Passion of the Process

   Projects. I have a ton of them on the go. Two of them are nearing completion, the first one is phase two of our pergola and the second one is rebuilding a section of my Mom's fence. Both of these are very personal for me as they will either show my attention for detail versus a "good enough" attitude. Guess which one I am striving for. Getting my "hands dirty" so to speak connects me with my person. Every screw I put in, board I cut, paint stroke I make, reflects upon me. Yes I make mistakes, but every one of them is correctable (mostly). I am not a carpenter nor a painter nor an engineer, I have zero formal training, I am just me. I build from imagination, good bad or ugly as it may be. If I make a mistake, I learn from it and move on, if I don't learn from it that is on me. 

   My wife laughs at me (lovingly of course) because before a major project I usually have many lists and drawn out plans. That is the way my cookie crumbles. I love to list details, I love to plan and replan, finding the flaws in my plan (hopefully) before I start wasting time and resources. I have a process, I need this process, without it I feel very ill at ease and lack confidence in what I am doing. 

   Obviously this applies to my Kung Fu. Attention to detail, the Black Belt success cycle, learning from mistakes, adapting to change in my circumstances (age, health, diet, etc), and passion for the process. Step by step I learn, step by step I adapt, step by step I make my Kung Fu my own, good bad or ugly. Whether my hand or weapon form is an a b c or d, this is part of my process. Knowing were I am at in the eyes of my instructors is vital for me to judge my process. Now to book some one-on-ones to help me adjust my process. 

Push Ups  9475

Sit Ups  8913

Sparring min  495

1609KM 808.97 km

Acts of Kindness 825 recorded

Hand Form  210

Weapon Form  220

Mastery recited 27

numbers 2025-06-21

Push Ups  9075

Sit Ups  8513

Sparring min  465

1609KM 768.67 km

Acts of Kindness 800 recorded

Hand Form  200

Weapon Form  200

Mastery recited 22

Slow on the Uptake

   Have you ever been in the moment so much that it makes you lose track of all that is going on around you? When the world becomes a blur, a singular moment of focus that trumps all other thoughts. Reality seems to bend to just that one moment, then it is gone and you realize your mind is now a blank trying to reset itself just to move forward even one step. I have.

   Tuesday in the Black Belt class we were working on a sequence of Mlong Kuen that includes a release from the hip that I have been doing wrong for a while. I saw my error, I worked on correcting it, I focused repeatedly on the correction to try to cement it in my mind. But my mind was slow on the uptake, muscle memory kept fighting to do it the "old" way. The internal argument got pretty heated at some points. I feel like I won(?) but only practice will tell. 

   Fast forward to Thursday. IHC class, hand demo. Now was the time to see if I won or lost the argument with myself. Here comes the move, GOT IT! I was so focused on getting that move correct that as soon as I did, well crap, I honestly could not even remember the very next step. I felt like a balloon that had just had the air let out of it. Pffffft. I was deflated. I stopped dead in my tracks, aghast with what just happened. I slowly sculked away from the rest of the team that were doing their demos, embarrassed with my utter failure. Yes I got the move, but at what cost?

   So I have deduced that my "focus" was actually a lack of focus. One move does not make a form. Yes that one move can be detrimental to the form by altering or negating your intent, but the form must go on. I have, since this incident, done this move a few dozen times focusing on the sequence not the move and now it is part (hopefully) of the overall form. 

   Painful lesson to learn at a very inopportune time but that is the way my cookie crumbles. Failure can be a jerk sometimes but mastery doesn't care about that. Mastery is turning that failure into a success. 

Push Ups  8037

Sit Ups  7513

Sparring min  460

1609KM 731.96km

Acts of Kindness 780 recorded

Hand Form  195

Weapon Form  200

Mastery recited 22

Rigid

    I can be pretty set in my ways sometimes, sorry, make that most times. When I have something set in my mind it is usually pretty hard for someone else to change it. Work, home, social, it all has it's own mental constructs and expectations for me, and I am usually fairly rigid in my unwillingness to allow it to change. My ego tries to force me to bend others to my will whether it be through force or constant pestering, I am set in my ways and opinions. It is hard for me to admit failure or error or that my way isn't the right way. 

   I have been trying to change this about myself. Specifically I have been noting when I find myself being "inflexible" in a given situation and then forcing myself to look through someone else's eyes. The question I pose to myself is "why am I right and am I truley right or just being a jerk?". Shockingly 😮 I find I am being a jerk more often than not. Wow, how can this be? Now to qualify, "jerk" to me means I am refusing to ponder the other persons reasoning because I think my own is superior to theirs. 

   Here is a little example that happened just yesterday. Kody and I were working on phase II of the pergola in the backyard. I have a vision of style, form and function set in my mind, a grand vision if you will.  It is not on paper or drawn out anywhere, it is in my head only, and to understand my vision you must understand me (good luck with that!!). So as we were preparing to set the length of some of the rafters, Kody shared his vision and reasoning that was in stark contrast to mine. My immediate reaction was no way, that is not my vision! But instead I took a step back and tried to understand his. And well crap, his made more sense than mine. Yea, personal growth for me...but the most memorable part was the look on Kody's face, utter shock that I was admitting (allowing?) that his idea was better than mine. He even questioned my decision to go with his design over mine. I now feel looking back on this that that one little situation changed us both, just a little bit but tangible enough to matter. 

