I Am....Disciplined

I Am....Disciplined 

   I must admit, this one is more not than am. To me, discipline it the absence of excuse, the conviction of effort, the perfection of purpose. I will admit that I do not embody these ideals. To say that I am disciplined would mean I am not only lying to you but to myself. So here is a list of some of my lack of disciplines...

-My diet. This is the first one that I think of automatically. It is so easy to talk about but so monumentally hard for me to implement. I try to eat healthy, I want to eat healthy, I need to eat healthy, but I don't. I want to lose weight, I want to be "healthier", I want to be more empathetic with my food choices, but I never seem to succeed at this. Excuses, laziness, urges and ingrained eating patterns all work against me, and that is 100% on me. Ouch. 

-My effort to what is necessary to succeed. My mental and physical health, my job, my "projects" around the house, my personal life, all "good enough". This is forcing me to be mediocre. I never seem to be able to take things to the next level of awareness. I always seem to lack the discipline of mastery, taking the easy way instead of the hard way. Again, all on me.

 

Okay, enough of this negativity for now, it is bumming me out. Positivity time. 

I am disciplined at the following...

-I am disciplined at involving myself in my Wife and Son's life. I ask questions, I listen, I plan, and I love wholeheartedly.

-I am disciplined at writing my blogs. These are monumentally important to me. I have never had a platform for myself to express my inner me like this. These blogs have allowed my not only trace my journey through Kung Fu but through life. I have had deep conversations with this keyboard that I have never had with anyone else (sadly). Not writing a blog would be suffocating, and I didn't realize that till just now. Where else would I discuss something like discipline or lack of?

-I am disciplined at my desire to be a Martial Artist. In my opinion, only by striving to be a Martial Artist do I have any hope of becoming more disciplined where I lack it. The training, attending classes both mandatory and optional, the involvement in every event, the participation in the IHC every year, even the willingness to mop the floors and cut the grass, it all helps me with my journey towards discipline. The more I am involved in my Kung Fu, the more discipline becomes a way of my life. And this is a corner stone in my journey.

   Just like my wife, son and my blogging, my Kung Fu helps to define me. It graciously shows me that discipline is good. It is necessary, it is a tool to build a better me. 

So after this discussion with my keyboard, I have decided that  I am disciplined, where it counts (to me).

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