Tough To Share

I am sitting here this morning trying to decide what I want to blog about. I actually have several things on my mind and a bunch of things I am working on, but I really don't feel like blogging about any of it. Sometimes, like now, I just don't feel like sharing. This isn't meant to sound dark or foreboding, I just don't want to put out something negative when it really isn't, it's just "in progress". I am trying my hardest to turn a dark or negative "whatever" into something that isn't. This is just my squishy monkey brain over thinking things that have either been said to me personally or unjustified criticisms that I have witnessed others receive. It is also about my actions over the past while, I have noticed a disturbing trend in my thoughts towards others, and that has to stop. 

Maybe I am being too sensitive or critical, maybe not, that is what I am going to have to figure out on my own. Everyone is allowed to have an opinion, I just want mine to be a positive one, not dictated by others who are trying to impose themselves on me. 

So I am going to go lose myself in some Tai Chi and physical activity, enjoy being in the moment, as this usually seems to guide me through my thoughts.

Sorry for the miserable blog, just wanted to share about not sharing.

  

Classes With Benefits

    I've always enjoyed helping out in the other classes. With the knowledge shared, the connections with other students made, the practice of my abilities, all pure bonuses to my training. Then there is seeing when a fellow student has an "aha" moment, whether they are remembering something someone else has told them or it was something I have said or done, it is an awesome sight and feeling. While I may not be able get to all the classes, the ones I do attend are always special. One of them this week gave ME an aha moment.

   Eyes, it was all about the eyes and being in the moment. The level II class was doing forms and I was at the back of the Kwoon observing, and then it happened. A student was doing their form, looking good, and then they made eye contact with me, and the next few moves they made fell of the rail. 

   No ones fault, I was just there, in their line of sight, I wasn't moving or doing anything distracting, but that momentary eye contact pulled them out of the moment. I felt bad but suddenly I got something that was said to me a while ago (maybe two years ago?) about me making eye contact when doing my forms. I never really understood the significance of that until that exact moment. Boom! I saw what the Sifu meant. now My aha moment, years after a nugget of knowledge was passed onto me, suddenly opened up inside me. Cool. Now to nurture that nugget of pure gold and integrate it into my Kung Fu and my forms. 

   And this all happened during someone else's class, just by being there to help out. I love getting that type of indirect knowledge, it just sneaks up on you and yells "surprise!!". Made me smack my forehead (internally) and say "duh Don", awesome. 

   Thank you to the instructors for making this possible, obviously one class a week is nowhere near enough time for me to learn Kung Fu because there is so much to learn, whether it is directly or indirectly. I'll try to be the best sponge I can be, soaking up all the awesome "universe juice"  I can get. 

Compadre

       Starting to find my way, that is how I would describe the feeling of this week. Tough to describe it in words so I won't, but it feels good.

   I would have to say that one of the highlights of the week was open training yesterday. OMG! This was fantastic. I lost count after twenty-five people. The energy, the sweat, weapons everywhere, sparring, grappling, young and not so young. I haven't seen this on a Saturday in years. Sure I didn't get much opportunity to swing my big weapon around, small price to pay to see that level of engagement from so many people. I truley do hope this is a sign of things to come, lets keep this momentum going my fellow Kung Fu'ers. 

   On the topic of my new weapon, the Tiger Fork. She is a bit of a ornery beast. The videos I have been watching have talked a lot about gravity and how to use it to my advantage. After swinging this beauty around a bit, I can see why. It does not change direction easily or willingly. My shoulders remind me of this every time I try to muscle it to my will. Letting it "fall' or "swing" into a move is interesting. I must merge my control with the weapon and gravity and momentum, a strange set of compadres for me, that is for sure. Working together will be fun. Two of these four (gravity, momentum), are old friends, two are strangers to this new quartet (weapon and me). Again, working together will be fun.

Adjustments

   One week in, and it is starting to come into focus. My routine that is. Mornings are pretty much the same, with a tweak here and there as my Kung Fu progresses. Evenings though, I am still finding my "place". 

   December and January evening schedules were; Monday 6:30-7:30 help out with the level one class then my class (level two) from 7:30-8:30, plus an hour(ish) of Dragon dance practice. Tuesday was reset and practice what we did on Monday( about an hours worth at home). Wednesday; 5:30-6:30 Tai Chi, 6:30-7:30 help out with the level one class, then my class (level two) from 7:30-8:30, then an hour(ish) of Dragon dance practice (four hours on Wed), Thursday IHC from 7:30-8:30, Saturday one to two hours at the Kwoon getting ready for the banquet, Sundays back to the Kwoon for an hour of five techniques practice. It was a blur of activity, I felt like I was constantly wound up with very little down time, and the down time I did have was basically mental shutdown to gather myself (some might call it meditation, I think that insults true meditation). 

   I am not complaining!! I am reminiscing. It was an amazing stretch of time. The things I learned , the friendships I made, the excitement of what was to come, how will I ever top that?! I can't. I will always fondly remember this time, it was spectacular.

   Master Brinker talks about how we should maintain a level of consistency/sustainability throughout our Kung Fu career. So with a little adjustment here and a tweak there, this should start to take shape very quickly for me. As I had said at the beginning, my mornings haven't changed very much over the years, an addition here, a subtraction there, but overall pretty consistent. It is my after work and weekends I need to figure out.

   Yes my evenings are now different, but my goals haven't changed (much), to learn Kung Fu. The physical activity I am not getting in class, I must do outside of class. My intent and intensity are mine to manage on my own, so I will. 

   I am excited for this next stage of my learning, as Sihing Cosgrove said "welcome to the new white belt". Sweet, bring it on!