting in some very long days in the near future to get my inventory caught up and working properly again. So if I seem distant over the next little while it is most likely because I am running stocking policies and procedural scenarios in my head.  I pride myself on my inventory's exactness and organization, almost $1,000,000 with over 14,000 individual parts with less then .001% variance. I do my best to keep it pristine and accurate. This cyber attach has decimated years, no actually decades, of hard work and it is demoralizing. I will be getting pressure from multiple sides once it is operational again by people who have NO idea what they are talking about and think any monkey can do what I do, but se-lä-vē. I will take each Hydra-nightmare scenario as it appears, chopping it's head off and moving onto the next adventure.

   So I will breathe, I will focus, I will endure. I will deflect the anger and the rage and frustration with humor and understanding and of course Kung Fu! The alternative is unacceptable.

 

 

P/UP 15297

S/UP 15225

SPAR 450 min

1609 KM  795.10km

AOK  740 recorded

HAND FORM 225

WEAPON FORM 200

MASTERY 15

Summer or Not, Carry On

    As the weather gets nicer (ish), the outdoors calls. Indoor sloth turns into outdoor mayhem. So many projects to do, so many events to go to, there needs to be many more hours in the day just to get it all done. Prioritize then execute. But do I choose the 100 small things or the 5 major things? I make lists of "todo"s and pick and choose what I can actually accomplish.

   And then there is my training. There are days when it is either the weather or circumstances that limit or utterly destroy my training schedule. So I adapt, but it doesn't always work. It frustrates me but at the same time I am very fortunate to have this problem. Being busy is being involved. Football games, hockey games, family commitments, house chores, dog time, cutting 3 different lawns, family time, etc....,and of course Kung Fu. It is all things I really enjoy so I make the time for each. My life is full, and I cherish that because I know it will not always be this way. Life will change, I will change, life is inevitable.

   So I may complain about being busy, but I wouldn't change it for the world. 

 

P/UP 14707

S/UP14625

SPAR 440 min

1609 KM 753.39 km

AOK  700 recorded

HAND FORM 200

WEAPON FORM 195

MASTERY 14

Sneaky Aha Moments

    Reviewing my week just now, I was looking for Aha moments. These are essential in my training as without them mediocrity seeps in so I must be mindful of them. Que Tuesday's Black Belt class. There were two undeniable moments in that class that AGAIN have altered my thought process on the way I do certain things. 

    One was a transition in Eighteen Temple Motions. Just a simple adjustment on where to transition from one stance to the other changed the entire "mood" of  Eighteen Temple Motions, and to boot it was right near the beginning of the form. Now I am looking at my other transitions differently, advance or retraction, linear or circular, expansion or contraction, what am I trying to accomplish? Amazing how so much thought can go into something that I thought was so basic as a "simple" transition. 

    The other was about release of power. Without going into to much detail, think Bruce Lee's one inch punch. We spent a good portion of the class on this and some truly amazing insights revealed them selves. I need to spend some considerable time on this one as I need to really "feel" this one. My feet, hips, torso, shoulders, hands, head are all giving me different feedback, and I need to make them work together to truly appreciate the Six harmonies of this. 

The next thought I tried to convey was impossible for me to put into words - wow that never happens!

    Needless to say, this Aha moment has me appreciating some of the complexities of our martial art. 

 

 

 

 

P/UP 13957

S/UP 13895

SPAR 320 min (unchanged)

1609 KM 712.64 km

AOK  660 recorded

HAND FORM 160

WEAPON FORM 170 (unchained)

MASTERY 13

Six Days

    Whirlwind, chaos, monumental stress, self-doubt, then elation. That pretty much sums up the last six days for me. But I will cherish every moment because of the support I had around me. Here is the story of my six days of "fun".

   The float for the parade was I task I took on willingly, no one forced me to do it, I gladly accepted the "job". I knew it was going to be a challenge as I had never done something like this before. Sure I had helped decorate a trailer that was all built and ready to go, but NEVER from absolutely scratch. Of course I had some grandiose ideas in mind as to what I wanted to do, I wanted to build benches and weapons racks and so on, I wanted to decorate with flags and banners and with dragons everywhere to celebrate the year of the Dragon. In my mind this was going to top any float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. But then reality woke up and slapped me upside the head, it is May 27th and the parade is on June1st, that is six days including the day of the parade!! Yikes, how in the world am I going to get this done?

