Cold

   I used to not be bothered by the cold but this latest cold streak has proven to me that that time has passed. Stiff knees, creaky hips, popping shoulders, I sound like an old house when I move. I was trying to do some forms work yesterday and for the life of me I could not get my internal temp above artic zombie (that's really cold). I watched myself in the mirror and I looked animated, poorly animated that is, think poorly drawn stick figure or Claymation (with frozen clay). No flow, no energy, no loosey goosey, just blah. So before I ended up injuring myself, I stopped. My mind said to me "there is always later when you get warm".  But is there? Life can wave it's hand at you at any point and say "meet my friend, Death". Yikes, this took a morbid turn, sorry about that, but being 55 and counting you (I) start to think about things like this.

   So where I am going with this is.... enjoy it while ya got it cause tomorrow it could all be gone. Cold or no cold, be glad Don that you are still alive and "suffering" through this. Things could be so much worse. 

Push Ups  14700

Sit Ups  14050

Sparring  800 min

1609KM  1784.74 km

Acts of Kindness  1400 recorded

Hand Form  490

Weapon Form  475

Mastery recited 50

Mental Salad

  This is one of those blogs that could go many different directions. So much has happened this week that I could blog about but that would be excessive. Grading, banquet, kids classes, time off, breathing, Chi cultivation, both family and Kung Fu traditions, camaraderie, outside looking in, demo preparation, achievements and disappointments, injuries and healing, the list goes on and on. There is no way I could ever claim I have nothing to blog about. 

   To pick one topic and compose a coherent blog, would be an afront to the other topics. But I do it anyways. I just need a moment to pick from the list.....and the winner is outside looking in... winner winner chicken dinner.

   Be blunt Don. I feel like an outsider 99.99% of the time. And that .01% is fleeting if nothing else. The IHC helped with that. Being allowed to be part of the kid's classes has helped with that. But to get more of what I desire I must give more. Give more time, give more effort, give more compassion, give more room in my soul for others, just give. And that I do not know how to do.

  I am sarcastic, judgmental, a pro at procrastination, a wizard at self loathing, and fearful of myself. I could blame society for making me this way but that is a bag of steaming crap. I make choices that are self-deprecating, I am openly hostile and vindictive at times, so on so on.... And I lose sleep over these black clouds that circle inside me.

    These are all part of me that I constantly working on to eradicate from "ME", perpetually trying to snuff these feeling and character flaws out. Yes they are dark and brooding, but they make the opposing light so so so much sweeter. So I struggle with me. Why? I do because I know how good it feels to succeed, how good it feels to be loved, how good it feels to give a bit of me every chance that presents itself. And Silent River is a huge part of this. 

   So to all of those who read this blog, thank you. To those who don't, I miss you. 

And on the flip side...

Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all. 

Push Ups  13200

Sit Ups  12650

Sparring  800 min

1609KM  1707.74 km

Acts of Kindness  1400 recorded

Hand Form  430

Weapon Form  445

Mastery recited 50

Kicks, Kicks and More Kicks

    Focusing on my kicks in Tuesday nights black belts class showed many disparities. One was left versus right abilities (height, power, speed). It has brought to the front of my mind the fact that if I am doing a kick I will automatically use my left leg as that is the one I am most comfortable using. And for that I am now paying the price. My left hip is very unhappy with me. 

   I wanted the power, the speed, the coordination that comes with using my left leg while we were doing these kicks, I felt I was making good progress. But part of me wanted to see what the right leg could (couldn't) do. The right leg was slower, lower and off target. I wasn't surprised, I rarely use this leg for kicks, and it showed. Defiantly no six harmonies there, maybe two if I was lucky. 

   Part of me screams "then ignore your left leg and only focus on your right". But there must be balance or I risk more bias of a side. So I will start with the right, work out a few kinks, then the left gets to play. I want to see if I can find a balanced between the two so technique approaches a balance. 

   I most likely will always favor my left, I am a lefty by the way, but the right needs to start to assert some authority here cause I am leaving it behind. 

Push Ups  13200

Sit Ups  12650

Sparring  800 min

1609KM  1707.74 km

Acts of Kindness  1400 recorded

Hand Form  430

Weapon Form  445

Mastery recited 50

Shifting

   So now it is December. Why does this matter to me? Easy answer, in my job world, Sept, Oct and Nov are chaos, I work in the automotive industry and the beginning of  "Tire Season" (insert maniacal laugh here) starts in mid Sept and the weather dictates how busy I will be till the initial rush is over which is usually about now (early Dec). These three(ish) months account for over 60% of our annual business so to say it is an important time would be understating the obvious. This rush can be one of two things, chaos and freaking chaos. Almost every single person is in a panic and it is my/our (our = my staff and I ) job to de-panic them. Plus the end of Nov is my yearly inventory which accounts for a very large amount of my yearly wage so I need to pour everything I have into it. This period of time can and usually is mentally and physically all consuming for me. I liken it to juggling snow flakes in a wind storm. So now it is December, ahhhhh, I can breathe. The snow flakes are no longer ominous but pretty again. 

  Being that it is now December, I am able to shift to a different mindset. It is almost relaxing for me. Christmas parties, family get togethers, just the season in general, love it. It may seem busy but it is a Gooood busy. 

   I can now refocus on my Kung Fu as well, no blurred mind from work, no physical exhaustion from truckloads of tires and batteries and body panels and rims and..... I can already feel myself being recharged and I looking forward to channeling that renewed energy towards my forms. It is a breath of fresh clean air. From over stimulation to chosen stimulation. And as grading day and the banquet both approach very quickly, I now have the time and mental energy to devote much more time to both. I am really looking forward to the next few months to see what I can accomplish.

Push Ups  12900

Sit Ups  12350

Sparring  750 min

1609KM  1707.74 km

Acts of Kindness  1400 recorded

Hand Form  425

Weapon Form  430

Mastery recited 50