"That was not what I intended". This just keeps racing through my mind. My intent was to spark some interest in our charities to the Young Dragons. One word, that was all it took to derail everything I had already done. Now the entire focus was on that one word. No! Where is my time machine? Right, there is no such thing. Now I must own that terrible moment. I don't want it but it is mine and mine alone. Crap.
What did I learn from this? Intent is very hard to keep pure if you are not in the moment. My mind was already somewhere else when this happened. I was more concerned with wrapping things up than I was in getting the Young Dragons excited in our charities. Double crap. Now what? Try to repair the damage? Pretend it never happened and move on? I guess I will gauge that next week in class. Triple crap.
So now to apply this to my Kung Fu because everything I do affects my Kung Fu. It's not like the idea of intent is new to my journey, it may have been brought up here and there. But this was example of losing my intent that was about as subtle as a wrecking ball. So does this mean I gather my intents close to me and over analyze the crap out of everything or I do or extend my being to allow my intents to purify themselves through experiences.? Or somewhere in the middle?
I cannot stress just how much this has altered my view of myself. It is as though stepping through that portal of "intentlessness" has opened countless more opportunities to right my journey. How I learn from this will help me understand myself a little bit more me thinks.
And none of this would have happened if I wasn't given the opportunity to teach. I have learned SO much about myself in the short time I have been involved in helping to instruct fellow students in class. It is the key to my success, without it, my Kung Fu would have not progressed to where it is today. So thank you for allowing me to be a part of Silent River, it has changed me forever.
Push Ups 24618
Sit Ups 22681
Sparring 595 unchanged
1609KM 1366.85km
Acts of Kindness Recorded 1300 unchanged
Hand Form 430
Weapon Form 401 unchanged
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