   Step one, get the trailer to somewhere I can work on it in my free time, you know, those minutes I have just "floating" (float - haha - get it?) around. That was Monday. The trailer was pulled out of the pit it was in and was now in a heated well lit easily accessible area, time to get moving. A quick paint job to cover the rust, which by the way was everywhere!!. Then a quick inventory of wood, measure the trailer, draw a "plan", OMG it's already 8:30Pm, neither Kody nor I have even eaten supper, time to call it a night.

   Tuesday. Busy with "life" from 6:30am till 8:30pm. No working on the trailer today. 

   Wednesday. I leave work a few hours early, it's not busy there so my boss hints for me to go work on the float, Thankfully Kody has some time to help me out today. We start at 2pm ish and go hard for a few hours, cutting wood for benches and starting to lay turf to prevent slivers. I break away for class, then right back at it for a couple of more hours. It is starting to take shape, I think.

   Thursday. Between Kody and my parts driver Jerry (thank you for your help Jerry) it is a flurry of building. Again I am allowed to leave work early to do as much as I can in the short time left. Between the three of us the turf is laid and the benches are 75% built. Then I am off to class. Back at 7:30 with the IHC team. A little chaotic but a ton gets done, great job team 👏😅, I can now breath a little. But there is still a lot to finish up.  

   Friday, it's Kody and I for about 5?+ hours. Checklist time. Benches assembled and safely secured check, turf on and trimmed check, Dragon platforms done and installed check, covers for benches on and stapled check, odds and ends overlooked and addressed (there was a lot!) check, re-trial run of trailer to truck fitment  check, truck sign attached to grill of truck done and check, I think we are 95% ready.

   Saturday. I'm at the trailer for 6:30am ish.  Make sure truck is fueled, washed and ready check. A final walk around to check for safety issues or obvious flaws, none found check. Off to Kwoon to load Lions and odds and ends, back to the trailer, everyone is there are ready. Off to the marshaling spot and then.......

Parade Time!!!!!

 

   Now I'm driving a truck and trailer full of people in a parade. Problem is I am not a trailer guy, this is a first for me, one of many over the past six days, white knuckle all the way from start to finish, I am a puddle of nervous sweat the whole way, kids EVERYWHERE on the road, OMG!!!!!! I would hate to think of what my blood pressure was, I have driven in white out blizzards that were less stressful than this. But we made it, I let out a few shaky breaths and take a moment to relive the adventure. But not too long, I totally forgot that we are now doing a demo, out comes my insane laugh, hahahaha. 

   Demo done, off to the Kwoon to unload Lions and such, apparently I am driving to fast, whoops sorry, my mind was in reset mode. Unload done, off to storage to park the trailer with the intention of disassembly to be done by Kody and I over the next week. Nope! A hand full of awesome team members unexpectedly and immediately jump right into taking the float apart. An hour later we are done, I am in awe of these people, thank you sooooo much. Kody and I do go back later and finish up some stuff but the help we had earlier turns a four hour job into a one hour job. 

   So that's my story. I tried to keep it short, I just wanted to get this done in word before it starts to fade.

 

Big Big shout out to Kody, I bet you put in 15-20+ hours of work on the trailer, I would never have had this done in time if not for you, thank you.

To everyone else who stepped up to make this float awesome, I thank you as well, every hand that helped in any way was greatly appreciated. Great job team.

 

 

P/UP 13077

S/UP 13015

SPAR 320 min

1609 KM 669.45 km

AOK  600 recorded

HAND FORM 150

WEAPON FORM 170

MASTERY 12

That Darn Mirror

   Addled. Befuddled. Wooly-headed. Confused. These are all PG rated words to use for my first moves in my hand form in the Tiger Challenge yesterday. Let me break down this train wreck. I walk into the ring, feeling good, ready, confident in what I am about to do. I say my hellos to the judges, I get permission to proceed. I step back and take a breath, then it happened......

   Back story before I proceed. When you teach someone else a form you usually "mirror" them, facing them and doing the "mirrored" techniques of what you want them to learn. Makes sense and works well. Well guess what...

