Shadow

    Confidence and competence, do they compliment each other or are they opposing forces? Yes to both, that seems to always be the answer in my life. While competence may open a door to more confidence, overconfidence can destroy competence turning it back into incompetence.

   This shadow of thought crept into me in Wednesdays class. Kicks, lots and lots of kicks. Speed verses precision, thought verses wuxin, ability verses expectations (mine), reality verses ego. All of these conflicting with each other, wanting to be number one. And this caused both my speed and confidence to falter. I did not leave class with a happiness in myself for a job well done. I knew I could do better, faster, more precise, more power, but I didn't. I held back, why did I do that??? What was I scared of? I need some self analysis on this one, poke the ego in it's soft underbelly.

   I know that the fitness test is not a just test but a tool, a tool to be used to better yourself, because you can't measure progression without a starting point AND a goal. 

   And that goal is always going to be moving. Factors like age, health (both mental and physical), opportunity, willingness to improve, all add or detract to that goal, both positively and negatively. 

   So I am going to be doing a LOT of kicks in the next while, building my confidence back one precise powerful technically correct kick at a time. And maybe, just maybe, competence through repetition will open a door for me, allowing my to step through to that wonderful feeling of wuxin.

 

   See you all there