Addled. Befuddled. Wooly-headed. Confused. These are all PG rated words to use for my first moves in my hand form in the Tiger Challenge yesterday. Let me break down this train wreck. I walk into the ring, feeling good, ready, confident in what I am about to do. I say my hellos to the judges, I get permission to proceed. I step back and take a breath, then it happened......
Back story before I proceed. When you teach someone else a form you usually "mirror" them, facing them and doing the "mirrored" techniques of what you want them to learn. Makes sense and works well. Well guess what...
Back to my original train wreck. So I take my first step, to the right, not to the left, in Lao Gar. Immediately I know I have crashes and burned. it's the first step in the form and I am already screaming "OMG what am I doing"!!?? Well I am mirroring the first set of moves of course, you know, the ones I have done dozens of times in the kids classes. I can feel my blood pressure spike, I can feel a burning rage inside me, I've screwed up, Again. I should just stop, hang my head in shame and defeat, walk off and hide in a corner (I really want to by the way)?
Well thankfully I don't quit. I throw caution to the wind and wing it, somehow recovering my orientation to the form. From here on in I am hyper aware of my directions and it is consuming my every thought. I honestly DO NOT remember even finishing the form, my body was on autopilot. When it was done all I wanted to do was scream very nasty words at myself. I was furious with myself. I was seeing red, not good. It took a while to regain "Me" and carry on but I know this has set my tone for the rest of the Tiger Challenge.
So long story short, I actually did have a great day yesterday, I wouldn't have missed it for the world, not even the EE football home game that was on at the same time. As is usual, there are lessons for me to learn from this, apparently one of them is a rage issue and how to calm myself when it happens. Life is funny, always throwing curve balls at you, always trying to trip you up. Well life, this is for you...
P/UP 12,432
S/UP 12,370
SPAR 270 min
1609 KM 622.12km
AOK 525 recorded
HAND FORM 135
WEAPON FORM 155
MASTERY 11
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