   Back to my original train wreck. So I take my first step, to the right, not to the left, in Lao Gar. Immediately I know I have crashes and burned. it's the first step in the form and I am already screaming "OMG what am I doing"!!??  Well I am mirroring the first set of moves of course, you know, the ones I have done dozens of times in the kids classes. I can feel my blood pressure spike, I can feel a burning rage inside me, I've screwed up, Again. I should just stop, hang my head in shame and defeat, walk off and hide in a corner (I really want to by the way)? 

   Well thankfully I don't quit. I throw caution to the wind and wing it, somehow recovering my orientation to the form. From here on in I am hyper aware of my directions and it is consuming my every thought. I honestly DO NOT remember even finishing the form, my body was on autopilot. When it was done all I wanted to do was scream very nasty words at myself. I was furious with myself. I was seeing red, not good. It took a while to regain "Me" and carry on but I know this has set my tone for the rest of the Tiger Challenge. 

   So long story short, I actually did have a great day yesterday, I wouldn't have missed it for the world, not even the EE football home game that was on at the same time. As is usual, there are lessons for me to learn from this, apparently one of them is a rage issue and how to calm myself when it happens. Life is funny, always throwing curve balls at you, always trying to trip you up. Well life, this is for you...

 

P/UP 12,432

S/UP 12,370

SPAR 270 min

1609 KM 622.12km

AOK 525 recorded

HAND FORM 135

WEAPON FORM 155

MASTERY 11

Admit It

   I must honestly admit I have no plan for this blog, first time in a long time. Sure I have ideas, but as I put thought to them I realize I am just rehashing old thoughts, re-blogging things I have blogged about many times. I guess sometimes the old thought-pit runs a little dry. So I am just going to run with my random thoughts of the moment for this one and see where it takes me.

   But as I type this, I feel good. Life has been it's normal spurt of busyness, nothing to overwhelming, just life, and that brings a certain amount of peace with it. 

   Yes this Saturday is the Tiger Challenge AND the first Home Football game right after, awesome, two things I love in one day! It will be rushed, but so what, I will  be smiling all day long.

   Yes next Saturday is the Farmers day parade and we have a float to build from scratch, but I have 100% confidence in the team that they will pull together a kick butt product, they always do. So no worries there. 

   As for my Kung Fu, aches and pains aside, I practice, I adjust, I ask questions, I adjust more, I repeat. It progresses therefor I progress. It may be very minuet sometimes but I'll take it all in stride. The journey continues and I am just a willing passenger, enjoying every step, grateful to be allowed to be part of experience. 

   So there, a blog about nothing in particular, and I kinda liked it, see you all on the mats.

 

 

P/UP 11622

S/UP 11560

SPAR 170 min

1609 KM 581.07km

AOK 400 recorded

HAND FORM 95

WEAPON FORM 115

MASTERY 10

My Magnifying Glass

    I see you, you see me. Your actions can affect me as much as my actions can affect you. So I must have intent when I am doing my Kung Fu. My moves, words, actions all must have the proper intent every time I do them. The affect I have on others must produce the desired effect of progress that I intend.

   This is how I am trying to approaching my Kung Fu now. In case you never noticed I am a bit of a goof off. I have spent many a decade goofing around, joking around about everything, never really applying myself to the task at hand if it is too hard for me. And I have found that creeping into my Kung Fu every now and then. The goofing around equates to excuses, and the excuses equate to mediocrity. Ouch.

    Last Thursday I had the privilege of coming up with a lesson plan for the kids classes. It took me three days to come up with 15 minutes (x3 for 3 classes) of purposeful applicable intent-full Kung Fu. I felt like this was a final exam in high school (many many years ago in 1988). Prep, simulate, re-prep, re-simulate, and so on. And then it was time to face the fire, no goofing around allowed.

   Now I am by far my own hardest critic and the cracks in my plans showed up as vast fissures in my mind. First I didn't take into account the skill levels of each class, I only had one game plan for all. I had no plan "B" for when things slowed or didn't go where I intended. Second, I didn't control the class the way I should have. My focus was to narrow, I wasn't seeing the big picture as I should have. These are incredibly valuable lessons for me. It puts me in even more awe of other instructors and how flawlessly they seem to react and adapt. I can only hope that with more experience and guidance that someday down the road I too will be able to show the mastery that the instructors at our school possess.