 

   It felt good to go down this road, it is not one I travel frequently, and I think I am going to enjoy the view.  

 

 

Push Ups  6811

Sit Ups  6343

Sparring min 450

1609KM 689.07km

Acts of Kindness 735 recorded

 Hand Form  160

Weapon Form  180

Mastery recited 18

Funny Little Connections

   Life is funny sometimes. Little back story to get you to this point....

   I love audio books. They have allowed me to "read (hear)" books I would never have had the time to actually sit down and read. From classic books like War and Peace to fun books like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (a Must Listen!), these books have opened up my mind to so much entertainment. At this moment I am listening to an 18 book series by Craig Alanson called Expeditionary Force. It is a science fiction series recommended to me by a fellow listener, and it has been a very entertaining series. I am currently on the final book and low and behold, it has crossed the path into my Kung Fu world. Let me explain.

    Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig, we all know this book and author right? Well one of the philosophers that Pirsig references is Kant, and we should all recognize that name from our list of questions about this book. I bring this up because this topic is not something that you would ever think would randomly pop up in your everyday daily life, unless you are an individual who discusses 18th century philosophy with other like minded people, and in case you did not know, I am not one of those people. So this is why I was taken a back this morning while listening to my audio book while doing laundry. Low and behold. as if someone had administered a mild zap to my body, there it was. The author of this book (Craig Alanson) referenced Kant and his philosophy towards "acts of kindness". I stopped dead in my tracks and couldn't believe the connection I did it not see coming. I had to rewind the bit a few times to absorb the delicious little tidbit that I was listening to. Holy crap, I did not see this coming and I loved it! Now I can't do the clip justice by trying to summarize it here and it doesn't paint Kant in the best light but it was still a little insight to the concept of "act of kindness"and why we do them.

   Just another way that Kung Fu is interwoven into my life. And it is humbling. Why is it humbling? It proves to me that I am not the only one contemplating the universe, that I am not the only one questioning right and wrong, that I am not alone when I look up at the stars and think "what if....."

 

 

Craig Alanson Expeditionary Force Book 18 (Gateway) Chapter 15 6:57min ish 

 

 

Push Ups  6411

Sit Ups  5938

Sparring min 450

1609KM 646.58 km

Acts of Kindness 700 recorded

 Hand Form  160

Weapon Form  180

Mastery recited 18

The Now

   I am not great at waiting. I am especially not great at waiting for others, or waiting for time, or waiting for events, or just waiting period. I have a hard time waiting on others to do something that I can get done right now. Is it a trust issue? Is it the many concussions I have suffered as a klutzy human (2 severe 1 mildly annoying). Is it the years (decades) of various individuals letting me down? If it is the last one, is that on me? Should my trust in others to do what they say they will do be tempered by the realization that what is important to them might not be important to me or vice versa? Hmm, writing down that last one sounds the most rightish, (goodish, trueish?). 

   This is just part of what makes me me, and I have been working on it. Realizing that I am not the center of everyone's universe is hard for me to accept 😏 but it must be true. How dare other people have lives and minds of their own, I thought everyone was supposed to wait on me hand and foot! That is what the internet says! Damn social media has been lying to me, what the heck!

   Anyways, this is the thought I was having this morning sitting here writing my blog. Why write it down? Well by expressing this thought in words (type) helps me to analyze the reasoning behind my anxiety of waiting. Also by analyzing myself, I believe it helps me to understand "Me" just a little more, and that is good.

 

P.S. Somehow a slow computer doesn't bug me, figure that one out!

 

 

Push Ups  6411

Sit Ups  5938

Sparring min 450

1609KM 604.65 km

Acts of Kindness 640 recorded

 Hand Form  160

Weapon Form  140

Mastery recited 18

Numbers update

   This blog is kinda a let down for me.  No inspirational thoughts jump out and say "write about me". So I will just publish my numbers and move on, maybe I will find inspiration somewhere in my day.

 

 

Push Ups  6411

Sit Ups  5938

Sparring  450 min

1609KM 566.23 km

Acts of Kindness 593 recorded

 Hand Form  145

Weapon Form 122

Mastery recited 18

On Me

    This blog is actually an apology. Specifically to Sifu Rybak. During class on Thursday (IHC), I asked her a question. It wasn't the question I need to apologize for but the way I asked the question. I started my question by saying "I already know the answer to this". As soon as those words had left my stupid mouth I knew I had screwed up, big time. I know better than this, or so I thought. 

   Both Master Brinker and Sifu Rybak have talked about this before. And I have listened, I swear I have. I had just asked my question in a way that looked like I was wanting validation, like I knew better than my instructor. This couldn't have been farther from the truth, honestly, I didn't know the answer. So where did this come from? I was asking a question I truly wanted an answer to, I wasn't trying to be leading with my question. As soon as the words had left my mouth I knew my question was now in question. I wasn't asking a question I was questioning my instructor. It was my ego asking the question, looking for validation. I was so flustered with myself I don't even remember the answer, so I didn't just screw up my question, I wasted an opportunity to learn.

   While I am mad at myself for doing this, I am glad I have realize the severity of my mistake. So my apologize to Sifu Rybak, I did not mean for it to seem like I was questioning you, I will endevour to ask my questions properly from here on in. And to learn from my question.

