Maintenance

   I am super frustrated. I know I have not looked after my body properly in the past, poor diet and lack of exercise. I know I am getting old and stuff is starting to break down, arthritis. I know I talk (complain) about it a lot. I know I need to accept my limitations as I age. And so on and so on..... But it is super frustrating for me. I thought I was Superman.

   Not being able to participate in even the simplest of drills like hip throws is absolutely maddening. Standing on the sidelines and watching EVERYONE else do the drills breaks my heart. I wanna learn and participate, I wanna do what I need to to further my path as a black belt, but I know what will happen if I do. Even one ill paced move or fall and I am done for the night if not the week or longer. I WANT TO SCREAM!! 

   I have been to the doctors, I know my left shoulder is most likely permanent (arthritis) without some sort of surgery. I have my MRI for my left shoulder this week, my fingers are crossed, maybe they will find some kinda Voodoo or magical spell to reverse the effects of aging and abuse, my hopes are high but delusional. 

   My right shoulder is another story. Ironically I injured it days before getting my left shoulder assessed. And it is a very different kinda pain. It's like a stubbed pinky toe, toothache and paper cut under your finger nail had a baby, an angry baby. I find out the results of that assessment Sept 9. It's like the worst Xmas present ever is just waiting for me to open it. Crap x 2.

   So I modify, I poke the limits of the threshold of where the pain is, and it frustrates me to no end. I am hesitant to do things like train hard, I am scared my body will react negatively. But I will not give up, no way no how, after all isn't pain just weakness leaving the body? 

   Thanks for letting me vent. Sometimes the bubble of disappointment that surrounds me is just too much and I need a way to feel that there is still hope, still a way to see the happiness outside my bubble.

 

 With my new schedule at work my numbers have suffered but I am finding ways to adapt, 👍

P/UP  21978

S/UP  19951

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609KM 1116.73 km

AOK  1010recorded

HAND FORM 380

WEAPON FORM 345

MASTERY 18 funny how this hasn't changed in a while, gotta change that x 2

#330 Topic is Topics

   This is my 330th blog. Looking back on some of my blogs (not all - who has that kind of time?) I see rehashes of similar topic. At first I found this a little disappointing. Why am I repeating the same stuff, where are my new thoughts? Tough to answer. 

   I do train. I do attend every class I can, whether they are my classes or not. I try to be mindful of what I do. I commit as much time as I have available without jeopardizing the other priorities in my life. At times it is a juggling act, at times it is perfectly easy, balance is the word I try to apply to this.

   Kung Fu makes me happy, it brings me peace. It is a purposeful separation from the rest of the day that allows me to focus on me. My family and my dog also bring me immense amounts of peace, but it is a shared peace. Kung Fu is mine. While I do share a portion of my happiness resulting from the privilege of learning Kung Fu, I keep a little place inside me that is just mine (happy place?). Greedy and self-serving, I don't think so, I feel it is a necessity to regenerate and renew myself.  

   Anyways, I started this blog with absolutely no direction (little trick I use to overcome the "block") and just let the thought train choose it's own path Choo choo, next stop, numbers....

 

 

 

P/UP  19858

S/UP  19784

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609KM 1078.11km

AOK 980 recorded

HAND FORM 375

WEAPON FORM  325

MASTERY 18 funny how this hasn't changed in a while, gotta change that

Missed but not Wasted

    Missed opportunity. I missed open training yesterday. I know it is not a mandatory class but that is irrelevant. It is an opportunity to train. I got busy working in the back yard building the pergola (started at 7:30ish) and next thing I knew it was 9:45. I looked around at the work I was doing and decided the amount of time it would take to put everything away (tools - lots of theft in our area), clean up and head to open training versus just continuing to work with the limited time that Summer gives me to work outside, well the choice was obvious. I ended putting in almost eight hours in the yard yesterday, I got a huge amount done. It was time well spent. 

   So while I did miss the opportunity of open training, I fully used the opportunity of sweating it out in my south facing extremely hot (it was 32+ from 11 till 5) back yard. So I feel the scales are balanced. It's not like I sat inside on my butt watching Netflix eating Cheezies 😏, I utilized the day fully, and I am happy with the work I got done.

 

    I do have another blog in the works about Thursday's IHC class, just need to find the time to iron out my thoughts.

 

 

P/UP  19358

S/UP  18951

SPAR 530 min (unchanged)

1609  1043.51KM km

AOK 935 recorded

HAND FORM 350

WEAPON FORM  315

MASTERY 18

Even Keel But Lots of Waves

    No highs, no lows, just a fairly good week. Allowing my body to correct itself by not over doing my training. Slowing down my reps and really paying attention to my hips. Looking for rotation, power emanation, transfer of motion. My best way of describing it is I am looking for a wave. Similar to a wave in water when stone is thrown in a calm pond. an epic-center or starting point. The way I walk, the way I throw a punch or block, the transition between stances, the finishing of a move, the rotation. Digging deep into my hips, looking for clues to release some more harmonious motions. Trying to feel a starting and ending point and how they work together but separately. How one hip's movement initiates reactions in the other hip. Push pull, expansion contraction, movement without exaggeration, build up and release. 

   Anyways, that is my mind's current train, choo choo all aboard.......

 

 

 

P/UP  18738

S/UP  18331

SPAR 530 min

1609 1004.83 KM km

AOK  recorded 920

HAND FORM 335

WEAPON FORM  295

MASTERY 18