   So by seeing the way the students reacted to my intended lesson, their actions caused me to look at my actions leading up to Thursday. I can see the flaws in my intent now, but can I change them? I guess better to ask how to change them. Their actions opened up new avenues of ideas, be them good or bad, for me. This has really caused some deep reflection on my part, and I am kinda liking where it is leading me.

   

 

P/UP 10627

S/UP 10600

SPAR 160 min (no change)

1609 KM 501.36km

AOK 350 recorded

HAND FORM 85

WEAPON FORM 100

MASTERY 9

In Awe of Reality

   How did I ever get here? 

   I'm 54 years old. I'm of Canadian/Swedish decent. I had severe Asthma as a child/young adult. I was born and raised in the Edmonton/St Albert area. I have never considered my life to extraordinary. And yet somehow I am now a Black Belt in the ancient martial art of Kung Fu. Not only that but an instructor in the kids classes in the ancient martial art of Kung Fu. This can't be real, can it? There is no world in which I ever dreamed that this is where I would be at this point in my life. I am in state of total awe.

   To be surrounded by so many amazing people, to be doing what I want to do even though I never really knew this is what I actually wanted to do, I am truly amazed each and every day I wake up to this reality. I never want to take it for granted any of the truly special people in my life. My wife, my children/grandchildren, my mother and my Kung Fu family, I love you all. You mold me into the person I am, pushing me every day to be better. Thank you, never stop.

   

 

Kat, since you are always posting songs that resonate with you, here is one of my current favs that just makes me aware of being alive. It is actually a very sad song but I change it a little to make me realize all the good in my life and how I must cherish it each and every day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYDhazgrn40

What Matters

    The Bjorkquist clan has been away all week on a family outing in Mexico. This trip has been a bucket list item of mine for 30+ years (Cabo San Lucas). It has been marvellous. Fantastic weather, food, scenery, people and most importantly, family time. We (Deb, Kody and I), have many more memories to add to our shared times together, and that is the most important thing to me. I am not saying things went perfectly, life always has bumps, but it is how you handle them that matters. We have had some room issues, tummy troubles, missed opportunities, but these are trivial compared to the unbelievable memories we will have from the time spent together enjoying life. 

   But this has been at the expense of my training and participation in Kung Fu. Poor Wifi, forgetting about our time zone difference, rushed schedule, crowded pools, and an unexpectedly strong rip tide limited what I wanted to do. Mentally I was constantly thinking about Kung Fu, but physically not so much. Needless to say I am anxious to get back at it Tuesday when we are back at home. But that will be tough as well, our plane doesn’t get in till after midnight on Monday, then customs, drive home, work on Tuesday (Deb was smart enough to take Tuesday off, I wasn’t). Poor planning on my part, oh well. 

   So while I missed a weeks worth of classes, I gained a lifetime worth of memories with those I love. Truly what matters the most to me. 

   Now to get back at it. I have numbers to work on, forms to tweak, Tiger Challenge to prepare for, classes to attend and a weeks worth of sloth to crush.

P/UP 9967 (no change)

S/UP 9840 (no change)

SPAR 160 min (no change)

1609 KM 443.28 km (watch broken, no data)

AOK 300 recorded (no change)

HAND FORM 80

WEAPON FORM 90 (no change)

MASTERY 8 

The Long and Wide of it

    When I walk on dry concrete I walk normally. When I walk on ice, I walk entirely different. Concrete is long easy relaxed stride looking at the world around me, walking on ice is akin to being a long lost relative of a penguin, short choppy steps while looking at my feet and legs. Now I could walk on concrete the same way I walk on ice but that would not only look ridiculous but it would be a total waste of energies. I could also walk on ice the way I walk on concrete but that would be down right dangerous. So they each have a place and a purpose. Used correctly, the world is good, used incorrectly, well....

   This is the way I tend to think about my stances in our many forms. Our long stance in Lao Gar may feel like it works in Da Mu Hsing but I can also feel it is not correct. A wider stance might work in Lao Gar, so why not use it? Cause It feels wrong. Well after being part of a conversation about this, a light went on a little brighter in my mind. 