Push Ups  6085

Sit Ups  5538

Sparring 425 min

1609KM 527.24km

Acts of Kindness 550 recorded

 Hand Form130

Weapon Form  115

Mastery recited 18

Limited but Unlimited

   Unusual but great. That was our trip to Vegas. I had a great time, it was amazing, so many things I could go on about, but another time perhaps. I will limit this blog and keep it short. Here we go....

   Problem is I am a nervous traveler, I do not like things I cannot control (to a certain extent), I expect problems at every turn. I was full of apprehension before the trip. Border security, possible flight cancellations, anti-Canada sentiment, an almost 40+% exchange rate to name a few. Then there was the over eating that usually accompanies vacations, the excess that Vegas brings, the change in sleep patterns, the list goes on. These stresses/worries are a part of who I am. But I keep it contained as best I can so those around me do not suffer my excitability. 

   That is why I enjoy traveling with my wife, somehow she keeps me in check. She is my buffer, my Zen, my anchor. Somehow she reels me in when I zoom off on a tangent. I can only imagine the chaos I would/could cause if left to my devices. Yikes! So thank you Deb, you work your magic on me so well that you are as mystical as life itself.

    Now for my Kung Fu over the past week. LIMITED. That is how I would describe it. Tuesday to Friday night, no classes, no online (out every night), no contact, it was all up to me. Usually when on a trip, I practice in a pool somewhere, basic moves and stances and strikes and blocks and of course Tai Chi, nothing to obvious to draw attention to myself. But this time it was different, the deep end of the pool was 4' deep, yup that is it - only 4' deep and right in the center of the pool. Even in a deep horse stance, I felt eyes on me everywhere. Some of the looks made me pause, like I felt that they felt I was "challenging" them, which of course I wasn't. So I stopped and just concentrated on my breathing, no need to stir the pot, just disappear into the water, nothing to see here, carry on, carry on.

   This caused an abundance of energy to start to build up in me. I was finding myself visualizing doing a forms right in the middle of the many casinos we visited (can you imagine!!). I didn't of course but I still chuckled at the mental image of the reaction this would have caused. So I changed my external need of movement to an internal path, instead of doing forms, I recited sections of Mastery (in my mind) and slowed my breathing to calm myself. I pushed my mind inward to feel how I was walking, to feel different muscles as I climbed endless flights of stairs, how my posture was while seated, used my vision and hearing to try to find the beauty in my surroundings. It helped, I no longer felt disconnected from my Kung Fu, I found it inside of me smiling at me, just waiting patiently to be noticed. "hello my friend, shall we begin? Ahhhh, they you are. And you are Unlimited.

 

 

Push Ups  6085

Sit Ups  5338

Sparring 425 min

1609KM 481.09 km

Acts of Kindness 500  recorded

 Hand Form  120

Weapon Form  100

Mastery recited 16

New Morning Pains (Good Ones)

   Sil lum seminar. For those of you who have never been, that is truley unfortunate. This time around we are again proving that I do not know everything. Yesterday's class we worked on isolating muscle groups that I was unaware could be isolated. And this morning my body is laughing at me saying "gotcha Mr know it all!".  My Glutes feel like they were hammered by a drunken Thor. And it is awesome. I had no idea I could inflict so much "ouch" on such a small area, on purpose that is. 

   The best thing is I can repeat all of this at home or in my office at work, something that would never have crossed my mind to do. So thank you Sihing Jackie Kohut, you passing on your knowledge and experience to me is deeply appreciated.

 

 

Push Ups  6085

Sit Ups  5338

Sparring 425 min

1609KM 433.89 km

Acts of Kindness 400 recorded

 Hand Form  110

Weapon Form  100

Mastery recited 12

Shifting

    I had a master plan for the summer. I needed one because it is going to be a multi faceted monster with multiple responsibility's for the next seven to eight months. I won't rehash the details but life has decided to throw an extra curve ball into the mix. 

   My Mom is now having to face up too some major lifestyle choices. She had a huge health scare this last week and a half, hospitalized for almost a week. She is home now but will most likely spend the rest of her life tied to an oxygen machine. She is unhappy about this but I know she understands the alternative. 

   So my focus has shifted. SHE is my focus now. She will resist, she will deny, she will mostly do as she pleases, she will put on a brave face, but she is my Mom and I owe her everything. So if my mind seems detached sometimes, it is, this scares the crap out of me. 

   Anyways, Kung Fu was great this week, some meaningful interaction with some fellow students, learned some stuff about myself via instructing others (balloons on heavy bags are hard to pop). Now to catch up on reading everyone's blogs.

   

 

Push Ups 5635

Sit Ups 4888

Sparring min 400

1609KM 388.03 km

Acts of Kindness 350 recorded

 Hand Form 100

Weapon Form 90

Mastery recited 12

CIrcle Sparring

    In Tuesday night's black belt class we did some sparring. Not just regular sparring, circle sparring. I have never done this before (to my recollection at least) and it was.....interesting. 

   Take two opponents, one in a normal sparring ready position, and the other in a hula-hoop on the floor. Objective, to "knock" your opponent out of the hoop and claim it for your own. Rules, limited but flexible (we are all friends here), only request, try to not be a neanderthal, use technique not brute force. Outcome, chaos.

   Within seconds of starting I had already ran through my bag of "tricks" to limited success. I started to resort to the neanderthal approach, and not surprisingly, it did not work! Too say I got repeatedly tossed and thwarted would be like saying a tornado is just a bit of wind. As I tried to adapt I'm guessing I was making it pretty obvious to my opponents cause my success rate bordered on a big fat chunky zero. Showed me a few things..

