Mulling the Now

   Did I say what I meant? Was what I said understood with the intention that I tried to convey? Is what I am saying making sense to others or only to me? Usually the answer is a big stinkin no, but to which question?. English is such a funny language, it is so easy to have your words or writings misinterpreted. As the immortal Bender Bending Rodrigues would say, "fun on a Bun".

   Take the word intensity for example. Ask 10 people what this word means to them and you will get 12 answers. I even have a hard time defining what this word means to me, to myself, right here and now. If I am in a good mood, it means one thing, bad mood, another, Tuesday this, Friday that. So trying to convey my inner understanding of this word is a quagmire of contradictions. Even the act of defining what intensity means to me causes the meaning to morph while defining it (funny, I actually typed in defiled by accident - Freudian slip?). 

   One of our written assignments for black belt grading is to define what intensity means to me. Done. Or is it?? I went back and re-read what I wrote on this subject and to myself I said "what the heck is this? This is not what intensity means to you, redo it!!". Well yes and no, that was what intensity meant to me at that time, at that moment, but not now, but maybe later? Arrgg - absolutes drive me bonkers. Which brings me to this. If you ask me on a Monday in the summer, intensity will mean one thing, a Tuesday in the fall, another. I am not being contradictory on purpose but you see the problem. As I grow in both age and knowledge, my understanding of the concept of intensity is going to change as well. This is a good thing, growth is good.

   So back to the drawing board on this word, for today's meaning will help define my training today, and who know what tomorrow will bring, right?

Ahh Vegas

    As summer winds down, Deb and I took a trip to Las Vegas with a few friends for her upcoming 50th birthday (Nov 2). As much fun as I had I must admit, nothing makes me miss the peace of home like a trip to Sin City. Sensory overload is the only way a simple Alberta boy can describe it. The noise, the lights, the excess of everything everywhere you look, and did I mention the noise? Being back at home, it feels as though a bubble has popped that was surrounding me, letting the peace of home come back to me with open arms. I also feel a weird sense of urgency to get things caught up and back on track. I am almost panicky when thinking about what the next few weeks of catch up will bring. But such is life.

    While in Vegas, Kung Fu took a side seat (never a back seat), I thought about it constantly, but try as I might, the opportunity never surfaced for me to do any meaningful training. Push ups - I was not putting my hands on that carpet, yuck, same as sit ups, double yuck. Forms, our room was tiny and designed by Picasso on dope, so only if I did the entire form on one spot, I did try but in no way did it feel like a form. The gym at the hotel was for steroid freaks only, so yikes - no thanks, there really was no open free spaces, but what did I expect, it's Vegas. 

   So back to now. Enough talking about what I didn't do, enough inaction. Time to get back at it, it truley is the only was to progress.

Easy Does It

    I really enjoy this time of the year. For me it is a time of contemplation, of review, of judgement. Did I get all my summer projects done, did I get in enough golf, did I make the most of the outdoors, did I visit family and friends, BBQ, ride my motorbike, take the dog on super long walks, go to football games, stare at the night sky, or did I sit on my butt and waste the five or six months we get before mother nature pushes me back inside. Yes this years' weather has been kinda weird, May was nice, June was rain-rain-rain, July and August were crazy hot, but mother nature doesn't care about my schedule so again I ask myself ,"did I make the most of my time?". 

   Well yes and no seems to be my answer. Luckily I am a morning person so I do my best to get as much done before 10 AM as the evenings can be repressively hot. But unfortunately this doesn't work for my family some days, well okay, most days. So I learn to be quiet, tip toeing around, planning and laying out my daily chores so that when everyone is finally up (usually 8ish), BOOM, I can get right at it. Such is today. I was up at 4am-ish (my normal time whether I like it or not) and wandering about the house planning my morning. What I ended up spending most of my time doing this morning was reflecting. Watching the sunrise, listening to the birds sing, watching the world take shape outside my window. It was very peaceful. Hence this blog. 

   I don't know if it because I am creeping up there in age or I am just starting to finally realize that life is way too short to worry about the petty things but some realizations have crept into my being lately. The world will go on just fine when my time is over so I must enjoy the time I am given. My health is good, my job provides, my family is pure gold, I have all I need to be happy, so I will be just that, happy. Sure I will still strive to improve where possible, but I won't stress about it. 

   I think one of the biggest factors that permeates my ability to enjoy my life is the awesomeness of those who have chosen to be a part of my life. Past and present, living and passed on, I have had and still do have some very incredible people in my life. The list is quite long, I won't go into detail, but you know who you are. 

   So thank you to all who have allowed me to be me, who have allowed me to enjoy this life, I greatly appreciate you.