   I have been playing with this lately and boy does it mess with my vectors. And after a little enlightenment from Master Briker I now understand a little better as to why. Linear versus rotational, the stances support this. LauGar is a linear vector form verses Da Mu Hsing is rotational. Now I in no way can explain this correctly because to me it is all about visualizing the flow of my movements and feeling the placement of my stances. Every once in a while I will look in a mirror to "see" if what I am doing matches what I am feeling (it rarely does). Too wide, too deep, not long enough, too tall, heel up, so on so on so on. But now I have another tool to use to fix this, my intent of vector. Width, length but not depth. Time to build another tape box on my basement floor so I can work on this. 

   Hope what I have put here in words makes so sense, it was like trying to juggle snowflakes to put this into sentences. 

    

 

P/up - 9967

S/up - 9840

Spar - 160 min 

1609 km - 443.28 km

Aok - 300 recorded

Hand form - 75

Weapon form - 90

 Mastery - 8

Why I Blog

   Excerpt from my first day at Silent River Kung Fu as a student.

March 3, 2014 Monday

 1^st night. Lots of jitters, very nervous that I am going to make a fool of myself. Instead, had a lot of fun. Started with basic kicks, front snap, front thrust, and straight leg.  Paired up with Deb and Sihing Timchuck. Went over bowing in, first 4 moves of da mu hsing. Then paired up with a young guy (didn't catch his name) to work on a submission technique. Slide to side, ridge hand to groin, lift elbow, grab arm, knife hand to chest, step on leg, hold 1 arm up and choke hold. What a combo to learn on the first night. Great people there, think we are going to really enjoy this, Deb even said she had fun (and that really makes me happy).

   This was my first. It was the first of many, many, many I have written. It is a snapshot in time. It will never happen again. It was a simple summary of my first night as a Kung Fu Martial Artist. Without this little story there is no way I would have ever remembered that moment in time. It, to me, is priceless, one of a kind, non-repeatable because that moment is gone forever. But thankfully I wrote this down and now I can look back and see where I was and what I was doing. That is why I blog!

   My blogging helps me define my thoughts. It helps me reflect on who I am. It is a staple in my life because it has transformed not only the way I look at myself but also forces me to make myself vulnerable to others. Not blogging is not an option for me. It predates my Kung Fu journey and it will continue on as long as I can still get my thoughts into coherent meaningful words to "paper". 

   I am lucky enough that blogging is actually very easy. Gift for gab? Verbal diarrhea? Take your pick, but it is a release for me to blog. I actually usually have multiple things I want to blog about, but I limit what I post as there is already enough "noise" out there. Short and sweet (usually), that is what I strive for in a blog (this one isn't really following that format, sorry). 

   So I blog. And blog. And blog. It is primarily for me, but if others read it, all the better. Thanks for reading.

P/up - 8977

S/up - 8860

Spar - 145 min (no change)

1609 km - 400.11 km

Aok - 250 recorded

Hand form - 65

Weapon form - 85 (no change)

 Mastery - 7

So Obvious

 

   It was plain and simple. I have been trying to figure out a transition in my Tiger Hook Sword form but I couldn't and it was driving me to frustration. All it took was some brilliant insight by Todai Mike Kohut. I was focused on being even on my left and right, everything equal and I just could not make that happen, grrrr. So Mike said basically "stop trying to". And then it clicked. Now I could make the transition work (sort of). So simple, stop fighting the natural flow of the weapon and just let it do it's "thing". I was trying to change the natural limitations of the weapon instead of using the weapons potential. So now if the weapon wants to go left or up or whatever, I will listen. Thanks Mike, you rock!

PS,,, have I ever said I love open training? Well guess where this happened, open training!

 

P/up - 8337

S/up -8220

Spar - 145 min

1609 km - 361.07 km

Aok - 221 recorded

Hand form - 60

Weapon form - 85

 Mastery -6

 

 

The Old Gray Mare

    Grappling. I really struggle with grappling. I totally understand the need for it, you need to be able to defend, dominate and escape if you are forced into a ground situation. But that doesn't make it any easier for me. This last week we did quite a bit of grappling, and the last few days I have really felt it's effects. I call them my ground pains. Back sore, sides sore, neck sore, you know, all the muscles that ground work tends to work differently than non-ground work. But such is life. Just because I don't like doing something doesn't mean I should avoid doing it. I just need to adjust my practice to my potential skill level. 