    I am mainly defensive when it comes to sparring, I tend not to attack. I poke and wait for a response. Usually to my detriment. 

   I have problems adapting to my opponents plan of attack. If it doesn't fit my "expectations" I retreat. Usually to a hail of kicks and punches.

   So I need to spar more, much much more, with different opponents and different skill levels. I need to come in with confidence and more than just a one or one two combination. And I need to spar more, much much more (I know I am repeating myself - shows how obvious the solution is). 

   So while I am grateful for Tuesday's lesson, I am disappointed in my lack of progress when it comes to sparring. I need to spar more, just in case I hadn't mentioned that.

 

 

Push Ups  5600

Sit Ups  4888

Sparring  325 min

1609KM  349.25 km

Acts of Kindness 295 recorded

 Hand Form  85

Weapon Form  86

Mastery recited  6

Last Moments of Ahh

    Let the games begin. This last week away from the Kwoon was the last bit of the calm before the storm. The next four(ish) months are going to be exciting. We have weddings, trips (Vegas baby!), football games (go EE!), hockey play offs (go Oil!), family get togethers, milestone birthdays (I'm turning 55 - OMG!!), yard construction projects, and of course, a ton of Kung Fu. Thankfully I had the opportunities this last week to get a lot of forms work in. Kody and I worked on Mlong Kuen many times and each time we did, dozens of questions popped up. We muddled through and came up many things I was doing/not doing wrong/right. It was a great experience working with him on my forms, great memories for me. Even though I am feeling refreshed from the time off, I miss the Kwoon and the people there. I am looking forward to everything starting up again tomorrow. 

   A couple of things that really are going to stand out over the next while, outside of Kung Fu that is, are work and the football season. 

   Why, well lets start with work. 

   I have been at Competition Chev for just over 25 years and this year there have been some major internal changes. We have had firings, retirements and departments consolidations. Most of this was long overdue. Simply put, my responsibilities at work have almost doubled. I knew this day would come and I was mostly ready for it but the work load at the moment is quite difficult to manage. Within a few months I WILL have it all hammered out so it is run my way and then it should all fall into place (I am knocking on wood right now😀). 

   Now for the fun...

   Last year Mr Larry Thompson (Thompson Bros Construction's former owner) bought the Edmonton football team and promised big changes to the once proud football team. Well over the past 30+ years Larry has bought hundreds (no exaggerating here) of vehicles for his former company from Competition Chev and recently his advertising team approached the dealership to look into Competition Chev throwing some large sponsorship dollars back his way. And we did!!  I am totally stoked about this as the dealership has mostly withdrawn from community involvement over the past decade. Covid really didn't help that out either. 

   And so now it is falling upon me to be the "cheerleader" spearheading our direction in this - hooah! I am so unbelievably excited to be part of this!! Between getting us involved in the local community sports teams, supporting local charities, getting my staff excited to be apart of something special again, I am a whirlwind of ideas and plans. Even thinking about this gives me goose bumps. My "team" at the moment is Bennett Polack and me. Great thing is Bennett is as excited about this as I am. He has a vision for the dealership that involves our wonderful community out here and that is LONG overdue. 

So anyhooo, that is where I am at. So if I seem distracted, I AM! And I am savoring ever second😁

.

 

Push Ups  5272

Sit Ups  4763

Sparring  min   260

1609KM  311.60 km

Acts of Kindness  260 recorded

 Hand Form   77

Weapon Form   70

Mastery recited  6

Ps and Qs

    So after many years of shoulder trouble, yesterday (Mar 28,2025) I finally got an MRI done. It has been a long process to get here, mostly because of my procrastination and just living with the pain (stupid stupid stupid). It is actually a relief finally getting to this point, but that is not what this blog is about. It is about the individuals I have dealt with recently. 

    

So a quick little back story of the past 2 weeks. 

- doctors appointment Mar 20 to discuss options about my continued shoulder problems (free!), decided to get an MRI for a deeper dive into the muscles in the joint. Choice of waiting for it to be covered by AHC (free!) or paying for a speedy appointment - my CHOICE but first an x-ray to make sure I have no chunks of metal in my head - again FREE!

- x-ray next day - free!

- letter from AHS Tues March 25th - 5 day turn around - amazing! My scheduled appointment is Nov 7,2025 but there is a number to call to go on the "short list (cancellations)". 

- call the number Thursday Mar 27th - they have a spot March 29th at 1pm!! Amazing luck for me, I snatch this up and go. Again - free free free. Yes I know it is not "free", my taxes pay for it, and I am okay with that.

   So my experience over the past 2ish weeks has been great. I know this isn't the norm, but I can only speak for my experiences and no one elses.

   And now for the people, no scratch that, the professionals I met along the way. Each and every one of them got a smile, a thank you, and a little humor along the way. I treated every single person that I met along the way I wanted to be treated. Sure some were not the "smileest" persons out there, but I can only imagine the crap they have to deal with on a daily/hourly basis. I was not going to give them more grief, I was going to give them a smile. And I got more than my fair share of smiles back, my thank yous even seemed to surprise some people, and that made me ever more determined to give them the respect they deserve for the job they do.

  So a huge shout out to all the Doctors, Nurses, Technicians, Administrators, Support staff, Security Guards, every single one of you, thank you!! You are appreciated.

