Pad my numbers. I know the reasoning behind it, injury, lack of opportunities, life's little obstacles, but it is hard to do sometimes. Padding numbers at work can be dangerous, acid from batteries on the floor, broken glass from windshields, you know, hazards. Plus we have been unnecessarily busy at work with the owners latest "Project". My staff is constantly being pulled away from their actual job to cater to the whims of the owner of the business, forcing me to do their jobs instead of mine and I am powerless to do anything about it because in his opinion (and he has told me this!), working in parts is easy, anyone can do it. It is incredibly frustrating, and it affects me outside of work and that frustrates me even more. It is a cycle that is hard to break because I know it will all begin again Monday morning, grrrrr.
But... I am comfortable there because and I am 9 minutes from my home so travel is easy (I get to see my Pup everyday for lunch!), the hours are ideal for me to help out at Kung Fu (6:30ish am to 3:30ish pm) and like it or not, I have been there 24 years and I am only a few years away from semi-retirement (I hope). So making a change in career right now isn't really worth it.
So this brings up Mastery. I used to be proud of my pristinely organized parts department. Inventory every year was bang on, shelves were clean and meticulously organized, my staff tried their best to uphold my standard. Now with our daily, no scratch that, hourly interruptions in our jobs, that is gone. Not just from them, but from me as well. I have tried to talk to my boss (Tom) about it and he freely admits he is powerless as well but understands my frustration. I count that as a minor victory, VERY minor.
Unfortunately this has snaked its way into my Kung Fu. I find myself "good enough-ing" many many things. Proof to me was my Beta forms and my acceptance of "Meh - that will do". What the Hell!! And that made me even madder at myself. That is not who I want to be.
So that brings me all the way back around to my numbers. I think channeling my frustration into upping my numbers is something I can control (at home) for now, going back to the basic requirements of the IHC that I commited too could very well be the key for me to get through this poop storm I am currently trying to navigate. Reconnecting by disconnecting if you will.
Thanks for letting me rant.... and here are my no-padded numbers.
P/up -4907
S/up -4845
Spar -35
1609 km -213.41km
Aok -145
Hand form - 35
Weapon form - 60
Mastery -2
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