    I am not in the under 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 club any more and injuries last a long time. This means I need to be smart about how I grapple, not jumping in and acting like I have any business bouncing around with someone 1/2 my age and 10x my skill level. Being "stupid" can get us both injured. Being uncontrolled and reckless is dangerous so I need to grapple with care.  

My song of the Day

https://youtu.be/bsByJy9wB-I?feature=shared

P/up - 7492

S/up - 7390

Spar - 85 min

1609 km -321.57 km

Aok - 200 recorded

Hand form - 55

Weapon form - 77

 Mastery - 5

Structure and Open

   This week was frustrating. Without the structure of set class times, I did very little actual Kung Fu. One hundred percent on me! I had every opportunity but just didn't. And now I am regretting my choices. I had eleven days to work on a mountain of things that need work, but I chose to use crappy excuses to not to instead. The only positive was I did manage to add one move to my weapon technique, so a small victory there I guess. 

   On a positive note, I finally committed to one-on-ones! After a few parents and kids asking me if I did one-on-ones, I finally ran out of excuses as to why I didn't and committed some time to doing them. This might be a humbling path to go down but I am excited to see where it leads my Kung Fu. Now to hang my "open" sign out and who comes through the door. 

   

 P/up - 6682

S/up - 6610

Spar - 70 min

1609 km -236.41 km

Aok - 185 recorded

Hand form - 50

Weapon form - 75

 Mastery - 4

Gems

   Chances, opportunities, whatever you want to call it, are few and far between. Once they are gone, poof, they are gone. I had an opportunity to sit in on a conversation the other day. I almost didn't though, thought I would get more done with my day if I skipped it and just carried on muddling around. What a monumental mistake that would have been. I can't go into too many details because I am still processing the massive gem this laid in my lap. I can summarize but even that won't do it justice, I just don't have the words to properly relay it to others let alone myself yet.

So here we go........ ready??

   I have been mulling over an interview I watched with the actor Michael Caine. In it he was asked about his early days of acting and the hurdles he had to overcome. What his reply was hit true to me. He said "use the difficulty". At first I was a little baffled, it can't be that simple, can it?? So I listened to it again and it just made so much sense to me. What a great philosophy to live by.

    And then there was the conversation I had the opportunity to sit in on. Here it is..."let the style fill in the gaps". It was like two freight trains smashed into each other in my head, pieces of logic and insight scattered everywhere. Now I have to collect them and make use of them.

    So if I am struggling with a move because of whatever difficulty (real or imaginary) is in my way, can I just use that difficulty and let the style fill in the gaps. Is it that simple? I really hope so cause this might be game changing. There are so many layers on this onion to peel back, I know it is not that easy but I am excited to apply that to my training.

    So anyway, opportunities and chances, do not pass them up cause this one has blown my mind.

 

 P/up - 5832

S/up - 5760

Spar - 60 min

1609 km -252.33km

Aok - 170 recorded

Hand form - 45

Weapon form - 65

 Mastery - 3

https://www.google.com/search?q=michael+caine+interview+use+the+difficulty&client=firefox-b-d&sca_esv=d34a127615f5f538&ei=80IAZvX2MqbB0PEPrsaVoAQ&ved=0ahUKEwi1vPTsl42FAxWmIDQIHS5jBUQQ4dUDCBA&uact=5&oq=michael+caine+interview+use+the+difficulty&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiKm1pY2hhZWwgY2FpbmUgaW50ZXJ2aWV3IHVzZSB0aGUgZGlmZmljdWx0eTIGEAAYFhgeMgsQABiABBiKBRiGAzILEAAYgAQYigUYhgNIsWpQ6QlYuGJwAngBkAEAmAH7AqABzCqqAQgwLjIyLjUuM7gBA8gBAPgBAZgCIKACly3CAgoQABhHGNYEGLADwgINEAAYgAQYigUYQxiwA8ICDhAAGOQCGNYEGLAD2AEBwgITEC4YgAQYigUYQxjIAxiwA9gBAsICExAuGEMYgAQYigUYyAMYsAPYAQLCAg0QABiABBiKBRhDGLEDwgIKEAAYgAQYigUYQ8ICBRAAGIAEwgIFEC4YgATCAgsQABiABBiKBRiRAsICCxAuGIAEGIoFGJECwgImEC4YgAQYigUYkQIYlwUY3AQY3gQY4AQY9AMY8QMY9QMY9gPYAQPCAgcQABiABBgNmAMAiAYBkAYSugYGCAEQARgJugYGCAIQARgIugYGCAMQARgUkgcIMi4yMS41LjSgB5TEAQ&sclient=gws-wiz-serp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:2f9f95ac,vid:TsN18ocel3A,st:0