   Anyways, just wanted to share.

 

Push Ups  4972

Sit Ups  4463

Sparring 240 min  

1609KM   272.60 km

Acts of Kindness  200 recorded

 Hand Form   65

Weapon Form   62

Mastery recited  4

Pondering Me

   I don't remember where and when I heard or read it so I can not give credit where it is due (sorry), but it sure started more wheels turning on a new idea path. It went something like this.... 

How many words do you have to write before you are an author, how many steps do you have to take before you are a hiker, how far do you have to run before you are a runner?

And so to that I add, how many punches/kicks/stances/grapples/forms/pushups do I have to do before I consider myself a Martial Artist? One? One thousand? One million? Zero? 

Here is my quandary...

I have a hard time accepting that I am actually a black belt in the ancient martial art of Kung FU. The sure weight of what that means permeates all my actions and thoughts and I take that rank very seriously. How did I ever possibly achieve this much sought after level of being? Am I adhering to the codes of ethics set forth by my Master instructor? Am I doing everything I need to to honor those before me, and to honor those after me? There are many more questions I struggle with, but I do so willingly because to me THAT is what helps me be a Martial Artist, the struggle with my Spirit. The physical cannot flourish without the mental/spiritual.

A very wise fellow Silent River Kung Fu student (Sihing Jackie Kohut) once wrote a blog about the "partial arts" and this has stuck with me over the years and I constantly asking myself when I train if that was a partial effort or not. Thanks for that Sihing, it motivates me and helps keep me honest to myself. 

So I have no answer for you for the question I ponder because it is different for every single person who practices the martial arts. For myself, yes I consider myself a Martial Artist because I believe in what it represents to me. That belief is a cornerstone in who I am. This belief drives me, hones me, reminds me, inspires me, it just plain old makes me a better person. I wasn't even aware of mediocrity before I became a Martial Artist, now I see it creeping in where it is least wanted or expected and I recognize that as a call to action for me.

So just for funzzies, ask yourself, "am I a Martial Artist"? See where that leads you....

Push Ups  4662

Sit Ups 4523

Sparring min 215

1609KM  241.13 km

Acts of Kindness  150 recorded

 Hand Form  60

Weapon Form  55

Mastery recited  4

Being the Monster and a Little More Stuff

  More fun than I thought I would have. And what a work out. Back story....

Thursday's Young Dragon's classes. Near then end of both classes we played a bit of a game with the students. Basically Sihing Kohut and I were sleeping monsters hoarding our treasure and the students had to sneak over an "steal" our treasure without waking us. To get to us they had to balance a bean bag on their head and approach us in a slide stepping horse stance while being as quiet as possible as to not wake the monsters. Well suffice to say, I think I had as much fun as the students. And man was I tired by the end. Up, down, run, chase, etc.... so much fun, so much sweat. Good times!

 

By the way... last week I started a blog that I never finished, and I don't know if I will anytime soon. It centered around my Spirit (I see Toudai Bauer wrote one at the same time about basically the same topic). This is something I have struggled with for years, ever since I was asked to define my Spirit. This blog may someday be coherent enough to actually publish, but for now it is just chaos and incomplete. Such a simple word, until I look inside myself objectively. 

My cane form. Thursday Sifi Hayes had us do our beta-beta forms in front of the class. Great ice breaker, showed me where I was in my creation of this form. If I was honest about it (what else would I be??), I am way behind were I want to be. So after this blog, I am headed downstairs to add some cohesion to my moves, also explore my cane and let it "tell" me where it wants to go.

Push Ups  4217

Sit Ups  4123

Sparring min  135

1609KM 211.64km

Acts of Kindness 125 recorded

Hand Form  50

Weapon Form  40

Mastery recited  4

Just numbers.

Working on a blog. Turned into more than I expected. So here are numbers for now  

Push Ups   3593

Sit Ups   3526

Sparring  120 min

1609KM  176.17 km

Acts of Kindness  100 recorded

Hand Form  40

Weapon Form   35

Mastery recited  3

#4 Is My Hardest

   The six harmonies. I am not now nor probably am I ever going to claim to fully be a master of any of them. But that doesn't mean I don't consistently try to integrate them into my being. Their importance is integral into my learning and understanding myself. Without them, Kung Fu is just a hobby, with them, Kung Fu is my lifestyle. They are important.

   I'm gonna jump back a few years here to before my grading. Specifically to the five techniques. I will fully admit that this was a train wreck for me. I struggled, HARD. And I will admit I am still struggling with the very the first of the internal six harmonies, Spirit to Intent. That first word, Spirit. Wow, one word, so simple but for me it has turned into a barrier for what I do and why I do it. Confronting what that means to me has caused a lot of turmoil in who I am, or at least who I thought I was. How can I possibly understand my intent if at first I am questioning my own spirit? One must lead to the other or it isn't pure.

   One of the greatest eye openers of self-discovery for me was the I Am project. The depth of who I am that I was discovering by me honestly writing these out was actually starting to shake my very foundations as to who I thought I was. It disturbed me, a lot. As I would write them, I held back, not wanting to "go there". This opened up a means to justify, no that's not right, to quantify (?) my actions in daily life and at the Kwoon (one in the same). I for that I am grateful.

