It Wasn't Criticism

   Criticism. It's a double edged sword, razor thin. Positive or negative. Welcomed openly or disdained. Helpful or hurtful. It all depends on both the person giving it and the one taking it. Is it from someone you admire/respect or someone you don't care for. Is it constructive or destructive? Does it hurt you ego or enlighten you to change for the better? Lots to ponder there. Another layer of my onion just got peeled away.

   After Thursday's IHC class, I was given some criticism by a fellow Student. But before the comment, I was asked if I was open to it. Of course I was open to it, always! I wasn't offended,  I wasn't hurt or angry, I was actually touched that someone else cared enough to try and make me better at Kung Fu. Great big glowing "AHA" moment for me.

   And now I am analyzing the way I "comment/criticize" other people. I know for a fact my mouth gets way ahead of my brain sometimes (ok - most times). I am quick to comment, flippant, sarcastic, and very rarely a positive influence. Ouch, writing that down hurts. What I think is positive criticism may very well be a slap to the face or an insult to another. I need to slow down the wordage and think before I speak, and not just in Kung Fu but in my daily life as well. That will truly be a challenge. 

   So thank you for the criticism Sihing Burke, your comment may have just changed my life, for the better of course.

 

 

Push Ups 25568

Sit Ups 23631

Sparring 640

1609KM 1464.81km

Acts of Kindness 1350 Recorded

Hand Form 450

Weapon Form 440

Mastery recited 18

Front Side Thrust Heel

   Front thrust kick, side heel kick. Apparently I am combining them on my left leg when doing a front thrust kick. I am twisting my left ankle to start the rotation that I would use for a side heel. How did I not notice this? The kick felt correct to me. The kick felt good, the kick felt strong, why would I question anything? I now see I have became complacent in my execution of the technique, crap.

   Mediocrity had crept in and I failed to notice.

   It took an outside eye to notice that things had gone wrong (thanks Deb😉) and I am grateful for that critique, it was a poke to my eye for detail. 

  Now, what else have I let fall apart? 

Push Ups 25268

Sit Ups 23331

Sparring 640

1609KM 142639km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1325

Hand Form 434

Weapon Form 415

Mastery recited 18

Why I mow

    I don't have to mow the lawns at the Kwoon. I don't have to sweep and clean the Kwoon. I don't have to mop after class. I do it because I want to give back. I do it because it helps Silent River stay pleasing not just to the eyes but also to the soul. I do it because I am proud to be part of this wonderful school. I do it to bring my family closer together. I do it because it brings me a sense of pride when the school looks clean and tidy. I do it because I can. 

   When Kody and I cut the lawns or when Deb, Kody and I sweep and clean the Kwoon, I feel a sense of peace. This school has brought not just Kung Fu into my life but brought my family closer together. To see my son mowing the lawns of his on volition, I grin ear to ear. I know that he will be okay in life, I can see he "gets it". Watching Deb sweep, getting every little sequence from the lions, I see the Black Belt in her, working towards perfection, "good enough" is not good enough. These two souls have found me and made me whole, so proud of them.

   So why do I mow? I mow because I must. It is a part of my martial arts journey. I can not and will not sit on the sidelines watching, I will not wait for someone else to do it, I will do whats right for me to feel like I am giving back, even if it is just an ice cube in an iceberg. 

 

Push Ups 24865

Sit Ups 22931

Sparring 595 unchanged

1609KM 1392.60km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1300 unchanged

Hand Form 434

Weapon Form 411

Mastery recited 18

Slip of the Intent

    "That was not what I intended". This just keeps racing through my mind. My intent was to spark some interest in our charities to the Young Dragons. One word, that was all it took to derail everything I had already done. Now the entire focus was on that one word. No! Where is my time machine? Right, there is no such thing. Now I must own that terrible moment. I don't want it but it is mine and mine alone. Crap.

   What did I learn from this? Intent is very hard to keep pure if you are not in the moment. My mind was already somewhere else when this happened. I was more concerned with wrapping things up than I was in getting the Young Dragons excited in our charities. Double crap. Now what? Try to repair the damage? Pretend it never happened and move on? I guess I will gauge that next week in class. Triple crap.

   So now to apply this to my Kung Fu because everything I do affects my Kung Fu. It's not like the idea of intent is new to my journey, it may have been brought up here and there. But this was example of losing my intent that was about as subtle as a wrecking ball. So does this mean I gather my intents close to me and over analyze the crap out of everything or I do or extend my being to allow my intents to purify themselves through experiences.? Or somewhere in the middle? 

   I cannot stress just how much this has altered my view of myself. It is as though stepping through that portal of "intentlessness" has opened countless more opportunities to right my journey. How I learn from this will help me understand myself a little bit more me thinks.

   And none of this would have happened if I wasn't given the opportunity to teach. I have learned SO much about myself in the short time I have been involved in helping to instruct fellow students in class. It is the key to my success, without it, my Kung Fu would have not progressed to where it is  today. So thank you for allowing me to be a part of Silent River, it has changed me forever.

 

 

Push Ups 24618

Sit Ups 22681

Sparring 595 unchanged

1609KM 1366.85km

Acts of Kindness Recorded 1300 unchanged

Hand Form 430

Weapon Form 401 unchanged

Mastery recited 18