Pushin the Numbers to Keep Sane

    Pad my numbers. I know the reasoning behind it, injury, lack of opportunities, life's little obstacles, but it is hard to do sometimes. Padding numbers at work can be dangerous, acid from batteries on the floor, broken glass from windshields, you know, hazards. Plus we have been unnecessarily busy at work with the owners latest "Project". My staff is constantly being pulled away from their actual job to cater to the whims of the owner of the business, forcing me to do their jobs instead of mine and I am powerless to do anything about it because in his opinion (and he has told me this!), working in parts is easy, anyone can do it. It is incredibly frustrating, and it affects me outside of work and that frustrates me even more. It is a cycle that is hard to break because I know it will all begin again Monday morning, grrrrr. 

   But... I am comfortable there because and I am 9 minutes from my home so travel is easy (I get to see my Pup everyday for lunch!), the hours are ideal for me to help out at Kung Fu (6:30ish am to 3:30ish pm) and like it or not, I have been there 24 years and I am only a few years away from semi-retirement (I hope). So making a change in career right now isn't really worth it. 

   So this brings up Mastery. I used to be proud of my pristinely organized parts department. Inventory every year was bang on, shelves were clean and meticulously organized, my staff tried their best to uphold my standard. Now with our daily, no scratch that, hourly interruptions in our jobs, that is gone. Not just from them, but from me as well. I have tried to talk to my boss (Tom) about it and he freely admits he is powerless as well but understands my frustration. I count that as a minor victory, VERY minor.

   Unfortunately this has snaked its way into my Kung Fu. I find myself "good enough-ing" many many things. Proof to me was my Beta forms and my acceptance of "Meh - that will do". What the Hell!! And that made me even madder at myself. That is not who I want to be. 

   So that brings me all the way back around to my numbers. I think channeling my frustration into upping my numbers is something I can control (at home) for now, going back to the basic requirements of the IHC that I commited too could very well be the key for me to get through this poop storm I am currently trying to navigate. Reconnecting by disconnecting if you will. 

   Thanks for letting me rant.... and here are my no-padded numbers.

 P/up -4907

S/up -4845

Spar -35

1609 km -213.41km

Aok -145

Hand form - 35

Weapon form - 60

 Mastery -2

Beta

 I usually only do posts on Sunday mornings. It’s kinda a thing with me. It’s usually the only time I touch a computer at home. But I’ll do a quick one about my Beta form tonight. 

It went well. Not perfect, not good, but well. I had concerns about my shoulder and hip/knee holding me back but thanks to some great physio and an awesome massage it wasn’t to bad. I missed some transitions between moves, I hesitated to do a couple of move cause they just weren’t there yet,  but all in all not terrible. Naked skeleton, that’s what I’ll call it. Now to put sone meat on the bones. 

Why Am I Here?

    That was the question asked by Sifu Rybak. My answer could turn into an epic story but I will summarize it in eight words, "because it is where I need to be".

   Sounds simple but let me shed a little light on that (sorry, I lied, it is much more that eight words).

   Kung Fu grounds me. It is a constant reset of my values and intentions. It is an ever expanding bubble of positive influence, centering at the Kwoon and expanding outwards with me every where I go. When I find  have gone to the edges of that influence, it allows me to push just a little bit beyond it without rupturing. Kung Fu allows me the privilege of confidence, the exultation of inner peace, and the ability to live and love without fear. It challenges me, it holds me accountable to my actions, it shows me the "way" without forcing me to follow. It is the cornerstone in who I am and who I strive to be.

