Sunday, September 25, 2022

Mulling the Now

   Did I say what I meant? Was what I said understood with the intention that I tried to convey? Is what I am saying making sense to others or only to me? Usually the answer is a big stinkin no, but to which question?. English is such a funny language, it is so easy to have your words or writings misinterpreted. As the immortal Bender Bending Rodrigues would say, "fun on a Bun".

   Take the word intensity for example. Ask 10 people what this word means to them and you will get 12 answers. I even have a hard time defining what this word means to me, to myself, right here and now. If I am in a good mood, it means one thing, bad mood, another, Tuesday this, Friday that. So trying to convey my inner understanding of this word is a quagmire of contradictions. Even the act of defining what intensity means to me causes the meaning to morph while defining it (funny, I actually typed in defiled by accident - Freudian slip?). 

   One of our written assignments for black belt grading is to define what intensity means to me. Done. Or is it?? I went back and re-read what I wrote on this subject and to myself I said "what the heck is this? This is not what intensity means to you, redo it!!". Well yes and no, that was what intensity meant to me at that time, at that moment, but not now, but maybe later? Arrgg - absolutes drive me bonkers. Which brings me to this. If you ask me on a Monday in the summer, intensity will mean one thing, a Tuesday in the fall, another. I am not being contradictory on purpose but you see the problem. As I grow in both age and knowledge, my understanding of the concept of intensity is going to change as well. This is a good thing, growth is good.

   So back to the drawing board on this word, for today's meaning will help define my training today, and who know what tomorrow will bring, right?

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