  

Push Ups   3593

Sit Ups   3526

Sparring  120 min

1609KM  176.17 km

Acts of Kindness  100 recorded

Hand Form  40

Weapon Form   35

Mastery recited  3

Too Much Fun

   Thursday night's class was fun, that's the best way I can describe it. For Young Dragons level one and two, Toudai Ferris asked me to run a little mitt work drill and base it on what she had seen me do the previous night. Back story to this is I remember doing this drill six or seven years ago when I was probably a green belt. I remember how much fun it was and how extremely challenging it was. I brought it forward to the level one teen/adult class and oh my the smiles and sweat where everywhere. Now to do this in the Young Dragon's classes.

   The drill is simple, lose a limb then spar. Round one, you can only use your right hand, nothing else. Round two switch that to left, then round three left round house only, now switch partners and so on. It is harder than it sounds once the pressure of sparring rears it beautiful face. Suddenly you can't tell your left from right, leg from hand, up from down.

   So I was asked to adapt this to the Young Dragon's class, and in my humble opinion, it was a smashing success. I think it was as fun and challenging for the instructors as it was for the students. The main difference between the Teen/Adult and the Young Dragons was Teen/Adult it was student facing student and the Young Dragons was one instructor to three/four students, it was HARD to remember my left from right because I had to call it out each time, and it was awesome!! But the best part was the stress of sparring was suddenly turned into fun. My group of students exceeded my every hope and they looked like they could handle anything I could throw at them. The faster I went, the better they did, we didn't correct as we went, we just went. I know I was sweating and grinning ear to ear afterwards.

   My take away from this was to change my individual sparring. I now do rounds of just left, or right or a leg. It really highlight the challenges of lets say a front hand upper cut or how fast I can throw a  combative round house, fun stuff. 

Thank Toudai Ferris, you just made me peal another layer of my onion.

 

Push Ups  3193

Sit Ups  3123

Sparring  110min

1609KM  140.47 km

Acts of Kindness  85 recorded

Hand Form  35

Weapon Form   30

Mastery recited 2

Cane

   There was a post out earlier this year about naming your weapon choice and why, with maybe a neat fact about the weapon. 

   This year I have decided the best thing for me would be the cane. At first my ego said "do a double cane form, it will be cool". I have quickly shut that down and told my ego to shut up. One of the deciding factors in choosing the cane is that it is primarily a single handed form with "support" from the second hand, and it is also very light compared to my previous years choices. This allows me to use predominately my right arm and not worry about the limitations my left shoulder causes. This is kinda fun for a couple reasons, mainly is that I am left handed and it forces me to put the other side of my brain in a lead role (hello six harmonies!). 

   In the initial stages of creating my own form. I am finding this combination very powerful. By allowing my left side to flow without the burden of a weapon, Shazam! My blocks and strikes with both arms working independently but together seems way more connected and powerful. And when they do come together, it's like to life long friends meeting to show why they are so great together. 

   So I am really enjoying this choice, it feels good, it doesn't feel limiting, I am more excited about this choice than I thought I would be. Master Sifu Hayes has already added some great insights for me so that I can connect one move to the other and this gets me excited for where this is heading. 

 

Push Ups  2243

Sit Ups  2255

Sparring  75

1609KM  106.62km

Acts of Kindness  60 recorded

Hand Form  20

Weapon Form Got a good start figured out, did 20 reps

Mastery recited 2 

 

 

Some trivia

Ancient Roots

The origins of the walking cane date back to primitive human society, possibly as early as the invention of tools. Early humans used sticks and staffs to assist with walking, hunting, and as protective devices. Over time, the humble walking stick began to evolve, acquiring more specific forms and functions.

In Ancient Egypt, for example, the staff took on a more symbolic role. Pharaohs and high-ranking officials carried staffs as symbols of their power and authority. These staffs were often decorated with elaborate carvings and precious gems, reflecting the wealth and stature of their owners.

The Middle Ages: More Than Just Mobility

Fast forward to the Middle Ages in Europe, where the walking cane evolved into a necessary tool for pilgrims embarking on long and strenuous journeys to holy sites. These canes served as practical aids for the physically demanding travels, and were also seen as a symbol of faith and devotion.

During this period, another incarnation of the cane emerged: the scepter. Royalty and high-ranking officials carried scepters as symbols of their authority and power. Much like the Egyptian staffs, scepters were often ornate, decorated with jewels, and had symbolic designs.

The Renaissance: A Fashion Statement

The Renaissance period marked a shift in the role of walking canes, moving from a practical tool and symbol of authority to a fashionable accessory. It was during this time that the term "cane" (derived from the Italian "canna," meaning a reed or cane) came into common usage.

Cane-carrying became a form of art, a symbol of one's social standing and style. These fashionable canes were often made from exotic and valuable materials like ivory, ebony, and whalebone, and were adorned with detailed carvings and jeweled handles.

The Victorian Era: Peak Popularity and Regulations

The Victorian era, particularly the 19th century, is often considered the golden age of the walking cane. In this period, canes were an essential part of a gentleman's attire. It was also in this era that the systematic production of canes began, leading to a diverse range of styles, materials, and designs.

The popularity of the cane was so high that it led to the "Cane Act" in 1822 in the UK, where men under the age of 50 were required to pay a tax if they carried a cane or umbrella, with exceptions made for individuals with physical impairments.

Modern Times: A Return to Function

The advent of the 20th century marked a shift in the use of canes from a fashionable accessory back to a tool for mobility. This was in part due to two world wars, which resulted in many veterans needing canes as a mobility aid.