   So as you can see, those eight words, "because it is where I need to be", summarize an epic novel that is my life.

P/up - 4082

S/up - 4020

Spar - 30

1609 km - 174.19

Aok - 133

Hand form - 25

Weapon form - 52

 Mastery -1

Inspire Through Actions

   Do as I say, not as I do. Probably the worst way to inspire someone into action. I say this because I got a glowing example of this this previous week. I don't remember the exact day or what class but here is the scene. 

   During class warmup, whomever was at the front leading the warm up (sorry - don't remember who it was) was getting the class to do some push ups. The instructor was doing push ups with them but some were only putting in, at best, half an effort. In jumps Master Brinker in the last row and starts blasting out push ups like a man possessed. The look on the kids faces was priceless! And their effort increased ten fold!! That was leading by example right there! It even woke me up and I jumped in as well, showing me I was not participating at a Black Belt level. My bad, lesson learned.

    So how can I expect fellow students to listen to me and give it their all if I don't? How can I give half an effort but expect others around me to step up and give it 100%? 

   Anyways, it always amazes me where and when lessons suddenly appear as if by cosmic necessity, showing me that I am slipping into mediocrity without even knowing it. Awesome...

P/up - 3292

S/up - 3260

Spar - 20

1609 km - 133.45

Aok -  125

Hand form - 19

Weapon form - 42 (beta close - I think) 

 Mastery - 1

Lots of Questions

   Again I am going to praise open training. This Saturday is no different. Started doing my thing (workin on my beta weapon form), got some advice from fellow students on the "look" on certain moves, either applied or adapted, moved on. Excellent, making progress. Took a bit of a break after almost one hour of this (time flies when your swingin weapons!), took a peek around to see what everyone else was up to. Cool, Kung Fu everywhere. I observed a few things that opened up some questions about how I would do the same move, neat, questions I didn't know I had, one of the many benefits of open training. 

   One of the questions asked by Todai Voght about a certain move in Lao Gar stopped my brain and forced it to ponder. I knew the answer but her way had merit and value, plus it really worked for her. So was I wrong? Ahh intent, you poke your head in at the best of times. I hope I didn't add confusion to her question instead of answers but such is Kung Fu. Two different ways of achieving the same result, two different intents but with similar results. So home I went to try both ways until my thoughts are clearer on this, and I still find value in both ways depending on which intent I use, awesome. 

   The move, incase you wanted to know, was in part two when you are in your horse stance with the right hand on your right hip and the left hand cradled in your palm, are you stepping in to the next stance (right leg steps out to the right to a bow) or are you "kicking (bad word but you get it)" out your left leg and pivoting your right to a bow stance? This is just a sprinkle of the discussion we had. I tried it her way, she tried it my way, we each explained our intent (mostly), and so on. So there you go, try both, figure out the difference.

   So this was one of a few questions I found just floating around, waiting to be asked, waiting to be discovered, hidden in plain site. 

   I love open training. 

P/up - 2377

S/up - 2360

Spar - 20

1609 km - 93.62km

Aok -  125

Hand form - 23

Weapon form - got weapon 5 days ago, making form (25 reps of imagination)

 Mastery - 1

Value

    I don't usually write two blogs in a week as there is already so much to keep up with in our daily lives, but this one excited the crap out of me so much I just had to share it's value to me.

   13 Black Belts (1 on zoom) all together at one time. The reason for this mass gathering of Martial Artists? Tai Chi. That's right, Tai Chi. 13 Black Belts, 2 of them master level instructors. When I realized what I was looking at last night in class, I was awestruck! I had to take a moment and actually fully appreciate where I was and what I was doing, and with whom. 13 Black Belts! Even writing this blog gives me goosebumps just thinking about what I was so incredibly privileged to be a part of. The mastery in that room was mind-blowing. 

   So if you are ever doubting the value of Tai Chi, remember one thing, 13 Black Belts will gladly tell the value, me being one of them. 

P.S, I also personally know of 5 more Black Belts who would have loved to have been there but circumstances didn't allow them to be.