The introduction of social security systems and disability rights also changed the perception of the cane. It was no longer a symbol of weakness, but rather an important tool for independence and accessibility. Innovations in design and materials made modern canes more functional and durable, meeting the varied needs of their users.

Today, walking canes continue to serve a dual purpose. While they remain a crucial mobility aid for many, they also hold a place in the world of fashion and luxury.

 

 

P.S. my cane's name is Winston

Release

   Hellish week. That was this last week. Physically depressed, mentally stressed, blah blah blah. Just a turd of a week. Then Thursday hit and Toudai Ferris asked me to do all the warm ups for the kid's classes. I did not want to do this, I just wanted to stand in a corner and say mean things to myself. But I did the warm ups anyways as I am part of a team and need to step up when asked. And this was the best thing that could have happened for me. 

   Not wanting to do a half effort job, I immersed myself in the warm ups. I was sweaty, I was breathing  fast, I was smiling, I was free of my crapola week! I finally had the release I so desperately needed. I felt renewed, I felt fulfilled. Seeing the young students engaged and trying to keep up, I felt like I had finally accomplished something this last week. 

   So thank you Toudai Ferris, your kick to my butt to get me moving was just what I needed (BTW I was pretty sore Friday - but it was sooo worth it!). 

P.S. as a bonus "release", I had a great one-on-one with Master Brinker Saturday morning, I really need to take more advantage of  this wonderful resource

Push Ups  1374

Sit Ups  1455

Sparring  60

1609KM  80.28k  km

Acts of Kindness   40 recorded

Hand Form  14

Weapon Form  Playing with a double cane form - no reps yet, just creating so far

Mastery recited  

Early Struggles

    I am struggling. This year feels different for me than others for some reason. This is my seventh year in the IHC and I am determined to do all twelve years, it is one of my personal lifetime goals. I'm not saying I am apathetic or I regret joining the IHC this year but something feels different to me. I know it is all in my head, as Robert M Pirsig ( Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance ) would have described it, I have blockage. 

   I know when this year of the Snake started (Jan 29, 2025), I know I have committed myself to the IHC and everything that that entails. But when the date finally arrived to start the new year, I found myself totally unprepared. I am actually kinda ashamed and mad at myself for being in this situation, it is not who I am.

  In every previous year I already had my daily planner ready, my weapon chosen and the beginnings of a form and many reps done of my hand form. This year I am chasing my own tail trying to get moving. It took me and extra week just to get my daily journal ready, I have finally committed to my hand form today (Mlong Kuen) but I am still at a loss about my weapon. I had plans for a Snake Spear and had started to play with some moves with a stick I already had, then things fell off the rails. Now this is all on me and I know it and my lack of self care. I find myself physically unable to lift my left arm above my shoulder without pain. I can get it over, slowly, but because I have lived in the delusional mindset that I am invincible, I fear going to the doctor cause I know the next steps to living with this are things I have being trying to avoid. 

   Okay, I'm gonna stop this pity party right here. This is all on me. Like my Dad used to say, "build a bridge and get over it!". Monday I call my doctor. 

 

P.S. this is my arsenal to choose a weapon from, funny when I lay it all out, so many toys!!

P.S.S. if anyone needs anything from the assortment, feel free to borrow for the year.

Push Ups  900

Sit Ups  1045

Sparring  45

1609KM  46.61km

Acts of Kindness  21 recorded

Hand Form  5

Weapon Form  0

Mastery recited  1

Year of the Dragon Final Numbers

    While the year was not a resounding success, I am still happy with the progress I have been able to maintain. As long as I am moving forward, the future looks bright. I see areas I need to adjust and work on differently to enable success, and so I will do just that.  

   The biggest area I have already started to make strides forward is my diet. Being part of a "fuel in" group ( that's what I am calling it) has made me much more accountable and aware as to what I am actually putting into my body as fuel. My blood pressure is down to almost optimal for me according to my my Doctor ( statistically ) and my weight is headed in the right direction. So Yay me!! 

   I have never really published my weight and blood pressure numbers as they terrified me. Now I see the gains I have made and it makes me want more!! So here are my numbers (yikes, this is hard to put in print)

Start of Year of the Dragon (Feb 10, 2024)

💓blood pressure  154/89  OMG!!

😨weight 229.2 lbs  again OMG!! Most I have ever weighed

Start of Year of the Snake ( Jan 28, 2025 )

💓blood pressure 128/79  Getting there!! ( my Doc wants me below 140/90 at all times - done!)

😌weight 222.4 lbs  Slow and steady  - I want 200 by the end of this year!!

   So there you have it, and so there I have it, slow and steady, know my limits and reach beyond them, no quitting, I have a plan and I am sticking to it. I want to look back when I am 90 and say...I remember when.... Oh wait, I'm already doing that!!

 

Push Ups   27720  -  fail

Sit Ups  26291  -  fail

Sparring  825  -  fail

1609KM    1902.92 km   -  pass

Acts of Kindness  1600 Recorded   -  pass

Hand Form  590  -  fail

Weapon Form  670  -  fail

Mastery recited  20  -  still need it in front of me to make my way through it  -  fail

Five or Six

   Am I only using five harmonies? Or four, or three or two or one? Yikes!!

   Thursday's IHC class I paired up with Sehing Burke and she pointed out some foot work ( or lack of ) at the beginning of my Tiger hook form. And low and behold, I was more concerned with what my hands were doing than the fact that I even had feet. From my hips down were just along for the ride apparently. The "macho macho man" part of me was only thinking about making the weapons look good, not Kung Fu. The weapons were pulling me along, no power just flash. If this had been a real "combat" situation I would be speaking to you from the great beyond. That is not mastery. 

   With the banquet less than a week away, I know revamping my whole form is a non-starter. But that doesn't mean I can't tweak it a little right now. We still have three actual demo practices to go, and I have seven actual days to make the most of my "tweaking". Slow down, engage my hips, think about what I am doing. Mindfully do my reps, pick something, improve it, apply it, repeat.

   This points out one of the priceless benefits of the IHC. I may have never noticed this lack of eye for detail on my own. My awesome team mates ( not just Sehing Burke ) take their responsibility seriously and handed my a golden opportunity to become a better martial artist. Thank you team, you are the best!!

 

 

Push Ups  27537

Sit Ups  26151

Sparring 800

1609KM    1887.37 km

Acts of Kindness  1600 Recorded 

Hand Form  556

Weapon Form  640

Mastery recited  20

Hittin the Mark

   Been spending the last little while trying to hit my mark in the song for the banquet. I've got a few "landmarks" in my section that should coincide with where I am in my form. I only have 24 seconds on stage to do my form and I need to make every second count. And I need to make it count so I don't creep into the time of the person following me (Sihing M Ward). A couple of times we have nailed the transition between us and I really want that to happen on stage. So this means I must be consistent with my timing not just for my sake but for hers as well. Practice practice practice. Thankfully Sihing Ward seems to be very adaptable to my timing, thanks Michele.

  

Push Ups  27516

Sit Ups  26151

Sparring 740

1609KM   1855.78 km

Acts of Kindness 1553 Recorded 

Hand Form  540

Weapon Form  600

Mastery recited  20

My Place

   Last night I had both the privileged and responsibility of attending an event that I take great pride and am very humbled to be allowed to be part of. This yearly event re-affirms my beliefs and responsibilities as a Black Belt. It reminds me that I am not alone in my journey, that I have the most amazing support group imaginable. The lineage, the history, the traditions, the expectations, the acceptance, it can all be overwhelming at times. But this group of people have got my back, always. They want me to succeed as much, if not more, than I do.

   I take being a black belt very seriously. Every day I ask myself (internally) whether or not what I am doing or saying furthers my path to mastery or diminishes it. It is hard, there is no denying that, but it is hugely fulfilling at the same time. I make errors in judgement, a lot, I accept that. The thing is did I correct/learn anything from it? If not, why not, if yes, carry on Daddyo. It is a constant struggle that is mostly self imposed. The company I keep, the foods I choose, the use of time, all within my control. So am I doing right or wrong by my choices, that is my constant question of myself. 

   Reaffirming my responsibilities as a black belt give me a chance to re-access who I am. Good or bad, my truth is right there in front of me, I cannot and will not hide from it. I am not perfect, but knowing that and accepting that allow me to realize that I am working towards trying to be a better human. There is no giving up on myself, I am only here for a blink of an eye, so I must make a small ripple in the pond of my time for the good of my existence. Being a dad, husband, son, uncle, friend all come with very similar responsibilities to being a black belt. They overlap all the time. So I must make good choices, not easy choices. Sometimes these are the same but usually they are not. But I am willing to put in the work because the reward/enlightenment is so much greater. 

   So being a black belt is amazing, if you let it be. Last night reminded me of that, and I will do my utmost to never tarnish the ideals that it represents.

 

 

Push Ups   27160

Sit Ups  25451

Sparring 640

1609KM  1827.20 km

Acts of Kindness Recorded  1525

Hand Form  537

Weapon Form  560

Mastery recited  20

 

Been a Minute

   December 19, seems like forever ago. 17 days ago today in fact. Wow, feels weird being away from the Kwoon for this long. Tomorrow will be like a home coming of sorts, I really miss this place. 

   What have I been up to in this huge break I ask myself? Other that the standard holiday stuff, it has been all about basement renovations. Our home is not big so maximizing space is a must and the basement has been a "stuff" collector for years, almost to the point of being unusable. Yikes!! That is not Mastery. That is pure laziness and procrastination on my part. Every time I went down to the basement, I was both mad and embarrassed with myself. This is the basement of someone who just plain and simply does not care! So we took action (we - Deb, Kody and I). Five days of sorting, building, tearing down, throwing out twenty+ year old stuff, cleaning, just plain old hard work and voila! We now have a usable basement. New dart board and surround - done, new shelving along east wall - done, bins of really old wires and cable - gone (mostly), a full load of stuff to the dump - done. Am I done, nope, just getting started!! And boy does this feel good! Now to go through the donation pile (books and DVDs mostly) and finish some electrical, heater duct work and hang some long forgotten pictures and poof... time to reno the "office/spare bedroom" upstairs - this is another huge job but now I am motivated by the basement reno, so I will carry on while I have momentum. 

   And as a bonus, I now have way more room to practice my Kung Fu, like about 10 square feet more, sweeeeet!

 

..

    See you all back at the Kwoon tomorrow!!👍😁, bring on the banquet!!

.

Push Ups 26926

Sit Ups  25051

Sparring 640

1609KM  1763.34km

Acts of Kindness Recorded  1505

Hand Form 530

Weapon Form  550

Mastery recited 19